Stop Chasing The Waves

Yes… ME! Learning to let the waves come to me and not chase them! Meaning I need to learn to be patient… and learn to stop time incase I miss things. Life is so precious and we spend so much time chasing things… Career Success, Love, Money, Glory, Image, Perfection – how often do you take time to just be in the moment? How often have you been impatient and its caused things to break down, or you have missed a vital piece of information, or been misinformed because you haven’t waited for the whole picture before jumping to conclusions? How often have you wanted the answers NOW and not waited for them to find you? Yes I am guilty of all the above. Of putting career before relationships. Of chasing perfection rather than embracing what I have. For fearing hurt/abandonment and jumping to conclusions in relationships. None of us are perfect but what we can is recognise these things. Take time to just watch the waves.

Take time to allow the waves to come to you, see the full picture, understand the process. Work on what you love while you do it… learn to embrace you and your time. Be alone in your head and it not be scary. Embrace your space, laugh with your friends, worry less live more! Work hard but remember that you need to play too. Be brave enough to be vulnerable, be brave to trust what your gut is saying without jeopardising your worth. Be brave to say you are worth the wait to achieve great things, but you have to go through process. There is no short cuts, so stop chasing the waves. They eventually reach the shore in a calm, beautiful manor!


So for now… laugh in the confusion, embrace the moments, live your life, but still visualise your dreams. Be patient in the process and dance your way to happiness, all in the knowing that the waves will eventually reach the shore, in the right time, in the right moment exactly the way it was meant to be.

All my Love

Jayne xxxx

You Were Born to Be Real Not Perfect


Are you a sufferer of perfectionism? I know I am! Something I battle on a day to day basis. From striving to be a top 2%er and striving for excellence in everything (work, life, friendships, relationship) I have to try and not allow my mind to overthink it, over plan it and overanalyse everything. Sitting writing this as my flight Is delayed in the airport for a solo escape to get some rejuvenation and refresh my mind and body. We can be a nightmare to live with or be friends with. My major level of perfectionism is planning everything down to smallest T. I hate starting my day without a plan. Plans keep me motivated, keep me regimented and keep me on time! But from time to time we mess it up, the plan doesn’t happen, you have a rough day, you feel not so positive, but what do you do? You bounce back – usually with massive vengeance. I struggle sometimes to embrace when times are a bit tougher or I am hurting… mostly due to the fact that I like to be that beacon, that hope, that light and positive smile. You can inspire more people by being real and sharing you experiences than pretending it is all okay. I love this phrase above, you were born to be real, not to be perfect. So here is me being real. I am taking a few days out from life to get my soul right and rest my head and heart. Ill be back bigger and better with a fresh outlook, positive mindset and renewed energy! It’s okay to admit it and it’s okay to take a step back and put yourself first.

If you are struggling at the moment to find calm within you. It is okay to just be real. Speak about it, talk it through, write it down, ride the waves of emotions and remember to take time for you. Take time out to remember who you are, what you need and how you can keep a smile on your face.

Lots of love

Jayne xxx

Breaking Your Thoughts…

January provides a month where a lot of individuals re analyse their lives, what makes them happy, what do they want and what do they want to achieve. After such big breakthroughs in life for me in 2017, I have felt an immense amount of pressure to keep pushing – which excites me as I feel the effect of the compound effect of positive mental attitude, but recently I have spent a lot of time reflecting on how do I help others achieve that compound effect, how do I encourage and motivate individuals who really are struggling to see the light and enable them to break out the mould of their negative habits. We all have bad/negative habits, BUT after presenting at Scottish Athletics seminar on Eating Disorders last night with such an amazing turn out and listening to Louise Capicotto it really sparked some deep thoughts. So many of us battle thoughts, WE ALL do… but only a handful know how to really deal with their emotions in a positive manner and understand themselves and their own self needs. I have been reading the book, “Quiet” by Susan Cain divulging into the world of introverts and the power of introverts. How difficult is it being an introvert in an extroverted world? We are all expected to be this specific way to be successful – Lawyers, bankers, stock traders, business men, BUT some of the worlds most successful people are those who are introverts. An introvert are sometimes viewed as weird, BUT what if you had the balance correct. Walking away from last nights presentation made me realise a lot of things:

  • You Can Achieve Anything You Decide You Want To Do
    • As I was talking through my experiences last night, this was the first time I have been brutally honest about some of my experiences and lows. 9 years ago I tried to kill myself because I couldn’t handle the demon in my head called bulimia. I was so LOW, I had no esteem, no drive, I had completely lost who I was, my worth, where I was, what I wanted, who I wanted to be, I just wanted this illness taken away from me. I couldn’t see escape, and I thought the only escape was to go. As a bulimic sufferer, unlike anorexia you hide your illness, you look relatively normal weight, can put on a front, hide away socially, physically and emotionally. You learn to shut people out, even the closest to you. I spent days and weeks where I only left my bed after I had starved myself for days to eat, which I knew would start the next cycle. I want to tell you WHATEVER your stage of recovery – YOU can get back to a fully functioning normal life. You CAN believe in yourself again, you just need to keep working on it, you need to keep reminding yourself YOU are worth it. I have days still now here and then where I am so low I want the world to disappear, BUT what I have realised is that these days are few and far between, and it is mostly due to the fact that one of the personality traits of an ED sufferer is OCD and Perfectionism. I have spent, and still spend time daily working on my mindset and strength to ensure I am fully functioning. It is something I will never be able to stop doing because I always want to keep improving and growing and being a better human being to help others become happier and healthier too. Last night I stood up in front of a room of nearly 100 people to speak with confidence, and happiness about my experiences in a positive light. Listening to Louise also helps prove that There is a light at the end of the tunnel YOU need to keep going, because I promise you that it is worth it. One step at a time. Don’t beat yourself up at a set back, just refocus, regain your thoughts and start moving forward again. At times last night my anxiety started to take over as I was speaking at the thought of, “I am setting myself up for complete judgement” and thoughts running through my head at points were, “everyone thinks I’m a joke” and “I am not good enough to be up here” BUT I have learnt to shut out my chimp! That voice that negatively talks me down – YOU can do that too, the thoughts may be there but it’s learning how to destroy them and prove them wrong.

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      Glasgow 2014 CWG QUALF
  • The Power Of Others Emotions and Words
    • How many times have you taken a moment to think about your emotional affect on someone else? It is something I am very very conscious about, but its something a lot of people do not think about or care about. I have written a couple blogs that touch on this topic and an instagram live feed. The power of others negative impact on your thoughts. How many times have you walked into a room and put that negative emotion onto the others in the room? If I ever do that, the next best thing I do is apologise straight away and try to create a positive impact. How many times have you thought about the power of your words? I spoke last night about unveiling in counselling sessions some of my triggers from back when I was a child. I speak about in my book an incident from back when I was 6 year olds, that sparked the trigger of embarrassment for not being good enough. When I was 8, upon being left out of a group I was called Fat, at 10 a passing comment from a parent which was overheard by a friend about potentially being ill (anorexic) was passed onto me from a friend again only 10 neither of us understanding what it meant because I was super skinny “far too skinny”. Sometimes you don’t realise the power of what you say and the affect that has on your subconscious mind. This is why the phrase be kind always is so important. Girls especially are terrible, I would never want to go through my teenage years ever again, BUT now guys are becoming increasingly worse. WE ALL NEED TO STOP TEARING EACH OTHER DOWN –  WE NEED TO START BUILDING EACH OTHER UP. What makes someone more important than the next person? NOTHING! We are all equal in our own right. Lets start creating that environment for the youth of today to grow and love instead of tearing each other down. This starts from adults now – our generation the generation before us – WE SET THE PRECEDENT! Which is why I am so privileged and grateful to have the opportunities I have now to help change the future for our youth. IMG_2297-1
  • Admission is NOT weakness it is STRENGTH 
    • Admission is not a weakness it is a strength. It takes some guts to admit, “I have a problem” NO MATTER WHAT it is: Addiction, mental health, medical issues, eating disorders, disabilities, there is nothing to be ashamed off. One of the key purposes of speaking out was to help others realise, Yes I have had an Eating Disorder and do you know what No I am not ashamed of it. It is something that defined me for so long, but IT no longer will define me, it helped me redefine myself, it has catapulted me to really learn who I am, it has enabled me to see what serious depression is in and made me realise how fortunate I am to have made it through, to see light in each day and have the opportunity to help others to see that you can break through. Every struggle you go through is a lesson, a lesson for you to grow, and understand who you are better. I am not saying it will be easy, BY GOSH it will take hard work, a lot of HARD work, but how much do you want to live a normal life again? How much do you want to see the light? How much do you want to laugh and smile at the sun rising in the morning, to smile at the beauty of the world, see the light and hope in others around you and see the good in what everyone is trying to do for you and help others understand how to be kinder and happier.  Admission is the first step to saying, “I am strong”, “I want a better life”, “I deserve to be happy” and YOU DO! I want you to know that you are not alone. Admission is a lonely phase, it can be isolating and scary, its the steps that you know you can’t back out, you have a stamp on your forehead, BUT you are not alone. We are here for you, and we are here to help you see the light. Speak out, reach out and allow yourself to live yourself again, overtime, you will see it is worth it. Don’t let your demons define you – Lets rise up and burn your flame so bright. IMG_1296

“Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world”

Roald Dahl

I AM  – The Two Most Powerful Words You are Going to use:
I am POWERFUL
I am BEYOUTIFUL
I am WORTHY
I am READY
I am A WARRIOR
I am GOING TO CHANGE MY LIFE

* I believe in you – I want you to believe in you too *

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With Love

J

xxx

Jayne is available for Transformational speaking engagements and Event Hosting.

Contact pa@beyoutiful-u.co.uk for information