Becoming Human

That process, sometimes where you need to lose yourself. To allow yourself to feel out of control and go with the flow. Something that comes very unnaturally for me. It’s been almost 5 years since retiring as an “athlete” and I still reminisce in those days and what they meant and how they shaped me as a person. Creating my superhuman thinking, that I can achieve and be anyone I want to be. What we struggle with transitioning into “normal” life is a change of identity from one life to another life. It’s a moment a lot of us get lost, but it’s the time to get lost and explore and start the next chapter of whom you are becoming. I know I have struggled to leave that identity behind me, and I still find myself beating myself up if I miss a session or if I eat badly and drink too much. As usual the athlete mindset of perfectionism towards areas of control can kick in and everything can get too much where you step back and reevaluate. It’s a process of trial and error, in all areas, work, relationships, pressures and friendships.

 

For me I made a massive life move to London 2 years ago and it has turned out to be the most adventurous and best move I have made. For the first time in years I feel like I belong again. I have a social life that keeps me happy, a fitness life that keeps my body and my mind fresh and currently work that I absolutely adore. But it’s been a major process… a long old process which you can still at times beat yourself up about. I can find myself judging my life against others and angered at myself I am not at different life phases BUT then I remember I need to breathe and look at what I focused my life in my 20’s on instead. If you are currently struggling to find your human, I want to tell you it’s a journey and its a process. It’s a constantly process of learning and understanding you, as truly you, naked, stripped and as nature intended, taking a deep step into your soul and asking what truly makes you happy.

 

Everyone has an opportunity to change their life in the blink of a moment but so many of us are going through life with our eyes closed – OPEN THEM! You might miss your opportunities that are right In front of you. Why I am writing this? I get a lot of you messaging me regarding how in control I am, busy and focused and how do I stay so positive all the time…. ? True answer is because I am learning to trust the process. The heart aches, the let downs,  the mistakes, the failures, the sad days, the positive, the proud moments, the anxieties I sometimes I feel, the friendships I make daily, the people that pass through life, they are all there for a reason, to help shape you… EMBRACE THEM. They are either a lesson or a blessing, follow your gut instincts and lead with your heart and open your mind to the possibility that all of us are struggling in some ways. The key being: how do you look at the outcome? The positive happy people are the ones who look at everything with opportunity to grow and learn. It doesn’t mean we don’t have down days, we have just learnt how to use them positively. Always bounce back, and always learn. Take your time out to tune into you,  and when you are ready…. become your human – your raw, unapologetically beyoutiful you! Welcome back to my Blogs… all my love Jayne xxxIMG_2871.JPG

Breaking Your Thoughts…

January provides a month where a lot of individuals re analyse their lives, what makes them happy, what do they want and what do they want to achieve. After such big breakthroughs in life for me in 2017, I have felt an immense amount of pressure to keep pushing – which excites me as I feel the effect of the compound effect of positive mental attitude, but recently I have spent a lot of time reflecting on how do I help others achieve that compound effect, how do I encourage and motivate individuals who really are struggling to see the light and enable them to break out the mould of their negative habits. We all have bad/negative habits, BUT after presenting at Scottish Athletics seminar on Eating Disorders last night with such an amazing turn out and listening to Louise Capicotto it really sparked some deep thoughts. So many of us battle thoughts, WE ALL do… but only a handful know how to really deal with their emotions in a positive manner and understand themselves and their own self needs. I have been reading the book, “Quiet” by Susan Cain divulging into the world of introverts and the power of introverts. How difficult is it being an introvert in an extroverted world? We are all expected to be this specific way to be successful – Lawyers, bankers, stock traders, business men, BUT some of the worlds most successful people are those who are introverts. An introvert are sometimes viewed as weird, BUT what if you had the balance correct. Walking away from last nights presentation made me realise a lot of things:

  • You Can Achieve Anything You Decide You Want To Do
    • As I was talking through my experiences last night, this was the first time I have been brutally honest about some of my experiences and lows. 9 years ago I tried to kill myself because I couldn’t handle the demon in my head called bulimia. I was so LOW, I had no esteem, no drive, I had completely lost who I was, my worth, where I was, what I wanted, who I wanted to be, I just wanted this illness taken away from me. I couldn’t see escape, and I thought the only escape was to go. As a bulimic sufferer, unlike anorexia you hide your illness, you look relatively normal weight, can put on a front, hide away socially, physically and emotionally. You learn to shut people out, even the closest to you. I spent days and weeks where I only left my bed after I had starved myself for days to eat, which I knew would start the next cycle. I want to tell you WHATEVER your stage of recovery – YOU can get back to a fully functioning normal life. You CAN believe in yourself again, you just need to keep working on it, you need to keep reminding yourself YOU are worth it. I have days still now here and then where I am so low I want the world to disappear, BUT what I have realised is that these days are few and far between, and it is mostly due to the fact that one of the personality traits of an ED sufferer is OCD and Perfectionism. I have spent, and still spend time daily working on my mindset and strength to ensure I am fully functioning. It is something I will never be able to stop doing because I always want to keep improving and growing and being a better human being to help others become happier and healthier too. Last night I stood up in front of a room of nearly 100 people to speak with confidence, and happiness about my experiences in a positive light. Listening to Louise also helps prove that There is a light at the end of the tunnel YOU need to keep going, because I promise you that it is worth it. One step at a time. Don’t beat yourself up at a set back, just refocus, regain your thoughts and start moving forward again. At times last night my anxiety started to take over as I was speaking at the thought of, “I am setting myself up for complete judgement” and thoughts running through my head at points were, “everyone thinks I’m a joke” and “I am not good enough to be up here” BUT I have learnt to shut out my chimp! That voice that negatively talks me down – YOU can do that too, the thoughts may be there but it’s learning how to destroy them and prove them wrong.

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      Glasgow 2014 CWG QUALF
  • The Power Of Others Emotions and Words
    • How many times have you taken a moment to think about your emotional affect on someone else? It is something I am very very conscious about, but its something a lot of people do not think about or care about. I have written a couple blogs that touch on this topic and an instagram live feed. The power of others negative impact on your thoughts. How many times have you walked into a room and put that negative emotion onto the others in the room? If I ever do that, the next best thing I do is apologise straight away and try to create a positive impact. How many times have you thought about the power of your words? I spoke last night about unveiling in counselling sessions some of my triggers from back when I was a child. I speak about in my book an incident from back when I was 6 year olds, that sparked the trigger of embarrassment for not being good enough. When I was 8, upon being left out of a group I was called Fat, at 10 a passing comment from a parent which was overheard by a friend about potentially being ill (anorexic) was passed onto me from a friend again only 10 neither of us understanding what it meant because I was super skinny “far too skinny”. Sometimes you don’t realise the power of what you say and the affect that has on your subconscious mind. This is why the phrase be kind always is so important. Girls especially are terrible, I would never want to go through my teenage years ever again, BUT now guys are becoming increasingly worse. WE ALL NEED TO STOP TEARING EACH OTHER DOWN –  WE NEED TO START BUILDING EACH OTHER UP. What makes someone more important than the next person? NOTHING! We are all equal in our own right. Lets start creating that environment for the youth of today to grow and love instead of tearing each other down. This starts from adults now – our generation the generation before us – WE SET THE PRECEDENT! Which is why I am so privileged and grateful to have the opportunities I have now to help change the future for our youth. IMG_2297-1
  • Admission is NOT weakness it is STRENGTH 
    • Admission is not a weakness it is a strength. It takes some guts to admit, “I have a problem” NO MATTER WHAT it is: Addiction, mental health, medical issues, eating disorders, disabilities, there is nothing to be ashamed off. One of the key purposes of speaking out was to help others realise, Yes I have had an Eating Disorder and do you know what No I am not ashamed of it. It is something that defined me for so long, but IT no longer will define me, it helped me redefine myself, it has catapulted me to really learn who I am, it has enabled me to see what serious depression is in and made me realise how fortunate I am to have made it through, to see light in each day and have the opportunity to help others to see that you can break through. Every struggle you go through is a lesson, a lesson for you to grow, and understand who you are better. I am not saying it will be easy, BY GOSH it will take hard work, a lot of HARD work, but how much do you want to live a normal life again? How much do you want to see the light? How much do you want to laugh and smile at the sun rising in the morning, to smile at the beauty of the world, see the light and hope in others around you and see the good in what everyone is trying to do for you and help others understand how to be kinder and happier.  Admission is the first step to saying, “I am strong”, “I want a better life”, “I deserve to be happy” and YOU DO! I want you to know that you are not alone. Admission is a lonely phase, it can be isolating and scary, its the steps that you know you can’t back out, you have a stamp on your forehead, BUT you are not alone. We are here for you, and we are here to help you see the light. Speak out, reach out and allow yourself to live yourself again, overtime, you will see it is worth it. Don’t let your demons define you – Lets rise up and burn your flame so bright. IMG_1296

“Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world”

Roald Dahl

I AM  – The Two Most Powerful Words You are Going to use:
I am POWERFUL
I am BEYOUTIFUL
I am WORTHY
I am READY
I am A WARRIOR
I am GOING TO CHANGE MY LIFE

* I believe in you – I want you to believe in you too *

Get Your Copy Of Free-ed on Amazon

With Love

J

xxx

Jayne is available for Transformational speaking engagements and Event Hosting.

Contact pa@beyoutiful-u.co.uk for information

Your Attitude Changes Your Direction

Attitudes? What are they? What do they represent? Why do we have them? Have you ever heard of the saying,” if you don’t like something change it, if you can’t change it change your attitude”. I spoke briefly about attitudes on Monday on my live insta feed and how we can identify our attitudes and how we can change them… but I want to go into a little more depth. I want to help YOU change your mind and your life. I want to help inspire you, motivate and educate you to realise and understand that you have the power to do whatever you set your mind too. All it takes is a change in attitude. An attitude is what we think, what we do and how we feel. this can be in regards to a situation, a person, or a hobbie, or anything that makes you think, do or feel. FOR example: some people have a bad attitude towards relationships, this is normally learnt from experience of a bad relationship and having negative connotations towards any relaltionship they step into, they automatically expect the next relationship to be the same… why? Because most people end relationships, don’ t spend the time to reflect and understand why it didn’t work, before quickly moving onto the next situation… with the same attitude… and the cycle continues. One bad experience, after another, and another and another leads too: negative outcome, negative attitude. In order to change your attitudes – we need to change our behaviours – which means we need to look at our current situation and what our desired situation would be – this is called ecology checking (looking at our behavioural impact on our attitudes).

How do we change our behaviours?

You have come to this point right now – even I am assuming from those reading where you just think: I wan’t more than this. I deserve more than this. Why am I not getting more than this? One of my favouritie universal Authors Dr Steve DeMartini talks about your thoughts become things – what you think about you bring about. Therefore same is with behaviours we need to start looking at how we act is what we attract into our lives. First thing I want you to do is think about the behaviours you portray? What behaviours do you like? What behaviours do you not like so much? What behaviours do YOU want to change to be the person YOU want to portray?

For example: Jayne August 2016

What behaviours did I portray?

  • Low Confidence in my ideas
  • Low body esteem
  • My attitude towards myself was that I wasn’t good enough
  • My behaviours were I was afraid that everyone around me hated me
  • I actually 14 months ago sent an urgent email to MIND.org as I was in a mental place again where I didn’t want to be here. I had lost my focus, my goals, what I wanted to do with life, trapped, alone, and misunderstood – VERY misunderstood. I felt like everyone around me would be better off without me there and I was just an annoyance to peoples lives, I had started to allow others behaviours to affect me. UNTIL I took a step back and thought… why are you doing this to yourself again?

I picked up a book the Slight Edge and honestly started to revolutionise my life. I have so many people contacting me, commenting on my positivity, change in mindset and outlook. I took a step back and literally went into a social recluse. I removed myself entirely because I knew I had to reinvent myself. I dived fully into work, self development and writing my book, because I knew I wasn’t getting the best out of myself. These behaviours and attitudes didn’t change overnight. They took months of persistence, determination and focus. I started with my focus being part of the “5am Club” which Robin Sharma talks about loads. I then started reading every day – every morning for the first 30 minutes of my day I would do learning. It focused my mind and made me alert for the day ahead. From here I stayed focused on what worked best for me. Social situations I would take part if they worked best for me, because I had got myself into the habit of completely forgetting about my goals, my wants, my needs and put everyone else first. But unless you are looking after number 1 how can you support others? I took a big step forward and day by day I started to feel myself grow. Spritually, emotionally, stance and becoming the woman I wanted to become. I desired so badly to be this radiant positive person who could help others believe in themselves and help make an impact to positively improve the world. (I am still working on this) but my mission is to look after number 1 and use how I deal with my imperfections to help change peoples outlook – I am a coach, a speaker and a people person. What I have done for the last 10 years is help develop and manage people to change their perspective and outlook on fitness and their priorities. I had all my basis there, I just wasnt implementing it. So lets look at some NLP: Neuro Linguistic Programming – How we are going to change your behavioural competencies. Lets start with future pacing today. Your mental rehersal of what you could achieve and what you want to achieve (what you think about you bring about).

What is your desired outcome?
What do you want? What would you like to happen?

What values do you associate to this outcome?
What is important about it to you? How will it benefit you?

What evidence will you need to know that you have achieved this outcome?
How will you know when you’ve got it? How will others know? What will you and others see?

What’s your current responsibilities to achieve and your barriers?
what has stopped you so far from achieving your outcome? What will you have to do differently?

What will your ecology check and positive intervention come of it?
What impact will this outcome have on your life? Work? People around you?
Are you sure you want it?
Are there any positive by products by staying the way you are now?

Future Pacing
Take a moment to float off 5 years in to the future and look back from then. What was the first steps you needed to take towards acheiving your desired outcome?

Take 15 – 20 minutes to complete this exercise – Email me your results and ideas:
jayne@beyoutiful-u.co.uk

 

Eat Your Self BeYOUtiful: Foods that make you look beautiful

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I have been doing alot of research on this recently mainly because when I moved to London, your life becomes so fast paced and theres so many other factors contributing to your life that my skin just couldn’t cope. I have been trialling and testing lots of different things to try and boost my glow and enhance my skin to stop it looking so tired and dull with the pollution down here. In combination with stress of a much more fast paced life my body and skin were like no more. The key thing I knew I could fully control to ensure at least good skin can be nourished and that is only by consuming foods that help enhance your skin. Here are my top 5 foods for a clearer, more glowing complexion:

  1. Salmon
    • Wild Salmon is one of the best food sources for omega-3 fatty acids, which helps keep your skin supple and moisturized. Salmon also has selenium, a mineral that protects the skin from sun exposure. The vitamin D in salmon keeps your bones and teeth strong and healthy, too.
  2. Avocado
    • The avocado is a beautiful fruit packed full of healthy goodness, so much so that to only eat it and not utilize its full potential by also applying topically to the skin and hair would be a crime to Mother Nature herself!

      The nutrient dense and creamy fruit – affectionately referred to as ‘nature’s butter’ – is an excellent source of over twenty vitamins and minerals, including vitamin B, C, E and K, riboflavin, niacin, folate, pantothenic acid, magnesium, potassium, lutein, beta-carotene, omega-3 fatty acids and anti-ageing antioxidants.

       

  3. Walnuts
    • Walnuts are an excellent source of anti-inflammatory omega-3 essential fatty acids, in the form of alpha-linolenic acid (ALA). Walnuts are also rich in antioxidants, including being a very good source of manganese and copper. They are also a good source of molybdenum and the B vitamin biotin. They are super high in Anti-Oxidents so makes an amazing to help repair and promote clear skin.
  4. Sweet Potato
    • Sweet potato is considered as an excellent source of natural, health-promoting compounds known as beta-carotene and anthocyanin. Beta-carotene is known to reduce the risk of several chronic diseases, including cancer, cardiovascular diseases, age-related macular degeneration, and cataracts. Anthocyanin fights pigmentation and provides anti-inflammatory benefits to the skin. Vitamins A, B, and C have antioxidant properties that help in fighting against damage caused by free radicals. Eating the skin will add more nutrition to your plate such as fiber and potassium. Also baking them is a better choice than boiling. Boiling can cause water soluble nutrients to be lost. Sweet potatoes are a great source of vitamin A. Vitamin A is important for keeping your eyes and skin healthy.
  5. Dark Chocolate
    • Flavonols are antioxidants that help your skin protect itself from UV damage (hello, fewer wrinkles) fight free radicals (so long, sun spots) and increase blood flow (i.e. dewy glow!). In one study, flavonols in dark chocolate even improved skin hydration and thickness—both mega important for young-looking skin.