Category: Life Coaching

Your Backpack

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How often do you take on others problems and try to help them solve them? So often we take on the toils of others out of pure love to ensure they are safe and out of harm. When you work in an industry where helping people is your main trade you tend to bring this into your personal life too. Part of the hardest thing about being in industries where helping other is your key focus is where do your create that boundary. People are drawn to you because you are a helper, you are nice but then tend to drop you as soon as you are unnecessary. As humans its a natural instinct to be wanted to be needed. We like the idea that someone wants us or needs us. Especially as females we are providers, that what we are created for, to create little humans and provide for them. What I tend to find is I get too emotionally involved in those I care about, I feel their pain when things go wrong, I want to carry and nurture them to make sure they are pain free, but what you have to remember is everyone has to carry their own backpack. One of my friends pulled me aside the other day. With a lot of change happening in my life right now, it causes major unsettlement with emotions which causes you to over worry, over think and over emotionalise everything. She told me this story about your own backpack. Everyone has their own life backpack they have to carry. Everyones each individual backpack is pretty heavy, its full of everything in your life, your worries, your fears, your emotions, your trophies, your winnings, your dreams – everything. Everybody has one of these backpacks and everyones backpack is pretty darn full. You can’t unload someone else backpack onto yours, because how will you then be able to climb the hill? All you can do is hold their hand, support them, and encourage them to the top. SO here is my weekly motivation for you. If you are trying to help someone else unload their backpack. STOP. Support, cry with them, hold their Hand, encourage them BUT you cannot take on their backpack as well as your own. What I suggest for you this week is to support. If you can feel someone struggling, reach out. Ask them if they are okay, let them know you are there to support. Let them know that we can all talk about our backpacks, and we can all support each other. But remember you have enough in your backpack alone. You need to focus on that.

Lots of Love.

Jayne xxx

Change

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Change… the period of stepping out your comfort zone to challenge yourself in something new. This can be change in yourself, change in your life, change in your career, change in your focus. Change mostly petrifies people and causes an anxiety, as humans we are creatures of habit. We like to know what’s happening, what the next step is and to know we are in control of everything. Heard of the saying nothing happens when you sit inside the comfort zone. Magic only happens when you reach out and challenge yourself for something new.

Image result for comfort zone picture

Petrifying isn’t it… but what do you want to achieve with your life. Those that know me know I love to push a boundary. From major life changes and movements, I will always more than likely take the risk to reach for the chance to reach my wildest dreams…. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t but all the time at least I’m not sitting there on my butt waiting for. the magic to happen. SO change – what scares you? What excites you? Are you bored? Do you sit and dream about living your life a specific way and are too scared to leap… so “here’s to my dreamers, the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” — Steve Jobs, 1997

Make a leap, focus on what you want, embrace change, adore it, role with it, challenge yourself and live your dream daily. It all starts with one small step. Im about to embark on a new journey and change… I cannot wait!

Love Me x

Body Image: What’s positive about you?

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Ladies and gents, one thing that’s always a hot topic is body confidence and body image. For many years I was completely obsessed with having THE perfect body, or having THE leanest because that’s how I felt people judged me. Don’t get me wrong I find it hard in my 30’s not to wonder if the reason I’m single is I feel myself have the body of a child still and a lot of the time struggle to accept exactly how I look, but that’s another matter that I will come on too. But the bottom line is, yes we all want to strive to look a specific way and yes we may want a bigger bottom, a smaller waist or want abs, but with all these different body shapes come all sorts of beautiful people. Really what is the essential matter is what lies within yourself. The words you tell yourself, your words you tell others, the patience you give yourself and the kindness you give to yourself and others. I became so frustrated at my body this year I even decided I was DEFINITELY going to go and buy myself some boobs. Had the consultation, got everything sized up and then I stopped myself for a moment. What were the reasons I was doing it? It was because I was struggling to accept myself the way I was. I looked at all these woman around me, who looked like woman, and I couldn’t accept that I didn’t look like that. But what I represent and what I do is about helping others embrace their bodies and shining through from the inside. So I took a moment, roughly around about the time I went to Tenerife to take a step back and reflect on things. What are the things people tell me:
– I have incredible legs
– I have a pure heart
– I care about everyone
– I am passionate
– I am inspiring
– I have an amazing smile
– The best one I have ever had is I can light up the room with my positive aura.

When I stepped back I thought, if I was to get that done, I had to be doing it for me, not because It made me worry I wouldn’t meet someone who would accept me. Then it clicked, Someone who is meant for you will accept you exactly the way you are through everything. When I had the consultation and looked at my body with them I was like it looked weird. It looked weird because I spent so much time accepting my body as this tall, lean, athletic and thin looking human. For the first time in many years I was actually really healthy and happy with everything, especially in my approach to food. Other things were booming for me, my career, my friendships so really why was I standing there beating myself up about having a body surrounding a heart that can give so deeply to everything I do. So why am I writing this. I am writing this because we all face these issues. We all face times we just think I hate my body, I wish I was a specific size, I wish I had smaller this or bigger that. STOP… what I want you to do is take time out today to tell yourself what’s positive about you? What would you never give up about yourself? Who are you? What amazing things are happening for you right now? What do others say they would love about you? Focus on the positives, not physically but emotionally. Beauty and Bodies are only skin deep. Beauty fades, bodies change and when you are old and wrinkly you don’t want to look back and say I spent 30 years of my life hating on myself and not living life with vigour, fun and confidence. So go out there today, stop worrying about everyone else, start Walking proud whatever body shape you are, smile in the knowing that you are you, and that is the best version you could ever be.

All my Love
Jayne xx

Vulnerability

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“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”

Vulnerability – I hate the feeling of being vulnerable I don’t know anyone who doesn’t. It makes me feel exposed, fearful and anxious. But when we enable ourselves to be vulnerable we can create this incredible journey of facing our fears because let’s be honest most of our fears make us vulnerable. Usually one area of fear can have a massive uptake for the rest of our days – we need to remember bad moments should only be a moment not an entire day. I have been feeling very fearful lately of putting myself out there. My entire life this fear held me back from so many areas, and every leap forward really was facing so many fears. I had always been so afraid of being set up to be completely taken out with embarrassment – which lead back to an experience I went through at 6 (in my book), but even though I worked through it with a therapist I still battle with this idea of being made a joke of and being embarrassed with who I am. My way of dealing is setting a goal so large and absolutely smashing it out of the park so I tend to then create this empowerment trip to prove myself that I am not that person, which becomes very tiring and then we go round in this circle of self doubt, criticism, vulnerability, facing fears, creating empowerment, building strength and then restarting to doubt again as I envisage I am being the joker or irritating (which is exhausting and I tend to need a time out) and then the next empowerment trip starts (tiring reading it isn’t it). I get so many of you message me asking how I manage to seem to have it all together. Honest truth is – I don’t. No one really has everything together, but what I am really good at is creating a strategy and path and being completely authentic throughout the whole process. Sometimes being honest doesn’t earn me the best brownie points as I tend to say what I think – something I used to be so afraid of to fit in…. WHAT is the point in trying to fit in when we are all meant to be unique? So here is my little Monday motivation for you. Everyone is facing a battle you might not know about – whether thats relationships, self esteem, career, body, mind, loneliness, fears, mental health… what we can all do is be more authentic? Be vulnerable, be the courage. Don’t inspire others by being perfect, inspire others by how you deal with your imperfections. Just listen… to your heart, to your head and be kind to yourself and those around you ❤ Happy Monday!

Strategy to Taking Control of Your Fear

  1. Breathe
  2. Remind Yourself That You Can Handle Anything
  3. Remember bad moments are only a moments
  4. Feelings and emotions are temporary
  5. You can only manage what’s in your control – other people are not!  Focus on all that only you can control and that is your own emotions and headspace. 

Stop Chasing The Waves

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Yes… ME! Learning to let the waves come to me and not chase them! Meaning I need to learn to be patient… and learn to stop time incase I miss things. Life is so precious and we spend so much time chasing things… Career Success, Love, Money, Glory, Image, Perfection – how often do you take time to just be in the moment? How often have you been impatient and its caused things to break down, or you have missed a vital piece of information, or been misinformed because you haven’t waited for the whole picture before jumping to conclusions? How often have you wanted the answers NOW and not waited for them to find you? Yes I am guilty of all the above. Of putting career before relationships. Of chasing perfection rather than embracing what I have. For fearing hurt/abandonment and jumping to conclusions in relationships. None of us are perfect but what we can is recognise these things. Take time to just watch the waves.

Take time to allow the waves to come to you, see the full picture, understand the process. Work on what you love while you do it… learn to embrace you and your time. Be alone in your head and it not be scary. Embrace your space, laugh with your friends, worry less live more! Work hard but remember that you need to play too. Be brave enough to be vulnerable, be brave to trust what your gut is saying without jeopardising your worth. Be brave to say you are worth the wait to achieve great things, but you have to go through process. There is no short cuts, so stop chasing the waves. They eventually reach the shore in a calm, beautiful manor!


So for now… laugh in the confusion, embrace the moments, live your life, but still visualise your dreams. Be patient in the process and dance your way to happiness, all in the knowing that the waves will eventually reach the shore, in the right time, in the right moment exactly the way it was meant to be.

All my Love

Jayne xxxx

Promise Yourself

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Promise Yourself✨✨

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To Worry less and live more 🤪

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To keep your heart kind in a world that tries to break it down 💕

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To keep breathing when you want to stop and fight for every breath 🥇

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To remember pain is temporary it will eventually go away 🤜🏼

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To always love with an open heart and be strong when it breaks… you are strong and it will always heal 💝

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To get back up everytime you are knocked down because you have that power 🗽

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To remember you are more powerful than you know and smarter than you think 🤓

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The best views are from the top of the mountain keep on climbing 🏃🏽‍♀️

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To remind yourself that having a kind heart in this world is a strength not a weakness 💫

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To never judge others based on situation and To help lighten up others lives by lighting up your own 🌟

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Cherish those that mean the most to you always 💑

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Embrace every person, moment and situation as you never know when it happen again and Never end a day on an argument because you never know when you might not wake up 😔

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Love each day like it’s the best day on earth because life is beautiful and it’s a wonderful time to be alive 😍

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Education is powerful and the world is your teacher embrace it 🙌🏽

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You can achieve whatever it is you want to achieve you just need to believe a little bit more… you are you and that is your super power… ✨

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All my love.

Me x

You Were Born to Be Real Not Perfect

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Are you a sufferer of perfectionism? I know I am! Something I battle on a day to day basis. From striving to be a top 2%er and striving for excellence in everything (work, life, friendships, relationship) I have to try and not allow my mind to overthink it, over plan it and overanalyse everything. Sitting writing this as my flight Is delayed in the airport for a solo escape to get some rejuvenation and refresh my mind and body. We can be a nightmare to live with or be friends with. My major level of perfectionism is planning everything down to smallest T. I hate starting my day without a plan. Plans keep me motivated, keep me regimented and keep me on time! But from time to time we mess it up, the plan doesn’t happen, you have a rough day, you feel not so positive, but what do you do? You bounce back – usually with massive vengeance. I struggle sometimes to embrace when times are a bit tougher or I am hurting… mostly due to the fact that I like to be that beacon, that hope, that light and positive smile. You can inspire more people by being real and sharing you experiences than pretending it is all okay. I love this phrase above, you were born to be real, not to be perfect. So here is me being real. I am taking a few days out from life to get my soul right and rest my head and heart. Ill be back bigger and better with a fresh outlook, positive mindset and renewed energy! It’s okay to admit it and it’s okay to take a step back and put yourself first.

If you are struggling at the moment to find calm within you. It is okay to just be real. Speak about it, talk it through, write it down, ride the waves of emotions and remember to take time for you. Take time out to remember who you are, what you need and how you can keep a smile on your face.

Lots of love

Jayne xxx