Who has it all figured out anyway?

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I am here to tell you not a lot of us haha! I got asked the other day, Jayne what is your 5 year plan and for the first time in a long time I froze and panicked! OMG I do not know what my 5 year plan is anymore, I have been DRIFTING!!!!!!!!!! I am a massive planner, like I know its frustrating for others how much I need to know what’s going on. I am not very good at just going along with day to day without a structure and plan in place. The key thing being because I just don’t want to miss anything. People, moments, work, training, food haha (yes you laugh if I don’t plan in food I might get too busy and forget). I like to fully live life and have a plan so I can see everyone In my life but sometimes it gets too much and I panic.

silence ❤

How many times have you found yourself there? Lost in the darkness unsure of where it is your life is steered. At 30 sometimes I despair at where my life is going, am I on the right path, trying to get back in sync with my vibe and ensure I am “flowing”. Oh yes, we have all heard it, get in your flow and everything will be okay… be patient everything is a work in process… your prince charming is round the corner… okay thanks… Mum that doesn’t help me right now (wondering if I may actually be the real life Bridget Jones) **haha chuckles of laughter**…. Okay we laugh, Maybe a little bit of an exaggeration but sometimes if you don’t laugh you might cry so it is always best to laugh and smile and maybe have an (awkward silence) but you get the gist. Any ladies or gents out there you may know this feeling and even those in relationships and couples. Are you in the right place, are you with the right person. Or career wise, are you In the right place? Are you on the right path? Are you working to live or living to work?

I adore the people in my life who seem to have it all figured out, their aura so strong and powerful with satisfaction and focus. The relationships of couples I know where all your feel there is pure love and complete adoration. I sometimes struggle at wondering if that will eventually be me one day and if someone will be able to put up with my complete stubbornness to loving to have a plan and meticulous and annoying drive for grabbing everything with 2 hands and going full pelt…. But what is the plan? THIS IS BREAKING NEWS Ladies and gents and I am here to tell you something BIG…. Are you ready for it? 

Drumroll please…

THERE IS NO PLAN!!!

I know….  “WHAT?? NO PLAN” I hear you say… what are we all going to do? Surely this is how we base life…  But the plan is you CREATE your own plan and your story! Wow… I know… I find it crazy writing that (crazy planner woman over here) but each day is an opportunity to create your plan. To write your story, to find your path, to make a change, to improve your life, to find love, to be love, to LIVE! What a great thing that each morning you wake up, you breathe in fresh air and have the opportunity every morning to do something with your life, to inspire others with your life, to help others, to help yourself and most importantly to find your power in yourself. This is part of the opening to my new book. Find Your Power which is currently in the process of the plan… and yes this plan has been sitting there for 10 months. It’s taken me 10 months to get round to reminding myself I am at my happiest creating. I am assuming you have all seen PS. I love you? The part of the movie that she is telling Gerry she was born to create. This sounds ridiculous but as I watched this movie in December for the first time in years this quote has stuck with me, the theme song and everything has given me some weird sense of creativity back, like a chord struck. Writing is my creativity and I love it and it helps me help you guys and girls, it also helps me create speaking content to deliver epic talks and speeches. It helps me remember who I am, what I stand for and who I want to be. What is your creativity? Where do you want to go?

Key Thing:
It isn’t about the perfect plan, the perfect life, the perfect Flow, the perfect image, the perfect balance. It’s about just being. Something I am trying to do… just be!
Its about accepting that you have flaws and understanding what you can do about it, but embracing that you can’t always be perfect.
It’s about knowing that no matter what judgement comes your way, you can only be true to who you are.
It’s about accepting what will be will be. You can’t force situations, you can only nourish them.
It’s about being patient, when you want to rush, and about being calm when you want to blow!
It’s about being present right now in this moment and embracing its all step by step, moment by moment, day by day, week on week, year by year.

What is the point in this blog for you? To help you relax, to calm, to flow, just as much a post for me as it is for you. If you are reading this and you are in a momentary lapse of – I am not at the right point in my life. I am not where I need to be… STOP! Don’t panic! You are exactly where you need to be right at this moment in time. Whatever confusion you are going through, whatever success you are feeling, whatever pain you are potentially going through, what is it teaching you? It’s not a negative, it is there for a reason to help you grow, to help you flow and to help you understand what you need more of in your life or less of in your life, people, hobbies, places, air. Whatever you are up to this Wednesday, take time to understand your silence. Take time to get comfortable in it. Time to understand it is good for you. Time to understand the more silent you are the more you can hear, the more you can create, the more you can become clear and the more you can get comfortable in being yourself. Remember you are 90% of how you react to the 10% of life you cannot control. Life is too short to live in fear and doubt and a lack of self love. I am on this journey with you the whole way. Take some time out to create your silence and find some peace.

Happy Wednesday 🙂

Love Me xx


Sweating it out: My top 5!

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Sweat… the love hate relationship most people have in life – Do we want to sweat? Do we not want to sweat? Do we enjoy the pain? Do we not enjoy the pain? The relationship that as trainers we try to help you get positive connotations with the fact that is it not just good for you body but also your mind too! Every time I take on a new client or teach a class, clients cannot believe how good they feel after, mind, body and spirit! woohooo!

Yes, you may look at me and my energy and sigh because yes I have had it lucky, exercise is an engrained part of my life, it always has been and always will be since I was a little tot, setting myself time goals when I was 6 to how quick I could run to the end of the street and back like a loser!

The hardest part of it all is forcing yourself to get out and do it… and that’s just it so many of us just don’t do it! For some of us exercising comes naturally and it takes a little more time. For me that’s things such as retaining information – such as at school I had to study for weeks and months to try and retain information it just wasn’t natural for me! I only ever wanted to be doing sport. It’s the same sort of thing if you aren’t natural to fitness but you can train yourself to understand and love it because SWEATING is so good for you! Scientifically has been proven to reduce your stress and anxiety! There is so many ways you can get into a community and environment too. I get quite a few of you messaging me regarding training, classes and anything fitness related. I am going to breakdown my top 5 training sessions in London for you on here that will enable you to break down your barriers to fitness!

Easy and Convenient: Running

There are so many awesome parks in London that you can start your fitness journey. 2 Benefits you are getting outdoors and embracing nature. You can take it completely at your own pace. My favourite places are at Battersea Park and Hampstead Heath. I have Started doing some track sessions also at Paddington Track which is all for FREE! How incredible is that. If you want more guidance on running please get in touch on jayne@jaynenisbet.com.


Group Community & Overall Body Goals: F45 Training (Kensington Olympia)

Obviously I am biased here but I only got introduced to F45 when I took on my position. When I first went to try an F45 I wasn’t so sure but once I went and trained up and looking at exactly how it is all programmed at HQ I was so impressed at the amount of detailing goes in. What I love personally about our studio is the community environment we have managed to create. I have such an incredible team of trainers who want to make your experience the best yet!! With different workouts on different days, we target each of your training systems to ensure you have a really good full body workout everyday!

You can sign up for your 1 week free trial here

High End Boutique: Sweat by BXR London

My Squad at Versa Climber with Alex Nicholl

Yes you have all seen on my instagram the LOVE for the Versa Climber! Why?? Because it’s something that is SO good for your cardio vascular system without the impact of running or for me the boringness of running and yes its tough!! But its so good! The music and the vibe in the classes are unreal with carefully thought out playlists which is incredible and motivating! Honestly if you haven’t tried this class you need to try it! You can buy a Trial Sweat Pack here. I would say you need to do at least 3 climbs to get into the swing of it but I promise you… once you get it you will be wanting to get back for more and the whole facility is just incredible. Get down and check it out and you might even find yourself signing up for the Vertical Mile Challenge!

For the Fitness Fanatic: Barrys Bootcamp West

I was introduced to Barrys by a dear friend of mine when I was going through a bit of a tough time in my life. When I started at Barrys I was like WOW this is literally incredible! It was THE ultimate stress buster for me mostly because I just love the treadmill, but the workouts were literally pushing me to my absolute maximum and my favourite instructor Connor knew when I was slacking so he wouldn’t let me slow down! Everyone around me was so fit aswell which was amazing. The good thing about Barrys is the different levels that are on offer to you, beginner, intermediate and advanced for both the treadmill and the weights. If you are feeling intimidated don’t be worried there are different levels for you to start on. The instructors are all amazing: Connor, Jason, Izy, Jay C just to name a few – I think If you haven’t tried one I would recommend going down to see what all the buzz is about.

For the stress head: Kobox

Ian Streetz and the girls at Coyo Event last weekend

What I love about Kobox is the opportunity to go HARD on the bags but also get a full body workout too. If you haven’t tried boxing before then this is a great place to start. It is non intimidating, the instructors and staff are super friendly and it’s a great combination of on the bag and off the bag. The classes are intense, but again are adaptable to all levels so please don’t let this put you off. They have an intro pack aswell on their website so even just try a couple of classes out.

Key things from this post:

There are so many opportunities to sweat around you! Not all of them you are going to like so find what one works best for you. Neutralise the serotonin levels in your body and feel better with the endorphin release you get from exercising. Sweat is sexy, its makes you glow, it makes you look good! Don’t be afraid. If you need a gym buddy you will find me at all of these places so get in touch and I will hook you up! So this week – work with the sweat! Feel it, embrace it, challenge it and find what works best for you! Come and check us out ASAP at Kensington Olympia – I promise you we will provide you with the friendliest and most fun environment yet. Lots of love,

Jayne xx

Don’t want to waste another day

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Life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it…. so when life gives you lemons you need to make lemonade. What this means is we are all going to get situations that are chucked at us and are not in our control of happening… For example at some point in your life your car will break down, you will walk into a room of people and feel uncomfortable, you will experience heart ache, you will experience death, you will experience new life too, you will have to work with negative people or you will miss you bus and it then starts to rain! Wowsers the worst but what you can control is how you react to it! When your car breaks down – is the whole world ending too, or do you logically think about it and think strategically about how to get the car back on the road, and then do you go onto thinking further well there was a reason this happened… what is it teaching you? Why did you get your flat tyre? Were you rushing? Did you hit a kerb? When you walk into a room of new people and feel uncomfortable how do you react? Do you go into your shell and retreat? Do you automatically think they are judging you? OR do you just own it! When was the last time you experienced heart ache… wowsers it really can be the worst pain… The worst I have ever felt was. only about 9 months ago where It literally felt like someone had ripped my heart out my chest… almost like a mourning which seemed so far fetched and shook me so much…. BUT I used to to help empower me to focus on making me happy! The thing is all the time things will happen to us, ALWAYS, every day – but how do you wake up and smell the coffee? What is it you are going to do today that’s going to make you react better? Remember you have an impact on everybody you meet! Yes everybody! Everyone you cross paths with on a day to day basis will be influenced and impacted by you… so what is the impact you want to leave? Positivity and enthusiasm, encouragement and excitement or just plain bland boring, negative moaning Minnie? The best compliment I have ever had was someone telling me they felt happy around my aura because it shone with positivity and happiness – how nice is that!

Think of these 4 things: Trigger, Feeling, Behaviour and Outcome.

Trigger
What triggers your mood, the situation or whatever is about to happen… for example the weather! Its a gorgeous Monday morning, the skies are blue, the sun is beaming and everything is merry, apart from the fact it is 2 degrees Celsius outside… Scenario one: You focus on the sunshine and blue skies and tell everyone what a beautiful morning is it… the sun is shining, the birds are singing, gorgeous scene with frost ridden ground and crisp fresh air…. you share this positivity with another and they look at it from another perspective. Scenario two: The sun is shining and skies are blue but all you worry about is the fact that its 2 degrees Celsius and you are freezing you absolute buttocks off and couldn’t give a flying rats arse to whether it was sunny or not you JUST want it to br summer ran d w arm again…. but will probably then continue to moan that in the summer its too hot or its raining. Wow well hello Negative Nancy… I know the person I would rather be around!!

Which leads us onto Feeling
Lets look at our scenarios above – straight away you can see exactly which person is about to have a better day… and why because its all about how they see things, their perspective and outlook on things! Focus on the sunshine, it will bring you light, they will bring you light!

Leading onto behaviour
Which behaviour is going to have a more positive impact on those around them? Scenario 1! You might have a little giggle at it and think yes but dear is is still freezing cold.. yes it is but now you are focusing on the sunshine and the blue skies it takes away the element of the focus being on the cold and we all have a much brighter mood, happier outcome and more positive behaviour. Scenario 2 is going to leave you there thinking… wow its freezing, I may aswell lock myself away and miss the beauty of the day, because there is no beauty in being cold…. Do you know what guys and girls someone times you just need to dance in the rain, feel the cold and embracer the moments.

Outcome.
As you have guessed by now the outcome for scenario 1 is a positive happy fulfilling day…. the outcome for scenario 2 is spreading negativity and unhappiness to all those around them


Moral being… lets start looking at things with what the trigger is… As we know 10% of what we get challenged with is out of our control… but WE are in control of 90% of how we react… infact you are in control of 100%! SO whatever you are doing this week ask your self: how can I change this into a positive? How can I control this behaviour in a positive light? Lets shine, inspire and motivate others to do the same.

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

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Need to find that “off” switch? *Hands up* My off switch isn’t very good… like ever! haha I love to be busy and filling up my life with being busy!  But I am also very good at using busy as a coping mechanism to hide emotions and feelings, it’s a distraction method many of us use to hide potentially a few things: stress, anxiety, fear, depression, hurt, worry, heartache and loneliness. I was speaking to someone just the other day and its only been recently that I can sit and watch part of a movie on Netflix without feeling “guilty”. HOW ridiculous is that and unlogical does that sound really haha but its true! I told you I was daring bare! It’s actually something we are SO bad for in society and it then means it actually makes others feel anxious for not being so busy and its this massive vicious cycle – I remember once I got asked out on a date and my response was I am actually not free till October 10th…. and that wasn’t a joke! I had filled in every weekend and free evening with something! Poor guy I used to be such a woman on a solo mission I have got better over the years haha.  

Anyway back to the point: busyness! Why do we fill our lives with being busy rather than embracing moments? Put pressure on situations rather than just letting them blossom? Create scenarios in our heads that are not even truly valid. I have been reading the book the art of being brilliant (in fact I have been reading a lot again recently which has Brought back my creative flow – its my meditation) but we are all so busy that we miss things, we miss living and we miss nurturing our relationships and ourselves. Reading this morning about busyness brought up this topic. With our lives being so much busier than ever there is only so much our brains and neural system can process and yep you guessed it – it chooses what it wants to hear and what it doesn’t. Have you ever had that grumbling feeling that you don’t want to hear something so you pretend that you didn’t? Like when you were a kid and you were told to tidy your room…. yeahhhh mum sure I will do that – until your dad threatens to chuck all your clothes away in black bags if it isn’t done by the morning – OH now your listening.

Information passes through 3 systems:
1. Deletion
2. Distortion
3. Generalisation

Deletion

Have you ever read a sentence or read your own work and missed out the 5 extra “the” in your paragraph? But its only because your mind automatically deletes those words, its busy it doesn’t have time to consume them so automatic deletion happens. Sometimes I would question when you think you have had a conversation but your mind deletes that it has… almost like when you “forget” the conversations you had when you were drunk hehe just a little joke. Deletion takes away the information we don’t want to see. For example, if you are saying oh what a beautiful day it is…. and someones response is but its cold… they are deleting the positive of the fact its glorious sunshine!!!! WHAT?? Lets look on the bright side of life… we live in the UK its going to be cold from November – March lets embrace the sunny days and feel the rain for what is it.

Distortion

This is where we change the view of a situation to fit our values rather than looking at it with open eyes. I wish I was better at actually distorting, but I am not. What I try and do is always look at it from what is called in coaching: the Pillar method. Your opinion, Their opinion and someone from the outside looking in . Rationalising the situation and then making a decision on the next best approach. The worst thing about understanding and nurturing psychology is knowing there is reasons for everyones reactions BUT obviously it helps you help others. Your body distorts images or situations based on what you want to see not necessarily for the truth.

Generalisation

This is the worst! MY GAWD how many times have we ALL generalised a situation based on past feelings or emotions? HANDS UP I am guilty. This is human nature and a protection mechanism, but actually not everyone has the same intentions or want to hurt you, or lie to you or drop you! This I would say is the one thing we all need to get better at. Generalisation ruins friendships, relationship and careers because you automatically think something will happen because it did In the past… so I am here to tell you something… it blooming well will if you think like that because guess what……. drum roll…. that’s exactly what you are attracting because that’s exactly what you are looking out for.

So why do we need to switch off more? It stops us with the above, it enables us to slow down and process things, discover ourselves, find peace and not jump to conclusions. Find your silence hobby and ensure you do even just 5 minutes a day, whether is journalling or reading or mediation or exercise. Silence your mind and heal your head, heart and soul. So would you lie with me and just forget the world? I hope we can all start.

Becoming Human

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That process, sometimes where you need to lose yourself. To allow yourself to feel out of control and go with the flow. Something that comes very unnaturally for me. It’s been almost 5 years since retiring as an “athlete” and I still reminisce in those days and what they meant and how they shaped me as a person. Creating my superhuman thinking, that I can achieve and be anyone I want to be. What we struggle with transitioning into “normal” life is a change of identity from one life to another life. It’s a moment a lot of us get lost, but it’s the time to get lost and explore and start the next chapter of whom you are becoming. I know I have struggled to leave that identity behind me, and I still find myself beating myself up if I miss a session or if I eat badly and drink too much. As usual the athlete mindset of perfectionism towards areas of control can kick in and everything can get too much where you step back and reevaluate. It’s a process of trial and error, in all areas, work, relationships, pressures and friendships.

 

For me I made a massive life move to London 2 years ago and it has turned out to be the most adventurous and best move I have made. For the first time in years I feel like I belong again. I have a social life that keeps me happy, a fitness life that keeps my body and my mind fresh and currently work that I absolutely adore. But it’s been a major process… a long old process which you can still at times beat yourself up about. I can find myself judging my life against others and angered at myself I am not at different life phases BUT then I remember I need to breathe and look at what I focused my life in my 20’s on instead. If you are currently struggling to find your human, I want to tell you it’s a journey and its a process. It’s a constantly process of learning and understanding you, as truly you, naked, stripped and as nature intended, taking a deep step into your soul and asking what truly makes you happy.

 

Everyone has an opportunity to change their life in the blink of a moment but so many of us are going through life with our eyes closed – OPEN THEM! You might miss your opportunities that are right In front of you. Why I am writing this? I get a lot of you messaging me regarding how in control I am, busy and focused and how do I stay so positive all the time…. ? True answer is because I am learning to trust the process. The heart aches, the let downs,  the mistakes, the failures, the sad days, the positive, the proud moments, the anxieties I sometimes I feel, the friendships I make daily, the people that pass through life, they are all there for a reason, to help shape you… EMBRACE THEM. They are either a lesson or a blessing, follow your gut instincts and lead with your heart and open your mind to the possibility that all of us are struggling in some ways. The key being: how do you look at the outcome? The positive happy people are the ones who look at everything with opportunity to grow and learn. It doesn’t mean we don’t have down days, we have just learnt how to use them positively. Always bounce back, and always learn. Take your time out to tune into you,  and when you are ready…. become your human – your raw, unapologetically beyoutiful you! Welcome back to my Blogs… all my love Jayne xxxIMG_2871.JPG

Healing Your Skin through healing your mind, body and soul!

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Stress…. we all know and understand what stress is and there is an undeniable fact that the world we live in is becoming increasingly stressful and our capabilities to cope become increasingly pressurised. Moving to London for me increased that stress with the stress also was combined with a new about of pollution and dirt in the air, and a lack of sleep…. my skin could not cope anymore. I had blemished from the pollution and stress of London already but then a coeliac reaction at the end of July caused my skin to take a huge downward spiral and my health.

As posted on Instagram on Monday – The top is my skin now and below is my skin 7 months ago…. here are the causes:

  • Heightened stress – Leading to lower immune system
  • Poor Sleep
  • Poor Nutrition
  • Make Up Change to Natural
  • Pollution
  • Dirt in Air
  • Harsh Water
  • Coeliac Reaction

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How have I got my skin back to this?

Products: All Natural and Incredible

You can purchase these products below –
Get 15% off when you sign up as a preferred client

http://jaynenisbet.arbonne.com/

It’s not the future you are afraid of… Dealing with an Anxious Disposition

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Insecurities… our biggest cause of anxiety in the world. It can ruin even those that seem the most confidence and come across as if they are unstoppable. But what does it mean:

• Uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence:

◦ “she had a deep sense of insecurity” .

• The state of being open to danger or threat; lack of protection:

◦ “growing job insecurity”

Insecurities can come from when we face are unsure of our position and where we stand:

• Job

• Relationships

Or From rising social status of the need to find perfection and the perfect life:

• Social Media Influence

Unfortunately in this day and age it is hard to escape the pressures that surround us on a day to day basis, meaning that our lives have become very stressful and the external pressures we face to be a specific way and live a specific way have become extremely high. The other thing being is no one can escape the reality of what they do. You can see everything about everyones lives. No one can escape a non response of an email as you can instantly call them, whats app them, voice mail or instagram message… Its crazy. But why do we all get so anxious about everything? I have been doing a lot of thinking and analysing over the last few weeks as I have found myself being drawn into social media and starting to doubt myself and what I bring and if everything I am doing to raise awareness and support is helping anyone at all- its crazy. But what are the insecurities you face in these situations – why do you become anxious and frustrated?

I saw a fantastic quote yesterday that inspired me to blog about this:

Its not the future you are afraid of… it’s the fear of the past repeating itself that haunts you.

Take a moment to really think about this?

What in the past have you not dealt with that is following you into the future and sabotaging you moving forward?

Is it the fear of rejection? We have spoken about the confidence cycle quite a lot (see above). Rejection and the feeling of unwontedness can spark major triggers in your confidence. We need to address these issues first from the red circle to the green circle so you know what you bring and whom deserves it. If you have the stimulus of suffering from any form of mental health issue: depression, anxiety, eating disorders – your automatic cycle will be crisis. That is okay it’s the process of accepting this is your natural reaction and working towards always the green box.

Every time I feel myself moving to the red cycle, I need to take time out to reflect, because a lot of the time it is actually myself creating the situation, the doubt and the fear in my head based on the reality of potential a previous situation or traumatic situation that has emotionally scarred me.

This all sounds a bit overwhelming I know but it is the reality a lot of us face. If you are struggling with anxiety and your confidence, remember it is good to talk it through with someone to help you see the rationale. Spend time working out 1) why you may potentially feel the way you feel, 2) what previous situations have caused you to feel this emotional trigger of self doubt, 3) What enables you to stop the doubt from settling in? 4) Have you communicated your fears with yourself and created a plan to deal with them?

Just remember even the most confident people have times they doubt, but what they are really good at is reflection and understanding why they feel that way. We can bounce back quickly without showing much doubt because we address and nip it in the bud. TAKE some time today to answer the questions above. I will work with you too and address my own fears.

Take time daily to remember what you bring and who you are.

Take time to love yourself and take time to help others find themselves.

Don’t stop giving love because you are afraid of hurt and rejection. It’s true the ones who love the most hurt the most because you give so much of yourself away, BUT we are in control of who we give it too an in control of how we react to it. Be Strong and start rewiring your triggers now.

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Battling The Space in Your Head

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We are coming up to Eating Disorder Awareness Week next week and I am running a POWER phase next week where I want to help you guys turn vulnerability into Power. Being vulnerable isn’t a weakness it is a power because the capability to grow from showing vulnerability and to show strength is unreal. I have been speaking over quite a few gigs the last couple of months on mental health and eating disorders. One of the main reasons a lot of people do not admit mental health problems or eating disorders is due to showing weakness and vulnerability. By stating it you expect people to think you are weak…. but do you know what people look to you for strength especially when you grow and grow and grow! It doesn’t mean that you don’t have days and phases that you start to doubt and punish yourself BUT you learn to manage those days and turn your vulnerability into power.

I have taken a few days away from social media to clear my head and refocus on me. My life has been so crazy busy since new year with lots of amazing things happening I feel I have lost me a little. I am spending a few days just getting my brain and body back in gear. Reason being that when life gets super stressful for me, my brains chemical balance causes massive anxiety for me which makes me doubt every thing about myself – my abilities, how I look, how I feel and it causes me to punish myself. I know that when times become like this I just need to take a big breathe and step back and remove myself from the world of media and get myself back to superwoman

Here are my top 5 tips to help you find your superwoman again:

1: Take Some Time Out to Reflect

2: Focus on what makes you feel good and do things that make you happy

3: Spend time planning out your timings and what’s in the weeks ahead so you can focus

4: Spend time with people who only bring out the best in you

5: DeClutter – your living space, friendship groups and wardrobe. Make sure you only have positivity in your life.

Breaking Your Thoughts…

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January provides a month where a lot of individuals re analyse their lives, what makes them happy, what do they want and what do they want to achieve. After such big breakthroughs in life for me in 2017, I have felt an immense amount of pressure to keep pushing – which excites me as I feel the effect of the compound effect of positive mental attitude, but recently I have spent a lot of time reflecting on how do I help others achieve that compound effect, how do I encourage and motivate individuals who really are struggling to see the light and enable them to break out the mould of their negative habits. We all have bad/negative habits, BUT after presenting at Scottish Athletics seminar on Eating Disorders last night with such an amazing turn out and listening to Louise Capicotto it really sparked some deep thoughts. So many of us battle thoughts, WE ALL do… but only a handful know how to really deal with their emotions in a positive manner and understand themselves and their own self needs. I have been reading the book, “Quiet” by Susan Cain divulging into the world of introverts and the power of introverts. How difficult is it being an introvert in an extroverted world? We are all expected to be this specific way to be successful – Lawyers, bankers, stock traders, business men, BUT some of the worlds most successful people are those who are introverts. An introvert are sometimes viewed as weird, BUT what if you had the balance correct. Walking away from last nights presentation made me realise a lot of things:

  • You Can Achieve Anything You Decide You Want To Do
    • As I was talking through my experiences last night, this was the first time I have been brutally honest about some of my experiences and lows. 9 years ago I tried to kill myself because I couldn’t handle the demon in my head called bulimia. I was so LOW, I had no esteem, no drive, I had completely lost who I was, my worth, where I was, what I wanted, who I wanted to be, I just wanted this illness taken away from me. I couldn’t see escape, and I thought the only escape was to go. As a bulimic sufferer, unlike anorexia you hide your illness, you look relatively normal weight, can put on a front, hide away socially, physically and emotionally. You learn to shut people out, even the closest to you. I spent days and weeks where I only left my bed after I had starved myself for days to eat, which I knew would start the next cycle. I want to tell you WHATEVER your stage of recovery – YOU can get back to a fully functioning normal life. You CAN believe in yourself again, you just need to keep working on it, you need to keep reminding yourself YOU are worth it. I have days still now here and then where I am so low I want the world to disappear, BUT what I have realised is that these days are few and far between, and it is mostly due to the fact that one of the personality traits of an ED sufferer is OCD and Perfectionism. I have spent, and still spend time daily working on my mindset and strength to ensure I am fully functioning. It is something I will never be able to stop doing because I always want to keep improving and growing and being a better human being to help others become happier and healthier too. Last night I stood up in front of a room of nearly 100 people to speak with confidence, and happiness about my experiences in a positive light. Listening to Louise also helps prove that There is a light at the end of the tunnel YOU need to keep going, because I promise you that it is worth it. One step at a time. Don’t beat yourself up at a set back, just refocus, regain your thoughts and start moving forward again. At times last night my anxiety started to take over as I was speaking at the thought of, “I am setting myself up for complete judgement” and thoughts running through my head at points were, “everyone thinks I’m a joke” and “I am not good enough to be up here” BUT I have learnt to shut out my chimp! That voice that negatively talks me down – YOU can do that too, the thoughts may be there but it’s learning how to destroy them and prove them wrong.

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      Glasgow 2014 CWG QUALF
  • The Power Of Others Emotions and Words
    • How many times have you taken a moment to think about your emotional affect on someone else? It is something I am very very conscious about, but its something a lot of people do not think about or care about. I have written a couple blogs that touch on this topic and an instagram live feed. The power of others negative impact on your thoughts. How many times have you walked into a room and put that negative emotion onto the others in the room? If I ever do that, the next best thing I do is apologise straight away and try to create a positive impact. How many times have you thought about the power of your words? I spoke last night about unveiling in counselling sessions some of my triggers from back when I was a child. I speak about in my book an incident from back when I was 6 year olds, that sparked the trigger of embarrassment for not being good enough. When I was 8, upon being left out of a group I was called Fat, at 10 a passing comment from a parent which was overheard by a friend about potentially being ill (anorexic) was passed onto me from a friend again only 10 neither of us understanding what it meant because I was super skinny “far too skinny”. Sometimes you don’t realise the power of what you say and the affect that has on your subconscious mind. This is why the phrase be kind always is so important. Girls especially are terrible, I would never want to go through my teenage years ever again, BUT now guys are becoming increasingly worse. WE ALL NEED TO STOP TEARING EACH OTHER DOWN –  WE NEED TO START BUILDING EACH OTHER UP. What makes someone more important than the next person? NOTHING! We are all equal in our own right. Lets start creating that environment for the youth of today to grow and love instead of tearing each other down. This starts from adults now – our generation the generation before us – WE SET THE PRECEDENT! Which is why I am so privileged and grateful to have the opportunities I have now to help change the future for our youth. IMG_2297-1
  • Admission is NOT weakness it is STRENGTH 
    • Admission is not a weakness it is a strength. It takes some guts to admit, “I have a problem” NO MATTER WHAT it is: Addiction, mental health, medical issues, eating disorders, disabilities, there is nothing to be ashamed off. One of the key purposes of speaking out was to help others realise, Yes I have had an Eating Disorder and do you know what No I am not ashamed of it. It is something that defined me for so long, but IT no longer will define me, it helped me redefine myself, it has catapulted me to really learn who I am, it has enabled me to see what serious depression is in and made me realise how fortunate I am to have made it through, to see light in each day and have the opportunity to help others to see that you can break through. Every struggle you go through is a lesson, a lesson for you to grow, and understand who you are better. I am not saying it will be easy, BY GOSH it will take hard work, a lot of HARD work, but how much do you want to live a normal life again? How much do you want to see the light? How much do you want to laugh and smile at the sun rising in the morning, to smile at the beauty of the world, see the light and hope in others around you and see the good in what everyone is trying to do for you and help others understand how to be kinder and happier.  Admission is the first step to saying, “I am strong”, “I want a better life”, “I deserve to be happy” and YOU DO! I want you to know that you are not alone. Admission is a lonely phase, it can be isolating and scary, its the steps that you know you can’t back out, you have a stamp on your forehead, BUT you are not alone. We are here for you, and we are here to help you see the light. Speak out, reach out and allow yourself to live yourself again, overtime, you will see it is worth it. Don’t let your demons define you – Lets rise up and burn your flame so bright. IMG_1296

“Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world”

Roald Dahl

I AM  – The Two Most Powerful Words You are Going to use:
I am POWERFUL
I am BEYOUTIFUL
I am WORTHY
I am READY
I am A WARRIOR
I am GOING TO CHANGE MY LIFE

* I believe in you – I want you to believe in you too *

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With Love

J

xxx

Jayne is available for Transformational speaking engagements and Event Hosting.

Contact pa@beyoutiful-u.co.uk for information