Growth Mindset

“If we are what we repeatedly do, then excellence is not an act, but a habit”

Aristotle

It’s said to take 10,000 hours to become a master of a skill…. athletes spend hours, weeks, days and months to get to that elite level and hopefully eventually reach their pinnacle performance. Years of behind the scenes, hurdles along the way, ups and downs, months of planning and preperation and YEARS of progressive QUALITY overload to become a master of their trade. The same can be said with a business, as a trainer, as a marketer, as a teacher, it may take thousands of hours and experience to claim yourself as a master. So let’s take a look on the maths of that – 10,000 hours is approximately 417 days. If you devote 3 hours per day it would be approximately 3333 days or a little over 9 years…. are you willing to do that? Or do you give up when it doesn’t all happen straight away? Or try something new and then come back? The all or nothing approach! That’s the problem we face in this day and age – it’s the age that we expect things to happen, we think we are putting in the hard work, but do we actually have the staying power to see it through? I talk about it alot – THE COMPOUND EFFECT. Doing small positive purposeful actions daily will over time create an upward curve. Its like the added up hours of what you have been practicing all of a sudden cumulate and you take that big leap forward. For example let’s take a high jumper. You spend months over your winter training period, doing conditioning work, strength training, loading up plyometrics, improve your power output and elasticity, and also technically working on different cues to get the small wins on your performance. You may spend years, and I mean years working on all the positive small things, for only maybe what seem like the smallest marginal gains. You may of jumped your Personal Best in say 2011, then been working on these small changes, and growth in strength, and technical queues that will enable you to jump higher, then the next year you don’t physically jump higher in competition. You go back into your winter season another gruelling year, then the next summer you see a 1cm increase, you think whats the point? Is all this training worth it, then you remind yourself why you started, you do that winter, and push it to the max and ensure you leave no stone unturned, then all of a sudden you see a 4cm improvement that season, which is the difference between going and not going to a major championship! Imagine you stopped the year earlier in frustration?

What does your best performance look like? This is relatable to all industries and in many areas of your life, whether it’s as an athlete, a dancer, a business owner, a personal trainer, a marketing expert, a life coach….. the list goes on – but being THE best they can be at their chosen discipline looks different from them all but actually the small instrumental methods and techniques you use in the interim to get to your best performance actually don’t differ greatly based on fundamentals.

Growth is hard, because growth means you have to expand, you have to step out of your comfort zone and feel uncomfortable. Growth is where you make progression, improve your business, improve your performance. Growth is learning how to maximise what you are doing by listening, reading, talking and implementing what you Think is the best solution for you. Growth isn’t linear, is isn’t all singing and dancing roses and sunshine. BUT growth is where you will understand how to perform better, interact more efficiently, increase your capacity and adapt to the uncomfortable feeling of being out of the safety zone. Many give up in that zone, because the growth isn’t as easy and as linear as you hoped it would be… so what do you choose? To perform to your best capabilities and grow… or are you content with where you are at?

The choice is yours!

Practice being excellent at where YOU want to excel, and your excellence will become a habit!

Busyness syndrome

Have you ever been that person who has bragged about how busy they were?

Funnily enough I know a lot of us do, and I have been guilty of this in the past to. It’s as if being busy gives us validation for our existence. But let me ask you this? How much happiness has busyness brought you? Let’s be honest most of us at our busiest are under heightened stress, heightened emotions and just physically running off adrenaline until we crash and burn… but thats success right? …..recognise yourself?

Actually typing about this gives me slight anxiety. Busyness to me, was very much a part of my validation. I created busyness and almost chaos which enabled me to hide away from other things, because I was just too busy to have to deal with it. Being busy meant at least to most, came across that I was winning and really successful and proactively improving. Actually for many years, I stood pretty stagnant because I was juggling too many pots. I was over burdening my diary which constantly meant I kept missing things, I felt unfulfilled, panicked, chasing everything, minimising sleep, and eventually ending up in a total burnout… then I kept repeating the pattern. I had a sense that as long as I was busy I was achieving. I actually would frown upon those that weren’t busy, thinking ,”gosh, come on, get up and do something with your life.” Being constantly busy can be somewhat of a status symbol, but all in all it’s mostly hiding underlying route causes. But what are they? What are you afraid to face?

I’ve reflected on this the most during the past 3 months. I actually made a really bold statement that, I panic that I achieved so much in my 20’s i’m scared I won’t achieve the same in my 30’s which makes me cram everything in. I sickeningly would envy those that were more busy than me, and ensure I made myself busier to make myself feel more accomplished – Sad right? Most of you that have known me or followed me for years, the amount I was fitting into my day was sickening! It actually gives me palpitations thinking of it. When I moved to London, all new to the big bright city, I was living off almost only £15 per week food shop. Yep – Mad right! But somehow I managed to actually do it, but to live a live in London, get out and meet people, I had to work extra hours to earn extra pennies, which included my full time job which was commission based and then teaching from 9 – 5 every weekend, plus socialising Thursday – Saturday evenings having a minimised amount of sleep of maybe 3 – 4 hours sleep per evening… and I wondered why my body broke down on me 5 months into Living in London… Sure! Being busy, created stress, but it also enabled me to feel like I had a purpose, so also my mechanism for when stressful periods arose I would then create busyness to deal with the stress adding extra stress, but it didn’t matter because at least I had a purpose…. ever heard of a busy fool? That was me! Hello!

I wanted to write about this as it is something I witness and myself have known and guilty of, and its so prevalent in our day to day society and something I am trying to improve without feeling guilty… constant busyness! How many of you have felt less stressed, more connected to your partner/relationships/family, more fulfilled, skin and bodies feel fresh, and you can actually have time to do some hobbies too since lockdown? Vast majority of most people! Maybe coronavirus was a blessing in our fast paced world thats killing our environment that we need to take more time to be mindful and more connected to whats going on around us. Being busy and over scheduling our diaries is something that can actually have harmful effects on many areas of your life: health, relationships, longevity, mental wellbeing. Maybe it’s time to take a step back and identify why you are creating so much busyness in your life.

Identifying Busyness

A few months back, I had started delving back into self development. I had gone through quite a stressful period at the back end of 2019 that meant I had really started to ramp up my busyness through many means – personal training, appointments, teaching, exercising and also ensuring I gave time to my amazing other half. My days would go like this, wake up at 4.45am, run to Barrys Bootcamp for 6am, Do Barry’s Bootcamp, Go to work for 8am, leave work by 4.30pm, clients/students till 8pm, travel home, cook dinner, spend time with my other half from September, bed by midnight, then repeat, followed by every 2nd weekend teaching courses. This had been consistent from May to end of October. Compounding months of trying to just get through, but stay busy. I had got to the point also if I didn’t have something in my diary, I would panic and book something in. Then alot of the time for social situations i’d be so exhausted from keeping up a front I wouldn’t be able to make it, or i’d only be there in body not spirit. What sort of life is that? Then my body woke me up. I physically couldn’t stay away. I had to take 3 weeks out. 3 weeks!!! I know those that are reading this – it panics me too. But I also realised, I need to stop this trend – being busy is great BUT also you need to appreciate and learn that not doing things is also great too and will benefit you also in the long run. So who wants to beat the feeling of guilt that comes with it all?

How to deal with feeling of guilt if you are not busy

This is something I am still learning, but also something I am greatly aware of. When others have said I am just so busy, my first initial reaction is, “URGHHH shit, I am not doing enough, I need to plan and get a million things done right at once,” then I take a moment to breathe and remind myself that, there’s no point being a busy fool. How do I deal with it: write out the things I would be happy to achieve today. Put end dates on things, and prioritise in those orders, rather than promising everything for that moment, within a couple of hours. I also put a priority on things I know make me feel accomplished such as running, so that needs to be a priority in my day – so how do I start every morning – doing exercise. Then I set myself the task to not sit at my desk before 8.30 and when I do I spend my first 10 minutes just going through my task list and picking out the things that need to be done that day, but not over burdening with 2 page worths of MUST DO NOW. The overall result – achieving so much more, feel happier, look happier, eat better, sleep better – okay who doesn’t want that?

So if you recognise yourself in the above, I want you to give yourself permission to slow down, relax and enjoy your life a little more. This is harder than it seems, especially if you are someone who is heavily involved with social media. Make a commitment to being more intentional in your life regarding your efforts, and choosing what you want to be a part of is crucial. You will also need to find your inner “no” and become comfortable with the idea that you don’t have to be part of everything, you are not the only one who can do things, and people won’t think less of you for choosing to sit something out.

What I want you to take away from this. It is okay to enjoy life, in-fact its more than okay! It’s EXCELLENT and life is there to be enjoyed and also work hard, BUT don’t compromise your livelihood and longevity by chucking away these years and being super busy all the time. Slow down a little, try and save more AND by saving more, means you can actually take more breaks and get aways. You are here for the long run, sometimes you need to be kind to yourself as well as pushing yourself and you make life the best experience it can be… don’t let years pass without finding happiness in your day to day. Life is for living.

Would you rather turn round at 90 and say, “I can’t believe I did that” or “I wish I did that”. It’s time to embrace balance and know that it’s okay to give yourself permission to switch off.

All my love,

Jayne x

30 things I’ve learnt being 30

So with less than a month till I’m no longer just 30, I was doing a little bit of reflection and I thought id type a little blog about some of my lessons this year. I was going to do as a video… but I’ve run out of time to edit soooooo here we go with a blog – I may video for release on my 31st…. OMG 31! I was reflecting over the last year over the weekend and how much has changed in my life and lessons I have learnt. It’s crazy when you look at it how much you can grow as a person in a year so here’s a little insight:

30 things I’ve learnt being 30:

  1. age is definitely just a number – you don’t feel any different all you might do is just adjust your outlook on a few things to remind yourself your not 21 anymore 😁
  2. Being single is okay!! Especially in London. I remember leading into my 30th I felt this massive pressure to be in a relationship again and I was panicking and thinking oh shit.
  3. 30 is definitely the new 20! It’s been the first year I’ve really started to feel I’ve come into my own person and own that. You stop worrying about all the other stuff that used to cause you upset and remove it.
  4. You can just keep improving your fitness. This year I have probably become the fittest I have ever been in my life even more so than when i was an athlete – just all rounded and not lost any strength.
  5. Real friendships last no matter the distance and miles. I think we get older, friends start to marry off, move away but the ones that are real are always there. I do not miss the days of being a teen and having to go through all the girl bullshit we all did when we were at school.
  6. You only live once so eat the cake, drink the wine and actually live your life – it won’t have that much impact on you if you do everything in balance.
  7. Don’t take life so seriously: in my 20s I was so focused on being an elite athlete I took EVERY element of my life so seriously including sleep. Having a couple of nights where you maybe stay out later is actually good for your soul.
  8. Happiness doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It’s being perfectly happy and accepting what you have while striving to improve.
  9. Laugh more with people you love
  10. Consistency over volume. I read an article the other day actually which backed this up. As you get older consistency is more of the key rather than caning your body all the time!!
  11. Nightclubs are not for me hahaha I used to force myself to go out to clubs and this year I sort of realised crowded dark rooms are not fun for me. In my 18s-30 I barely went clubbing because I was training pretty much full time and in long term relationship. I much prefer drinks and dinner or a boozy brunch and in bed by 12 haha and that’s okay 😁
  12. Trust needs to be earnt
  13. You don’t need to have it al together. I think at 30 you feel is an anticipation you need to have it all together… it’s okay everyday is a journey.
  14. Being yourself is the best thing you can be and it’s the most attractive thing you can do. You will only attract people into your life who get you rather than moulding yourself to fit it (it will never work)
  15. I enjoy and thrive of being busy. I used to get stick all the time about being busy but I actually thrive of it. I spent time trying to strip life back and I hated it. You gotta do what works for you.
  16. Your never too old to just have fun…. dance in the rain, jump in the sea… you are only as young as you feel
  17. Others people’s judgements of you are definitely their judgement and insecurities. Take everything with a pinch of salt and move forward
  18. Heart break does get easier…. emotions are temporary and the feeling will pass
  19. You don’t need to be married, want to have kids right now or even be in a relationship… it doesn’t define you
  20. Time on your own is amazing. Never be afraid to travel and escape on your own. I’ve found these trips some of my most creative and productive in spending time working out what I want and who I am.
  21. Life is definitely better when you are laughing so make sure you take time every day and week to do something that makes your heart smile.
  22. You need to live more present in your life. Put your phone away in social situations and just live in the moment.
  23. Stop worrying about finding the right person, the right job, having the right body. Just be you and you will attract the right things in.
  24. Mistakes and hurt are genuinely just lessons that help you grow.
  25. Being kind hearted doesn’t make you week it makes you extremely strong
  26. Everybody has a story that you might not know about spend time trying to understand what they are going through rather than thinking it as a judgement of yourself.
  27. Creating busyness doesn’t mean productivity: learning to stop creating busyness and start being productive and accepting that rest is good
  28. You will always be enough for the right person
  29. Your smile and mindset has the power to influence, change and help others make a change. By sharing your story and by standing up it is helping others even when you doubt it is.
  30. Life is too short to live in regret, fear or anger. So forgive, face your fears and let go of anger. Focus on what makes you happy and rock it 😉

Becoming Human

That process, sometimes where you need to lose yourself. To allow yourself to feel out of control and go with the flow. Something that comes very unnaturally for me. It’s been almost 5 years since retiring as an “athlete” and I still reminisce in those days and what they meant and how they shaped me as a person. Creating my superhuman thinking, that I can achieve and be anyone I want to be. What we struggle with transitioning into “normal” life is a change of identity from one life to another life. It’s a moment a lot of us get lost, but it’s the time to get lost and explore and start the next chapter of whom you are becoming. I know I have struggled to leave that identity behind me, and I still find myself beating myself up if I miss a session or if I eat badly and drink too much. As usual the athlete mindset of perfectionism towards areas of control can kick in and everything can get too much where you step back and reevaluate. It’s a process of trial and error, in all areas, work, relationships, pressures and friendships.

 

For me I made a massive life move to London 2 years ago and it has turned out to be the most adventurous and best move I have made. For the first time in years I feel like I belong again. I have a social life that keeps me happy, a fitness life that keeps my body and my mind fresh and currently work that I absolutely adore. But it’s been a major process… a long old process which you can still at times beat yourself up about. I can find myself judging my life against others and angered at myself I am not at different life phases BUT then I remember I need to breathe and look at what I focused my life in my 20’s on instead. If you are currently struggling to find your human, I want to tell you it’s a journey and its a process. It’s a constantly process of learning and understanding you, as truly you, naked, stripped and as nature intended, taking a deep step into your soul and asking what truly makes you happy.

 

Everyone has an opportunity to change their life in the blink of a moment but so many of us are going through life with our eyes closed – OPEN THEM! You might miss your opportunities that are right In front of you. Why I am writing this? I get a lot of you messaging me regarding how in control I am, busy and focused and how do I stay so positive all the time…. ? True answer is because I am learning to trust the process. The heart aches, the let downs,  the mistakes, the failures, the sad days, the positive, the proud moments, the anxieties I sometimes I feel, the friendships I make daily, the people that pass through life, they are all there for a reason, to help shape you… EMBRACE THEM. They are either a lesson or a blessing, follow your gut instincts and lead with your heart and open your mind to the possibility that all of us are struggling in some ways. The key being: how do you look at the outcome? The positive happy people are the ones who look at everything with opportunity to grow and learn. It doesn’t mean we don’t have down days, we have just learnt how to use them positively. Always bounce back, and always learn. Take your time out to tune into you,  and when you are ready…. become your human – your raw, unapologetically beyoutiful you! Welcome back to my Blogs… all my love Jayne xxxIMG_2871.JPG

Breaking Your Thoughts…

January provides a month where a lot of individuals re analyse their lives, what makes them happy, what do they want and what do they want to achieve. After such big breakthroughs in life for me in 2017, I have felt an immense amount of pressure to keep pushing – which excites me as I feel the effect of the compound effect of positive mental attitude, but recently I have spent a lot of time reflecting on how do I help others achieve that compound effect, how do I encourage and motivate individuals who really are struggling to see the light and enable them to break out the mould of their negative habits. We all have bad/negative habits, BUT after presenting at Scottish Athletics seminar on Eating Disorders last night with such an amazing turn out and listening to Louise Capicotto it really sparked some deep thoughts. So many of us battle thoughts, WE ALL do… but only a handful know how to really deal with their emotions in a positive manner and understand themselves and their own self needs. I have been reading the book, “Quiet” by Susan Cain divulging into the world of introverts and the power of introverts. How difficult is it being an introvert in an extroverted world? We are all expected to be this specific way to be successful – Lawyers, bankers, stock traders, business men, BUT some of the worlds most successful people are those who are introverts. An introvert are sometimes viewed as weird, BUT what if you had the balance correct. Walking away from last nights presentation made me realise a lot of things:

  • You Can Achieve Anything You Decide You Want To Do
    • As I was talking through my experiences last night, this was the first time I have been brutally honest about some of my experiences and lows. 9 years ago I tried to kill myself because I couldn’t handle the demon in my head called bulimia. I was so LOW, I had no esteem, no drive, I had completely lost who I was, my worth, where I was, what I wanted, who I wanted to be, I just wanted this illness taken away from me. I couldn’t see escape, and I thought the only escape was to go. As a bulimic sufferer, unlike anorexia you hide your illness, you look relatively normal weight, can put on a front, hide away socially, physically and emotionally. You learn to shut people out, even the closest to you. I spent days and weeks where I only left my bed after I had starved myself for days to eat, which I knew would start the next cycle. I want to tell you WHATEVER your stage of recovery – YOU can get back to a fully functioning normal life. You CAN believe in yourself again, you just need to keep working on it, you need to keep reminding yourself YOU are worth it. I have days still now here and then where I am so low I want the world to disappear, BUT what I have realised is that these days are few and far between, and it is mostly due to the fact that one of the personality traits of an ED sufferer is OCD and Perfectionism. I have spent, and still spend time daily working on my mindset and strength to ensure I am fully functioning. It is something I will never be able to stop doing because I always want to keep improving and growing and being a better human being to help others become happier and healthier too. Last night I stood up in front of a room of nearly 100 people to speak with confidence, and happiness about my experiences in a positive light. Listening to Louise also helps prove that There is a light at the end of the tunnel YOU need to keep going, because I promise you that it is worth it. One step at a time. Don’t beat yourself up at a set back, just refocus, regain your thoughts and start moving forward again. At times last night my anxiety started to take over as I was speaking at the thought of, “I am setting myself up for complete judgement” and thoughts running through my head at points were, “everyone thinks I’m a joke” and “I am not good enough to be up here” BUT I have learnt to shut out my chimp! That voice that negatively talks me down – YOU can do that too, the thoughts may be there but it’s learning how to destroy them and prove them wrong.

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      Glasgow 2014 CWG QUALF
  • The Power Of Others Emotions and Words
    • How many times have you taken a moment to think about your emotional affect on someone else? It is something I am very very conscious about, but its something a lot of people do not think about or care about. I have written a couple blogs that touch on this topic and an instagram live feed. The power of others negative impact on your thoughts. How many times have you walked into a room and put that negative emotion onto the others in the room? If I ever do that, the next best thing I do is apologise straight away and try to create a positive impact. How many times have you thought about the power of your words? I spoke last night about unveiling in counselling sessions some of my triggers from back when I was a child. I speak about in my book an incident from back when I was 6 year olds, that sparked the trigger of embarrassment for not being good enough. When I was 8, upon being left out of a group I was called Fat, at 10 a passing comment from a parent which was overheard by a friend about potentially being ill (anorexic) was passed onto me from a friend again only 10 neither of us understanding what it meant because I was super skinny “far too skinny”. Sometimes you don’t realise the power of what you say and the affect that has on your subconscious mind. This is why the phrase be kind always is so important. Girls especially are terrible, I would never want to go through my teenage years ever again, BUT now guys are becoming increasingly worse. WE ALL NEED TO STOP TEARING EACH OTHER DOWN –  WE NEED TO START BUILDING EACH OTHER UP. What makes someone more important than the next person? NOTHING! We are all equal in our own right. Lets start creating that environment for the youth of today to grow and love instead of tearing each other down. This starts from adults now – our generation the generation before us – WE SET THE PRECEDENT! Which is why I am so privileged and grateful to have the opportunities I have now to help change the future for our youth. IMG_2297-1
  • Admission is NOT weakness it is STRENGTH 
    • Admission is not a weakness it is a strength. It takes some guts to admit, “I have a problem” NO MATTER WHAT it is: Addiction, mental health, medical issues, eating disorders, disabilities, there is nothing to be ashamed off. One of the key purposes of speaking out was to help others realise, Yes I have had an Eating Disorder and do you know what No I am not ashamed of it. It is something that defined me for so long, but IT no longer will define me, it helped me redefine myself, it has catapulted me to really learn who I am, it has enabled me to see what serious depression is in and made me realise how fortunate I am to have made it through, to see light in each day and have the opportunity to help others to see that you can break through. Every struggle you go through is a lesson, a lesson for you to grow, and understand who you are better. I am not saying it will be easy, BY GOSH it will take hard work, a lot of HARD work, but how much do you want to live a normal life again? How much do you want to see the light? How much do you want to laugh and smile at the sun rising in the morning, to smile at the beauty of the world, see the light and hope in others around you and see the good in what everyone is trying to do for you and help others understand how to be kinder and happier.  Admission is the first step to saying, “I am strong”, “I want a better life”, “I deserve to be happy” and YOU DO! I want you to know that you are not alone. Admission is a lonely phase, it can be isolating and scary, its the steps that you know you can’t back out, you have a stamp on your forehead, BUT you are not alone. We are here for you, and we are here to help you see the light. Speak out, reach out and allow yourself to live yourself again, overtime, you will see it is worth it. Don’t let your demons define you – Lets rise up and burn your flame so bright. IMG_1296

“Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world”

Roald Dahl

I AM  – The Two Most Powerful Words You are Going to use:
I am POWERFUL
I am BEYOUTIFUL
I am WORTHY
I am READY
I am A WARRIOR
I am GOING TO CHANGE MY LIFE

* I believe in you – I want you to believe in you too *

Get Your Copy Of Free-ed on Amazon

With Love

J

xxx

Jayne is available for Transformational speaking engagements and Event Hosting.

Contact pa@beyoutiful-u.co.uk for information

Your Attitude Changes Your Direction

Attitudes? What are they? What do they represent? Why do we have them? Have you ever heard of the saying,” if you don’t like something change it, if you can’t change it change your attitude”. I spoke briefly about attitudes on Monday on my live insta feed and how we can identify our attitudes and how we can change them… but I want to go into a little more depth. I want to help YOU change your mind and your life. I want to help inspire you, motivate and educate you to realise and understand that you have the power to do whatever you set your mind too. All it takes is a change in attitude. An attitude is what we think, what we do and how we feel. this can be in regards to a situation, a person, or a hobbie, or anything that makes you think, do or feel. FOR example: some people have a bad attitude towards relationships, this is normally learnt from experience of a bad relationship and having negative connotations towards any relaltionship they step into, they automatically expect the next relationship to be the same… why? Because most people end relationships, don’ t spend the time to reflect and understand why it didn’t work, before quickly moving onto the next situation… with the same attitude… and the cycle continues. One bad experience, after another, and another and another leads too: negative outcome, negative attitude. In order to change your attitudes – we need to change our behaviours – which means we need to look at our current situation and what our desired situation would be – this is called ecology checking (looking at our behavioural impact on our attitudes).

How do we change our behaviours?

You have come to this point right now – even I am assuming from those reading where you just think: I wan’t more than this. I deserve more than this. Why am I not getting more than this? One of my favouritie universal Authors Dr Steve DeMartini talks about your thoughts become things – what you think about you bring about. Therefore same is with behaviours we need to start looking at how we act is what we attract into our lives. First thing I want you to do is think about the behaviours you portray? What behaviours do you like? What behaviours do you not like so much? What behaviours do YOU want to change to be the person YOU want to portray?

For example: Jayne August 2016

What behaviours did I portray?

  • Low Confidence in my ideas
  • Low body esteem
  • My attitude towards myself was that I wasn’t good enough
  • My behaviours were I was afraid that everyone around me hated me
  • I actually 14 months ago sent an urgent email to MIND.org as I was in a mental place again where I didn’t want to be here. I had lost my focus, my goals, what I wanted to do with life, trapped, alone, and misunderstood – VERY misunderstood. I felt like everyone around me would be better off without me there and I was just an annoyance to peoples lives, I had started to allow others behaviours to affect me. UNTIL I took a step back and thought… why are you doing this to yourself again?

I picked up a book the Slight Edge and honestly started to revolutionise my life. I have so many people contacting me, commenting on my positivity, change in mindset and outlook. I took a step back and literally went into a social recluse. I removed myself entirely because I knew I had to reinvent myself. I dived fully into work, self development and writing my book, because I knew I wasn’t getting the best out of myself. These behaviours and attitudes didn’t change overnight. They took months of persistence, determination and focus. I started with my focus being part of the “5am Club” which Robin Sharma talks about loads. I then started reading every day – every morning for the first 30 minutes of my day I would do learning. It focused my mind and made me alert for the day ahead. From here I stayed focused on what worked best for me. Social situations I would take part if they worked best for me, because I had got myself into the habit of completely forgetting about my goals, my wants, my needs and put everyone else first. But unless you are looking after number 1 how can you support others? I took a big step forward and day by day I started to feel myself grow. Spritually, emotionally, stance and becoming the woman I wanted to become. I desired so badly to be this radiant positive person who could help others believe in themselves and help make an impact to positively improve the world. (I am still working on this) but my mission is to look after number 1 and use how I deal with my imperfections to help change peoples outlook – I am a coach, a speaker and a people person. What I have done for the last 10 years is help develop and manage people to change their perspective and outlook on fitness and their priorities. I had all my basis there, I just wasnt implementing it. So lets look at some NLP: Neuro Linguistic Programming – How we are going to change your behavioural competencies. Lets start with future pacing today. Your mental rehersal of what you could achieve and what you want to achieve (what you think about you bring about).

What is your desired outcome?
What do you want? What would you like to happen?

What values do you associate to this outcome?
What is important about it to you? How will it benefit you?

What evidence will you need to know that you have achieved this outcome?
How will you know when you’ve got it? How will others know? What will you and others see?

What’s your current responsibilities to achieve and your barriers?
what has stopped you so far from achieving your outcome? What will you have to do differently?

What will your ecology check and positive intervention come of it?
What impact will this outcome have on your life? Work? People around you?
Are you sure you want it?
Are there any positive by products by staying the way you are now?

Future Pacing
Take a moment to float off 5 years in to the future and look back from then. What was the first steps you needed to take towards acheiving your desired outcome?

Take 15 – 20 minutes to complete this exercise – Email me your results and ideas:
jayne@beyoutiful-u.co.uk

 

Undeniably You

Sorry guys I haven’t blogged in a few weeks it’s been mega busy BUT I am back! Touching on the topic of being undeniably you! We all get so caught up in being the person we think everyone else wants us to be that sometimes we forget who we are and what we want. On the flip side conversations I’ve had with so many people since releasing my book about perceptions of being scared of getting hurt and automatically assuming someone is going to hurt you because you act a specific way. I won’t deny that I have been guilty of automatically assuming as soon as someone gets to know me that they will automatically end up hurting me because that’s what’s happened in the past. I have spent so much time over the past 12 months working on my ability to not panic and accept if someone doesn’t accept you for you then it’s okay. It means that that person isn’t your person and that’s okay, it isn’t a reflection of you at all, it is just you don’t vibe at the same level. Everyone at some level panics. Goodness I was speaking to one of my students last week and she was asking for help in confidence as I seem so strong. I explained I have learnt to be this way through putting myself out there, facing rejection, gaining strength and really learning to workout who I am and what I want. Knowing what you bring to the table is so vital if you want to attract in what you want. I have the issue that I am an incredibly strong personality but I also have this incredible sincere and caring side and sometimes when someone gets close that side of me petrifies the other person because I have a very diverse personality. So what I am bringing to you tonight is to say let’s start being undeniably you. Your complete self – expressing you as you as how you love and want to be! Then you can start attracting in the right people to your life that are going to lift you higher and help you realise how amazing you are. Here are my top 3 tips to start learning and discovering you:

Reflection:

Ive spoken a lot about reflection in the past but it really is vital to enable you to grow as a person. If you aren’t reflecting daily how can you expect to grow? Reflecting on your day- things that made you feel good. Things that made you feel sad, things you achieved, things you are proud of, situations and scenery that you found beauty it. It is usually the simple things that make you smile the most. Notice the places you were and the people you were with.

Discovery:

Most people never take time to indulge in self discovery. Put yourself in situations that challenge your comfort zones. See how you react. Tackle your biggest fears and step up your game. If you want to travel get out there and do it. If you want to learn a new skill – sign up to the course – firstly you never know who you might meet. By challenging your comfort zone and putting yourself into places you want to be you will attract the right people into your life.

Intuition:

Honestly intuition is key to your life. But your intuition can’t be in tune if you aren’t implementing the first 2 steps. Meditation, self development, reflection, discovery and fulfilment all help you tap into your intuition. Intuition is your strongest asset. Start learning to listen to you and not what everyone else says. Trust your self, be yourself and learn to be undeniably you 💜

Free-ed is Available Now

This week has been mental health awareness week with world mental health awareness day. Do you know someone who is affected by mental health? Whether for you or someone else please share this post and let’s help people talk and get the help they need. 💜

Free-ed purpose.

Too many girls, boys, adults out there suffer from severe issues within mental health. Free-ed purpose is to take away the interim step before you get help. It is a book where I hope I can help people unravel a few demons and take the next steps to rebuild their lives. Everybody deserves great things and everyone has a mission in life – just sometimes we get a bit side tracked. In sport I hope I can bridge the gap between up and coming athletes and the elite level. A lot of athletes don’t make it to the top because their isn’t support for them in the interim phases, and hopefully help and reduce the image distortion of perfection in the younger generation. Being YOURself is perfection. Being happy and comfortable in YOU is perfection, being able to say I love what I bring to the table is perfection. We are ALL perfect in our own way through just being us. But we all forget it picking up minuscule things about what we hate about ourselves day to day. Learn to love yourself, fuel yourself well, nourish and take care of your body because then your mental side will reward you.

https://jaynenisbet.files.wordpress.com/2017/10/1080p-6.mov

What is free-ed about:

Free-ed is an insight into my journey from my lowest points and admission of an eating disorder and a self help and self discovery step by step guide implementing my experiences for someone else in the same position to use to help them gain clarity and gain the confidence to refind themselves. My favourite chapter is chapter 6 redefine yourself and rise up which really focuses on what I feel is the key elements of the book. Mental health issues are something that is widely talked about in the press and media now as our lives get busier, more demanding and stressful so does the number of mental health problems, With youngsters growing up into a world where perfection is constantly strived towards. Life is now very demanding for everyone which is causing more than 70 million sick days per year in the UK ALONE! In terms of eating disorders 1.6 MILLION people are affected per year and thats only of the ones that actually go and admit they have a problem. Eating disorders are described as The Silent Illness a blog I wrote early this year. My mission with free-ed is to remove this stimulus around it all and help others be able to speak out and not be embarrassed. This links into with a new social media movement I am creating called beYOUtiful u. You can see this on my business cards and find out more about it in the next coming weeks.

My Journey:

My Journey to recovery started in 2009. I realised and admitted I had developed an eating disorder. Not easy for anyone to admit, but from this point on I was determined to turn my life around and made sure I was being the best version of

myself. Sounds so easy wri:ng it down, but crea:ng it is not so much – It has been a crazy journey, unless you are really willing to make that change, and all it takes are a few small changes step by step, day by day to create a version of yourself that you are happy with, believe in and can look in the mirror and know who you are looking at. For a long period of time I did not know who that person was in the mirror. They looked blank, transparent and unrecognisable. I embarked on a journey to not describe the person looking back at me but knowing the person looking back at me was who I wanted to be and

therefore; Creating my best version.

My obsession and ultimate issue was not food but my drive for perfection – for EVERY single liWle detail of my life, of me of how people viewed me needed to be perfect. OCD was a strong trait of mind finalising down the smallest detail food tracking, diary management and training. 2009 was my final year at university and was an extremely stressful :me, which coincided with a rela:onship ending (s:ll to find a man to :e me down) and a massive life move (these seem to be a big part of my life) and this started a downward spiral for me. I became bulimic in April 2009 – up until this point I just had very controlled and destructie eati habits. August 2009 was the start of the most destructive part of my life. In October 2009, aaer a destructie morning, I felt I was losing the plot, I broke down and phoned a friend to admit I had an eating problem and we booked an appointment with the doctor. I could barely pull myself out of bed in the morning, and if I did my day would end about 2 hours later. I felt completely lost and completely out of control. At my worst I barely wanted to leave the house. From September 2009 until March 2010 my bulimia became worse than it had ever was. To me because I had admiWed it, it seemed to be acceptable for me to just carry on rather than actually physically doing anything about it. I was placed on a waiting list for behavioural treatment but I couldn’t handle the wait and used Beats online materials for support to create a plan. In May 2010 my Commonwealth dreams were over. I had developed tendonitis in my knees and was completely lost as to where I was going. I decided to stop high jumping but by leaving my sport behind I lea a piece of my identity behind too. I didn’t know what I was doing with my life, where I was going, who I was going to be, how I was going to feel. I used this feeling to spur me on to recover – I wanted more than anything at this point to be the best person I could be. I started by addressing what made me happy, how I could get my story across, how I could inspire other people, let them know that others suffering could win this fight. In October 2010 everyone headed out to the Commonwealth Games in Delhi at this point I made a promise to myself – I WAS going to overcome my ea:ng issues and be going for a medal by the :me Glasgow 2014 came around. The first step was by addressing what would make me happy, happiness would be the key thing for me to overcome everything. A massive journey of self discovery, ups and downs, highlights and extreme lows would unfold over the next 5 years BUT the key outcome and the key difference was EVERYTHING that happened in that period would make a stronger, more confident and beWer person. I set myself training targets; I worked my way through life day-to-day, week-to-week, building a personal training business and gaining confidence everyday. My business was a massive help in my recovery, not only did it force me out of bed because I had to generate money, but through communica:ng with others and being a role model for clients it really pushed me to get myself beWer. In 2012 I eventually had the confidence to speak to someone to really pull me through the other side – I worked with a psychotherapist from 2012 – 2014, working on confidence and my rela:onship with myself and food, My biggest issue was my relationship with myself. Through a couple of set backs along the way between 2012 and 2014 my strength I had learnt along the way always made me refocus my life and my goals to ensure I stayed on the right track. On August 1st 2014 I stepped out to represent my country at the commonwealth games high jump final – the proudest moment in my life. Not only because of the occasion but for what it represented to me and those close to me – I had beaten my demon, I had managed to turn my life around and work through everything to achieve a life goal. And I stand today knowing than I stand true to myself through everything. I worked hard every day to get through to the other side, I have competed in the commonwealth games and now I am moving forward with other aspects of my life – work and business.

https://jaynenisbet.files.wordpress.com/2017/10/trim_a8f008ec-3dc8-4cb6-86bc-e76292c07013.mov

What’s next for me?

Free-ed is the first step of the next step of my journey. I hope that my story can help and inspire others out there to achieve their goals and their dreams – there is a light, reach out, grab it and discover your best version. The BeYOUtiful u movement is about helping females especially learn to love themselves being completely them. No matter what is said about you, comments, feelings and doubts you have, you can learn to be beyoutifully you. My journey and sole purpose in life is to help and inspire through challenges I set myself. A defini:on of the say be the change you want to see in the world. Each and every day people face struggles, and don’t know how to cope, and I am here to say thats okay. It is okay to admit that life is hard. It is okay to admit that things aren’t okay – talking about opening up about it will help you be able to deal with

everything. If you are reading this post please tag with this hashtag: it’s good to talk #beyoutifulwarrior

Free-ED is available now on amazon here.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1910662445/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1508024368&sr=1-2&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=Jayne+Nisbet&dpPl=1&dpID=41bveNVuHHL&ref=plSrch

Let’s BEAT Mental Health

This week has been mental health awareness week with world mental health awareness day. Do you know someone who is affected by mental health?

Free-ed purpose.

Too many girls, boys, adults out there suffer from severe issues within mental health. Free-ed purpose is to take away the interim step before you get help. It is a book where I hope I can help people unravel a few demons and take the next steps to rebuild their lives. Everybody deserves great things and everyone has a mission in life – just sometimes we get a bit side tracked. In sport I hope I can bridge the gap between up and coming athletes and the elite level. A lot of athletes don’t make it to the top because their isn’t support for them in the interim phases, and hopefully help and reduce the image distortion of perfection in the younger genera:on. Being YOURself is perfection. Being happy and comfortable in YOU is perfection, being able to say I love what I bring to the table is perfection. We are ALL perfect in our own way through just being us. But we all forget it picking up minuscule things about what we hate about ourselves day to day. Learn to love yourself, fuel yourself well, nourish and take care of your body because then your mental side will reward you.

What is free-ed about:

Free-ed is an insight into my journey from my lowest points and admission of an eating disorder and a self help and self discovery step by step guide implementing my experiences for someone else in the same position to use to help them gain clarity and gain the confidence to refind themselves. My favourite chapter is chapter 6 redefine yourself and rise up which really focuses on what I feel is the key elements of the book. Mental health issues are something that is widely talked about in the press and media now as our lives get busier, more demanding and stressful so does the number of mental health problems, With youngsters growing up into a world where perfec:on is constantly strived towards. Life is now very demanding for everyone which is causing more than 70 million sick days per year in the UK ALONE! In terms of eating disorders 1.6 MILLION people are affected per year and thats only of the ones that actually go and admit they have a problem. Ea:ng disorders are described as The Silent Illness a blog I wrote early this year. My mission with free-ed is to remove this stimulus around it all and help others be able to speak out and not be embarrassed. This links into with a new social media movement I am creating called beYOUtiful u. You can see this on my business cards and find out more about it in the next coming weeks.

My Journey:

My Journey to recovery started in 2009. I realised and admitted I had developed an eating disorder. Not easy for anyone to admit, but from this point on I was determined to turn my life around and made sure I was being the best version of

myself. Sounds so easy wri:ng it down, but crea:ng it is not so much – It has been a crazy journey, unless you are really willing to make that change, and all it takes are a few small changes step by step, day by day to create a version of yourself that you are happy with, believe in and can look in the mirror and know who you are looking at. For a long period of time I did not know who that person was in the mirror. They looked blank, transparent and unrecognisable. I embarked on a journey to not describe the person looking back at me but knowing the person looking back at me was who I wanted to be and

therefore; Creating my best version.

My obsession and ultimate issue was not food but my drive for perfection – for EVERY single liWle detail of my life, of me of how people viewed me needed to be perfect. OCD was a strong trait of mind finalising down the smallest detail food tracking, diary management and training. 2009 was my final year at university and was an extremely stressful :me, which coincided with a rela:onship ending (s:ll to find a man to :e me down) and a massive life move (these seem to be a big part of my life) and this started a downward spiral for me. I became bulimic in April 2009 – up un:l this point I just had very controlled and destruc:ve ea:ng habits. August 2009 was the start of the most destruc:ve part of my life. In October 2009, aaer a destruc:ve morning, I felt I was losing the plot, I broke down and phoned a friend to admit I had an ea:ng problem and we booked an appointment with the doctor. I could barely pull myself out of bed in the morning, and if I did my day would end about 2 hours later. I felt completely lost and completely out of control. At my worst I barely wanted to leave the house. From September 2009 until March 2010 my bulimia became worse than it had ever was. To me because I had admiWed it, it seemed to be acceptable for me to just carry on rather than actually physically doing anything about it. I was placed on a wai:ng list for behavioural treatment but I couldn’t handle the wait and used Beats online materials for support to create a plan. In May 2010 my Commonwealth dreams were over. I had developed tendoni:s in my knees and was completely lost as to where I was going. I decided to stop high jumping but by leaving my sport behind I lea a piece of my iden:ty behind too. I didn’t know what I was doing with my life, where I was going, who I was going to be, how I was going to feel. I used this feeling to spur me on to recover – I wanted more than anything at this point to be the best person I could be. I started by addressing what made me happy, how I could get my story across, how I could inspire other people, let them know that others suffering could win this fight. In October 2010 everyone headed out to the Commonwealth Games in Delhi at this point I made a promise to myself – I WAS going to overcome my ea:ng issues and be going for a medal by the :me Glasgow 2014 came around. The first step was by addressing what would make me happy, happiness would be the key thing for me to overcome everything. A massive journey of self discovery, ups and downs, highlights and extreme lows would unfold over the next 5 years BUT the key outcome and the key difference was EVERYTHING that happened in that period would make a stronger, more confident and beWer person. I set myself training targets; I worked my way through life day-to-day, week-to-week, building a personal training business and gaining confidence everyday. My business was a massive help in my recovery, not only did it force me out of bed because I had to generate money, but through communica:ng with others and being a role model for clients it really pushed me to get myself beWer. In 2012 I eventually had the confidence to speak to someone to really pull me through the other side – I worked with a psychotherapist from 2012 – 2014, working on confidence and my rela:onship with myself and food, My biggest issue was my relationship with myself. Through a couple of set backs along the way between 2012 and 2014 my strength I had learnt along the way always made me refocus my life and my goals to ensure I stayed on the right track. On August 1st 2014 I stepped out to represent my country at the commonwealth games high jump final – the proudest moment in my life. Not only because of the occasion but for what it represented to me and those close to me – I had beaten my demon, I had managed to turn my life around and work through everything to achieve a life goal. And I stand today knowing than I stand true to myself through everything. I worked hard every day to get through to the other side, I have competed in the commonwealth games and now I am moving forward with other aspects of my life – work and business.

Free-ED is available now on amazon here.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1910662445/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1508024368&sr=1-2&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=Jayne+Nisbet&dpPl=1&dpID=41bveNVuHHL&ref=plSrch