Breaking Your Thoughts…

January provides a month where a lot of individuals re analyse their lives, what makes them happy, what do they want and what do they want to achieve. After such big breakthroughs in life for me in 2017, I have felt an immense amount of pressure to keep pushing – which excites me as I feel the effect of the compound effect of positive mental attitude, but recently I have spent a lot of time reflecting on how do I help others achieve that compound effect, how do I encourage and motivate individuals who really are struggling to see the light and enable them to break out the mould of their negative habits. We all have bad/negative habits, BUT after presenting at Scottish Athletics seminar on Eating Disorders last night with such an amazing turn out and listening to Louise Capicotto it really sparked some deep thoughts. So many of us battle thoughts, WE ALL do… but only a handful know how to really deal with their emotions in a positive manner and understand themselves and their own self needs. I have been reading the book, “Quiet” by Susan Cain divulging into the world of introverts and the power of introverts. How difficult is it being an introvert in an extroverted world? We are all expected to be this specific way to be successful – Lawyers, bankers, stock traders, business men, BUT some of the worlds most successful people are those who are introverts. An introvert are sometimes viewed as weird, BUT what if you had the balance correct. Walking away from last nights presentation made me realise a lot of things:

  • You Can Achieve Anything You Decide You Want To Do
    • As I was talking through my experiences last night, this was the first time I have been brutally honest about some of my experiences and lows. 9 years ago I tried to kill myself because I couldn’t handle the demon in my head called bulimia. I was so LOW, I had no esteem, no drive, I had completely lost who I was, my worth, where I was, what I wanted, who I wanted to be, I just wanted this illness taken away from me. I couldn’t see escape, and I thought the only escape was to go. As a bulimic sufferer, unlike anorexia you hide your illness, you look relatively normal weight, can put on a front, hide away socially, physically and emotionally. You learn to shut people out, even the closest to you. I spent days and weeks where I only left my bed after I had starved myself for days to eat, which I knew would start the next cycle. I want to tell you WHATEVER your stage of recovery – YOU can get back to a fully functioning normal life. You CAN believe in yourself again, you just need to keep working on it, you need to keep reminding yourself YOU are worth it. I have days still now here and then where I am so low I want the world to disappear, BUT what I have realised is that these days are few and far between, and it is mostly due to the fact that one of the personality traits of an ED sufferer is OCD and Perfectionism. I have spent, and still spend time daily working on my mindset and strength to ensure I am fully functioning. It is something I will never be able to stop doing because I always want to keep improving and growing and being a better human being to help others become happier and healthier too. Last night I stood up in front of a room of nearly 100 people to speak with confidence, and happiness about my experiences in a positive light. Listening to Louise also helps prove that There is a light at the end of the tunnel YOU need to keep going, because I promise you that it is worth it. One step at a time. Don’t beat yourself up at a set back, just refocus, regain your thoughts and start moving forward again. At times last night my anxiety started to take over as I was speaking at the thought of, “I am setting myself up for complete judgement” and thoughts running through my head at points were, “everyone thinks I’m a joke” and “I am not good enough to be up here” BUT I have learnt to shut out my chimp! That voice that negatively talks me down – YOU can do that too, the thoughts may be there but it’s learning how to destroy them and prove them wrong.

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      Glasgow 2014 CWG QUALF
  • The Power Of Others Emotions and Words
    • How many times have you taken a moment to think about your emotional affect on someone else? It is something I am very very conscious about, but its something a lot of people do not think about or care about. I have written a couple blogs that touch on this topic and an instagram live feed. The power of others negative impact on your thoughts. How many times have you walked into a room and put that negative emotion onto the others in the room? If I ever do that, the next best thing I do is apologise straight away and try to create a positive impact. How many times have you thought about the power of your words? I spoke last night about unveiling in counselling sessions some of my triggers from back when I was a child. I speak about in my book an incident from back when I was 6 year olds, that sparked the trigger of embarrassment for not being good enough. When I was 8, upon being left out of a group I was called Fat, at 10 a passing comment from a parent which was overheard by a friend about potentially being ill (anorexic) was passed onto me from a friend again only 10 neither of us understanding what it meant because I was super skinny “far too skinny”. Sometimes you don’t realise the power of what you say and the affect that has on your subconscious mind. This is why the phrase be kind always is so important. Girls especially are terrible, I would never want to go through my teenage years ever again, BUT now guys are becoming increasingly worse. WE ALL NEED TO STOP TEARING EACH OTHER DOWN –  WE NEED TO START BUILDING EACH OTHER UP. What makes someone more important than the next person? NOTHING! We are all equal in our own right. Lets start creating that environment for the youth of today to grow and love instead of tearing each other down. This starts from adults now – our generation the generation before us – WE SET THE PRECEDENT! Which is why I am so privileged and grateful to have the opportunities I have now to help change the future for our youth. IMG_2297-1
  • Admission is NOT weakness it is STRENGTH 
    • Admission is not a weakness it is a strength. It takes some guts to admit, “I have a problem” NO MATTER WHAT it is: Addiction, mental health, medical issues, eating disorders, disabilities, there is nothing to be ashamed off. One of the key purposes of speaking out was to help others realise, Yes I have had an Eating Disorder and do you know what No I am not ashamed of it. It is something that defined me for so long, but IT no longer will define me, it helped me redefine myself, it has catapulted me to really learn who I am, it has enabled me to see what serious depression is in and made me realise how fortunate I am to have made it through, to see light in each day and have the opportunity to help others to see that you can break through. Every struggle you go through is a lesson, a lesson for you to grow, and understand who you are better. I am not saying it will be easy, BY GOSH it will take hard work, a lot of HARD work, but how much do you want to live a normal life again? How much do you want to see the light? How much do you want to laugh and smile at the sun rising in the morning, to smile at the beauty of the world, see the light and hope in others around you and see the good in what everyone is trying to do for you and help others understand how to be kinder and happier.  Admission is the first step to saying, “I am strong”, “I want a better life”, “I deserve to be happy” and YOU DO! I want you to know that you are not alone. Admission is a lonely phase, it can be isolating and scary, its the steps that you know you can’t back out, you have a stamp on your forehead, BUT you are not alone. We are here for you, and we are here to help you see the light. Speak out, reach out and allow yourself to live yourself again, overtime, you will see it is worth it. Don’t let your demons define you – Lets rise up and burn your flame so bright. IMG_1296

“Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world”

Roald Dahl

I AM  – The Two Most Powerful Words You are Going to use:
I am POWERFUL
I am BEYOUTIFUL
I am WORTHY
I am READY
I am A WARRIOR
I am GOING TO CHANGE MY LIFE

* I believe in you – I want you to believe in you too *

Get Your Copy Of Free-ed on Amazon

With Love

J

xxx

Jayne is available for Transformational speaking engagements and Event Hosting.

Contact pa@beyoutiful-u.co.uk for information

Undeniably You

Sorry guys I haven’t blogged in a few weeks it’s been mega busy BUT I am back! Touching on the topic of being undeniably you! We all get so caught up in being the person we think everyone else wants us to be that sometimes we forget who we are and what we want. On the flip side conversations I’ve had with so many people since releasing my book about perceptions of being scared of getting hurt and automatically assuming someone is going to hurt you because you act a specific way. I won’t deny that I have been guilty of automatically assuming as soon as someone gets to know me that they will automatically end up hurting me because that’s what’s happened in the past. I have spent so much time over the past 12 months working on my ability to not panic and accept if someone doesn’t accept you for you then it’s okay. It means that that person isn’t your person and that’s okay, it isn’t a reflection of you at all, it is just you don’t vibe at the same level. Everyone at some level panics. Goodness I was speaking to one of my students last week and she was asking for help in confidence as I seem so strong. I explained I have learnt to be this way through putting myself out there, facing rejection, gaining strength and really learning to workout who I am and what I want. Knowing what you bring to the table is so vital if you want to attract in what you want. I have the issue that I am an incredibly strong personality but I also have this incredible sincere and caring side and sometimes when someone gets close that side of me petrifies the other person because I have a very diverse personality. So what I am bringing to you tonight is to say let’s start being undeniably you. Your complete self – expressing you as you as how you love and want to be! Then you can start attracting in the right people to your life that are going to lift you higher and help you realise how amazing you are. Here are my top 3 tips to start learning and discovering you:

Reflection:

Ive spoken a lot about reflection in the past but it really is vital to enable you to grow as a person. If you aren’t reflecting daily how can you expect to grow? Reflecting on your day- things that made you feel good. Things that made you feel sad, things you achieved, things you are proud of, situations and scenery that you found beauty it. It is usually the simple things that make you smile the most. Notice the places you were and the people you were with.

Discovery:

Most people never take time to indulge in self discovery. Put yourself in situations that challenge your comfort zones. See how you react. Tackle your biggest fears and step up your game. If you want to travel get out there and do it. If you want to learn a new skill – sign up to the course – firstly you never know who you might meet. By challenging your comfort zone and putting yourself into places you want to be you will attract the right people into your life.

Intuition:

Honestly intuition is key to your life. But your intuition can’t be in tune if you aren’t implementing the first 2 steps. Meditation, self development, reflection, discovery and fulfilment all help you tap into your intuition. Intuition is your strongest asset. Start learning to listen to you and not what everyone else says. Trust your self, be yourself and learn to be undeniably you 💜

Free-ed is Available Now

This week has been mental health awareness week with world mental health awareness day. Do you know someone who is affected by mental health? Whether for you or someone else please share this post and let’s help people talk and get the help they need. 💜

Free-ed purpose.

Too many girls, boys, adults out there suffer from severe issues within mental health. Free-ed purpose is to take away the interim step before you get help. It is a book where I hope I can help people unravel a few demons and take the next steps to rebuild their lives. Everybody deserves great things and everyone has a mission in life – just sometimes we get a bit side tracked. In sport I hope I can bridge the gap between up and coming athletes and the elite level. A lot of athletes don’t make it to the top because their isn’t support for them in the interim phases, and hopefully help and reduce the image distortion of perfection in the younger generation. Being YOURself is perfection. Being happy and comfortable in YOU is perfection, being able to say I love what I bring to the table is perfection. We are ALL perfect in our own way through just being us. But we all forget it picking up minuscule things about what we hate about ourselves day to day. Learn to love yourself, fuel yourself well, nourish and take care of your body because then your mental side will reward you.

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What is free-ed about:

Free-ed is an insight into my journey from my lowest points and admission of an eating disorder and a self help and self discovery step by step guide implementing my experiences for someone else in the same position to use to help them gain clarity and gain the confidence to refind themselves. My favourite chapter is chapter 6 redefine yourself and rise up which really focuses on what I feel is the key elements of the book. Mental health issues are something that is widely talked about in the press and media now as our lives get busier, more demanding and stressful so does the number of mental health problems, With youngsters growing up into a world where perfection is constantly strived towards. Life is now very demanding for everyone which is causing more than 70 million sick days per year in the UK ALONE! In terms of eating disorders 1.6 MILLION people are affected per year and thats only of the ones that actually go and admit they have a problem. Eating disorders are described as The Silent Illness a blog I wrote early this year. My mission with free-ed is to remove this stimulus around it all and help others be able to speak out and not be embarrassed. This links into with a new social media movement I am creating called beYOUtiful u. You can see this on my business cards and find out more about it in the next coming weeks.

My Journey:

My Journey to recovery started in 2009. I realised and admitted I had developed an eating disorder. Not easy for anyone to admit, but from this point on I was determined to turn my life around and made sure I was being the best version of

myself. Sounds so easy wri:ng it down, but crea:ng it is not so much – It has been a crazy journey, unless you are really willing to make that change, and all it takes are a few small changes step by step, day by day to create a version of yourself that you are happy with, believe in and can look in the mirror and know who you are looking at. For a long period of time I did not know who that person was in the mirror. They looked blank, transparent and unrecognisable. I embarked on a journey to not describe the person looking back at me but knowing the person looking back at me was who I wanted to be and

therefore; Creating my best version.

My obsession and ultimate issue was not food but my drive for perfection – for EVERY single liWle detail of my life, of me of how people viewed me needed to be perfect. OCD was a strong trait of mind finalising down the smallest detail food tracking, diary management and training. 2009 was my final year at university and was an extremely stressful :me, which coincided with a rela:onship ending (s:ll to find a man to :e me down) and a massive life move (these seem to be a big part of my life) and this started a downward spiral for me. I became bulimic in April 2009 – up until this point I just had very controlled and destructie eati habits. August 2009 was the start of the most destructive part of my life. In October 2009, aaer a destructie morning, I felt I was losing the plot, I broke down and phoned a friend to admit I had an eating problem and we booked an appointment with the doctor. I could barely pull myself out of bed in the morning, and if I did my day would end about 2 hours later. I felt completely lost and completely out of control. At my worst I barely wanted to leave the house. From September 2009 until March 2010 my bulimia became worse than it had ever was. To me because I had admiWed it, it seemed to be acceptable for me to just carry on rather than actually physically doing anything about it. I was placed on a waiting list for behavioural treatment but I couldn’t handle the wait and used Beats online materials for support to create a plan. In May 2010 my Commonwealth dreams were over. I had developed tendonitis in my knees and was completely lost as to where I was going. I decided to stop high jumping but by leaving my sport behind I lea a piece of my identity behind too. I didn’t know what I was doing with my life, where I was going, who I was going to be, how I was going to feel. I used this feeling to spur me on to recover – I wanted more than anything at this point to be the best person I could be. I started by addressing what made me happy, how I could get my story across, how I could inspire other people, let them know that others suffering could win this fight. In October 2010 everyone headed out to the Commonwealth Games in Delhi at this point I made a promise to myself – I WAS going to overcome my ea:ng issues and be going for a medal by the :me Glasgow 2014 came around. The first step was by addressing what would make me happy, happiness would be the key thing for me to overcome everything. A massive journey of self discovery, ups and downs, highlights and extreme lows would unfold over the next 5 years BUT the key outcome and the key difference was EVERYTHING that happened in that period would make a stronger, more confident and beWer person. I set myself training targets; I worked my way through life day-to-day, week-to-week, building a personal training business and gaining confidence everyday. My business was a massive help in my recovery, not only did it force me out of bed because I had to generate money, but through communica:ng with others and being a role model for clients it really pushed me to get myself beWer. In 2012 I eventually had the confidence to speak to someone to really pull me through the other side – I worked with a psychotherapist from 2012 – 2014, working on confidence and my rela:onship with myself and food, My biggest issue was my relationship with myself. Through a couple of set backs along the way between 2012 and 2014 my strength I had learnt along the way always made me refocus my life and my goals to ensure I stayed on the right track. On August 1st 2014 I stepped out to represent my country at the commonwealth games high jump final – the proudest moment in my life. Not only because of the occasion but for what it represented to me and those close to me – I had beaten my demon, I had managed to turn my life around and work through everything to achieve a life goal. And I stand today knowing than I stand true to myself through everything. I worked hard every day to get through to the other side, I have competed in the commonwealth games and now I am moving forward with other aspects of my life – work and business.

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What’s next for me?

Free-ed is the first step of the next step of my journey. I hope that my story can help and inspire others out there to achieve their goals and their dreams – there is a light, reach out, grab it and discover your best version. The BeYOUtiful u movement is about helping females especially learn to love themselves being completely them. No matter what is said about you, comments, feelings and doubts you have, you can learn to be beyoutifully you. My journey and sole purpose in life is to help and inspire through challenges I set myself. A defini:on of the say be the change you want to see in the world. Each and every day people face struggles, and don’t know how to cope, and I am here to say thats okay. It is okay to admit that life is hard. It is okay to admit that things aren’t okay – talking about opening up about it will help you be able to deal with

everything. If you are reading this post please tag with this hashtag: it’s good to talk #beyoutifulwarrior

Free-ED is available now on amazon here.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1910662445/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1508024368&sr=1-2&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=Jayne+Nisbet&dpPl=1&dpID=41bveNVuHHL&ref=plSrch

Be The Change You Want to See in the World

Copy of Copy of Benefits of Dark Chocolate(1)

Ghandi once said: “Become The Change You Wish to See in the World” which ressonates and resounds so clear with me in regards to my outlook on life. Let’s not deny it, everyone has things they go through, but the ones who fight through despite potentially the world crumbling around them are the ones we gain strength from, the people we look at and think wow, “I want to be able to be like that”. I had similar feelings, which is why I wrote my book: Free-ed. I used to pray for my mind and my body to look at myself in the mirror and be happy with what was standing there, for my mind to stop tormenting me that I wasn’t perfect, that if I could just portray happiness within myself to the outside world, that I could be one of these people whos’ smiles shined brighter than anyone elses because I installed hope and inspiration to others. Then I realised – “but Jayne you need to work this out for yourself”. As Arielle Ford says,

When you truely love yourself, you are no longer willing to compromise your standards, because you value your happiness too much.

This is a very powerful and very true quote. Alot of us hold onto things in our life that cause up negative feedback and negative feelings. Why? Because it is safe. It is safe to feel like that, it is easier to live like that in that moment than making a change. It is easier because you stay hidden in the background not embracing who you are and who you REALLY want to be. Let me ask you a question right now:

Are you TRUELY being TRUE to yourself 24/7?

 

If your answer is no – then we need to start identifying and working out who you REALLY Truely are and then express yourself that way being 100% comfortable in you! My new book Free-ed helps you identify what is stopping you be your true self and we work through a step by step guide together on how to help you embrace your true self!
This is available for order on October 16th 2017

But for Friday here is 3 steps to start embracing your true self and be your best version:

  • Identify Who And When You Feel Most Yourself
    • When you are most happy in yourself identify who you are around, how do you feel, where are you when you feel like that and who are you at that moment? For me – at school I never really felt like I fit in, but when I was training or around my athletics circle I felt completely at ease and myself. Only surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you not the stress in you. Once you start doing this you won’t accept anything less
  • Start Accepting AND Embracing Your Quirky Ways
    • Don’t listen to negative influences. If you met me a couple of years back, I used to be told I am so embarassing, I needed to remember where I was, and that I was unlovable because I was so head strong and driven. After removing that negativity from my life and a WHOLE journey of self discovery, I am TRUELY myself 24/7 embracing all quirks, all embarassingness, to truely be who I am. If someone doesn’t accept it, it is more than likely that I also find them awkward to be around. What is the saying “Your vibe attracts your tribe and when you find your tribe love them hard.” You need to start accepting that you don’t need to fit in, you were born to be your UNIQUE self. If you truely are YOU you attract other like minded people into your life. These people will be truely your friends, your soulmates and the correct people that are only going to lift you higher in your life.
  • Remind Yourself its not you, its them
    • When you find yourself doubting, KEEP reminding yourself, a reflection on how someone treats you is their insecurities with themselves not you. REMIND yourself if they don’t vibe with you they aren’t your tribe. If you can’t be truely yourself around someone they aren’t the right person for you to be around.

This Fri-YAY I want you to EMBRACE every single little part of you and remind yourself –

Be The Change YOU want to see in the world and Shine Your Light

Free-ed is available for Print Order on October 16th 2017

What’s Stopping You: how to start believing yourself

Everyone’s been there… you really want to achieve this big goal but for some reason you are just not quite ready to take the risk. Something’s holding you back, whether it’s fear, self doubt, negative talk, other people and sometimes the fear that it will go right and your whole life will change – scary stuff right? Because being comfortable is well comfortable. What if you knew that if you took that leap and faced whatever it was that you wanted… imagine how that life would feel like? What if it’s telling someone you love them, or embracing change and moving to a new location, or going for that new job? What is stopping you? I procrastinated for 8 months before eventually taking the leap and moving to London everyone faces fear but here I want to you take the challenge head on. So here is my top 5 tips for getting what you want, when you want it and embracing fear:

  • Identify Your Goal

Identify exactly what it is you want to achieve. Draw a mind map, map it all out, imagine what your life would be like if you achieved it. How accomplished you would feel, how excited you would be. This will create a clear image of exactly where you want to be.

  • Identify your fears

What are your current fears and attitudes towards this. What do you feel is currently stopping you from going for it. Don’t be afraid to write it all out. The more honest with yourself the better and it can be as silly as you think.

  • Create a roadmap

Create a plan of action. How are you going to overcome these fears, how are you going to get to your desired goal. Plan it all out from a – b and any road stops you have in the middle.

  • Tell people about your goal

Honestly it’s sounds scary but if you start telling people you are going to do something by goodness you will ensure you do it. Last year when I started writing my book I started telling everyone because I thought if I don’t I’ll keep putting it off. Then every time you see someone they will ask “oh how is the book going”. Do it, start spreading the word.

  • Put all your intentions towards it

The saying what you think about you bring about. Put positivity out there. Start ensuring you are putting positive vibes on the situation. When you talk to people notice how your voice and persona shows excitement and clarity. Go show the world what you want to show them.

Today I want you to think about something that you feel you are holding back from – grab it with 2 hands and start working towards showing the world.