How often do you take on others problems and try to help them solve them? So often we take on the toils of others out of pure love to ensure they are safe and out of harm. When you work in an industry where helping people is your main trade you tend to bring this into your personal life too. Part of the hardest thing about being in industries where helping other is your key focus is where do your create that boundary. People are drawn to you because you are a helper, you are nice but then tend to drop you as soon as you are unnecessary. As humans its a natural instinct to be wanted to be needed. We like the idea that someone wants us or needs us. Especially as females we are providers, that what we are created for, to create little humans and provide for them. What I tend to find is I get too emotionally involved in those I care about, I feel their pain when things go wrong, I want to carry and nurture them to make sure they are pain free, but what you have to remember is everyone has to carry their own backpack. One of my friends pulled me aside the other day. With a lot of change happening in my life right now, it causes major unsettlement with emotions which causes you to over worry, over think and over emotionalise everything. She told me this story about your own backpack. Everyone has their own life backpack they have to carry. Everyones each individual backpack is pretty heavy, its full of everything in your life, your worries, your fears, your emotions, your trophies, your winnings, your dreams – everything. Everybody has one of these backpacks and everyones backpack is pretty darn full. You can’t unload someone else backpack onto yours, because how will you then be able to climb the hill? All you can do is hold their hand, support them, and encourage them to the top. SO here is my weekly motivation for you. If you are trying to help someone else unload their backpack. STOP. Support, cry with them, hold their Hand, encourage them BUT you cannot take on their backpack as well as your own. What I suggest for you this week is to support. If you can feel someone struggling, reach out. Ask them if they are okay, let them know you are there to support. Let them know that we can all talk about our backpacks, and we can all support each other. But remember you have enough in your backpack alone. You need to focus on that.
Change… the period of stepping out your comfort zone to challenge yourself in something new. This can be change in yourself, change in your life, change in your career, change in your focus. Change mostly petrifies people and causes an anxiety, as humans we are creatures of habit. We like to know what’s happening, what the next step is and to know we are in control of everything. Heard of the saying nothing happens when you sit inside the comfort zone. Magic only happens when you reach out and challenge yourself for something new.
Petrifying isn’t it… but what do you want to achieve with your life. Those that know me know I love to push a boundary. From major life changes and movements, I will always more than likely take the risk to reach for the chance to reach my wildest dreams…. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t but all the time at least I’m not sitting there on my butt waiting for. the magic to happen. SO change – what scares you? What excites you? Are you bored? Do you sit and dream about living your life a specific way and are too scared to leap… so “here’s to my dreamers, the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” — Steve Jobs, 1997
Make a leap, focus on what you want, embrace change, adore it, role with it, challenge yourself and live your dream daily. It all starts with one small step. Im about to embark on a new journey and change… I cannot wait!
Ladies and gents, one thing that’s always a hot topic is body confidence and body image. For many years I was completely obsessed with having THE perfect body, or having THE leanest because that’s how I felt people judged me. Don’t get me wrong I find it hard in my 30’s not to wonder if the reason I’m single is I feel myself have the body of a child still and a lot of the time struggle to accept exactly how I look, but that’s another matter that I will come on too. But the bottom line is, yes we all want to strive to look a specific way and yes we may want a bigger bottom, a smaller waist or want abs, but with all these different body shapes come all sorts of beautiful people. Really what is the essential matter is what lies within yourself. The words you tell yourself, your words you tell others, the patience you give yourself and the kindness you give to yourself and others. I became so frustrated at my body this year I even decided I was DEFINITELY going to go and buy myself some boobs. Had the consultation, got everything sized up and then I stopped myself for a moment. What were the reasons I was doing it? It was because I was struggling to accept myself the way I was. I looked at all these woman around me, who looked like woman, and I couldn’t accept that I didn’t look like that. But what I represent and what I do is about helping others embrace their bodies and shining through from the inside. So I took a moment, roughly around about the time I went to Tenerife to take a step back and reflect on things. What are the things people tell me: – I have incredible legs – I have a pure heart – I care about everyone – I am passionate – I am inspiring – I have an amazing smile – The best one I have ever had is I can light up the room with my positive aura.
When I stepped back I thought, if I was to get that done, I had to be doing it for me, not because It made me worry I wouldn’t meet someone who would accept me. Then it clicked, Someone who is meant for you will accept you exactly the way you are through everything. When I had the consultation and looked at my body with them I was like it looked weird. It looked weird because I spent so much time accepting my body as this tall, lean, athletic and thin looking human. For the first time in many years I was actually really healthy and happy with everything, especially in my approach to food. Other things were booming for me, my career, my friendships so really why was I standing there beating myself up about having a body surrounding a heart that can give so deeply to everything I do. So why am I writing this. I am writing this because we all face these issues. We all face times we just think I hate my body, I wish I was a specific size, I wish I had smaller this or bigger that. STOP… what I want you to do is take time out today to tell yourself what’s positive about you? What would you never give up about yourself? Who are you? What amazing things are happening for you right now? What do others say they would love about you? Focus on the positives, not physically but emotionally. Beauty and Bodies are only skin deep. Beauty fades, bodies change and when you are old and wrinkly you don’t want to look back and say I spent 30 years of my life hating on myself and not living life with vigour, fun and confidence. So go out there today, stop worrying about everyone else, start Walking proud whatever body shape you are, smile in the knowing that you are you, and that is the best version you could ever be.
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”
Vulnerability – I hate the feeling of being vulnerable I don’t know anyone who doesn’t. It makes me feel exposed, fearful and anxious. But when we enable ourselves to be vulnerable we can create this incredible journey of facing our fears because let’s be honest most of our fears make us vulnerable. Usually one area of fear can have a massive uptake for the rest of our days – we need to remember bad moments should only be a moment not an entire day. I have been feeling very fearful lately of putting myself out there. My entire life this fear held me back from so many areas, and every leap forward really was facing so many fears. I had always been so afraid of being set up to be completely taken out with embarrassment – which lead back to an experience I went through at 6 (in my book), but even though I worked through it with a therapist I still battle with this idea of being made a joke of and being embarrassed with who I am. My way of dealing is setting a goal so large and absolutely smashing it out of the park so I tend to then create this empowerment trip to prove myself that I am not that person, which becomes very tiring and then we go round in this circle of self doubt, criticism, vulnerability, facing fears, creating empowerment, building strength and then restarting to doubt again as I envisage I am being the joker or irritating (which is exhausting and I tend to need a time out) and then the next empowerment trip starts (tiring reading it isn’t it). I get so many of you message me asking how I manage to seem to have it all together. Honest truth is – I don’t. No one really has everything together, but what I am really good at is creating a strategy and path and being completely authentic throughout the whole process. Sometimes being honest doesn’t earn me the best brownie points as I tend to say what I think – something I used to be so afraid of to fit in…. WHAT is the point in trying to fit in when we are all meant to be unique? So here is my little Monday motivation for you. Everyone is facing a battle you might not know about – whether thats relationships, self esteem, career, body, mind, loneliness, fears, mental health… what we can all do is be more authentic? Be vulnerable, be the courage. Don’t inspire others by being perfect, inspire others by how you deal with your imperfections. Just listen… to your heart, to your head and be kind to yourself and those around you ❤ Happy Monday!
Strategy to Taking Control of Your Fear
Remind Yourself That You Can Handle Anything
Remember bad moments are only a moments
Feelings and emotions are temporary
You can only manage what’s in your control – other people are not! Focus on all that only you can control and that is your own emotions and headspace.
Yes… ME! Learning to let the waves come to me and not chase them! Meaning I need to learn to be patient… and learn to stop time incase I miss things. Life is so precious and we spend so much time chasing things… Career Success, Love, Money, Glory, Image, Perfection – how often do you take time to just be in the moment? How often have you been impatient and its caused things to break down, or you have missed a vital piece of information, or been misinformed because you haven’t waited for the whole picture before jumping to conclusions? How often have you wanted the answers NOW and not waited for them to find you? Yes I am guilty of all the above. Of putting career before relationships. Of chasing perfection rather than embracing what I have. For fearing hurt/abandonment and jumping to conclusions in relationships. None of us are perfect but what we can is recognise these things. Take time to just watch the waves.
Take time to allow the waves to come to you, see the full picture, understand the process. Work on what you love while you do it… learn to embrace you and your time. Be alone in your head and it not be scary. Embrace your space, laugh with your friends, worry less live more! Work hard but remember that you need to play too. Be brave enough to be vulnerable, be brave to trust what your gut is saying without jeopardising your worth. Be brave to say you are worth the wait to achieve great things, but you have to go through process. There is no short cuts, so stop chasing the waves. They eventually reach the shore in a calm, beautiful manor!
So for now… laugh in the confusion, embrace the moments, live your life, but still visualise your dreams. Be patient in the process and dance your way to happiness, all in the knowing that the waves will eventually reach the shore, in the right time, in the right moment exactly the way it was meant to be.
Are you a sufferer of perfectionism? I know I am! Something I battle on a day to day basis. From striving to be a top 2%er and striving for excellence in everything (work, life, friendships, relationship) I have to try and not allow my mind to overthink it, over plan it and overanalyse everything. Sitting writing this as my flight Is delayed in the airport for a solo escape to get some rejuvenation and refresh my mind and body. We can be a nightmare to live with or be friends with. My major level of perfectionism is planning everything down to smallest T. I hate starting my day without a plan. Plans keep me motivated, keep me regimented and keep me on time! But from time to time we mess it up, the plan doesn’t happen, you have a rough day, you feel not so positive, but what do you do? You bounce back – usually with massive vengeance. I struggle sometimes to embrace when times are a bit tougher or I am hurting… mostly due to the fact that I like to be that beacon, that hope, that light and positive smile. You can inspire more people by being real and sharing you experiences than pretending it is all okay. I love this phrase above, you were born to be real, not to be perfect. So here is me being real. I am taking a few days out from life to get my soul right and rest my head and heart. Ill be back bigger and better with a fresh outlook, positive mindset and renewed energy! It’s okay to admit it and it’s okay to take a step back and put yourself first.
If you are struggling at the moment to find calm within you. It is okay to just be real. Speak about it, talk it through, write it down, ride the waves of emotions and remember to take time for you. Take time out to remember who you are, what you need and how you can keep a smile on your face.
“Reading…? I mean who has time for that?” Used to be me, as I sat and watched endless episodes of breaking bad and prison break on an evening when returning from a busy day with clients. I hadn’t read a book in years apart from skimming university books for my masters degree for the knowledge I needed to know. I was literally letting my brain and life be consumed by reality tv. Didn’t have much substance behind me and I found myself being the joke of the party again just like I was at school for being the non intelligent one. Great! I really hated being that person. One of my friends had given me a book called “The Slight Edge” by Jeff Olson for my 26th Birthday and for 1.5 years… I didn’t it up. I thought why on earth has someone bought me a book I HATE reading, I don’t have time to read, who has time to read and what on earth can I learn from a self development book that I can’t learn by just being out and about and talking to people. Truth is, I was never very academic. My attention span was so low I would just get distracted. But when you looked at every element I would spend hours scrolling through social media, watching rubbish TV, when really I could pick up a book and develop my mind for 10 minutes. It took me to hit a real low point in my life at the end of 2016. I just felt completely lost, confused, alone, didn’t really get where life was going, didn’t really know where I fitted in but I knew I needed to make a change. But where did I start? I mean when I describe this low… I wrote a message to mind in an alert as I didn’t feel I had anywhere else to turn. I truly started to Hate who I had become, the choices I was making, the life I was choosing for myself. I had lost complete sight of who I was. I ordered a “Happiness Planner”… I thought yeah good place to start. But it wasn’t enough, then this book which has sat in my drawer for 2 years I was like I will give it a go. I don’t want to be out every night, I didn’t even want to talk to anyone, I just wanted to figure things out and figure out what I needed to change. I started researching some of the greatest world renowned motivational speakers the likes of Tony Robbins and Robin Sharma. Education and reading seemed to be a key so off I went on my journey to the Slight Edge. It was life changing. This book gave me so much insight into what was going on in my head I couldn’t believe it. I read it again straight away before picking up another book which has been sitting on my shelf for years… The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters. This book BLEW my mind! Our brains are so complicated and unless we manage irrationality it will rule our lives! Before moving onto another recommendation The Compound Effect and this book literally changed my view on EVERYTHING! This book helped me implement strategies to help me manage my emotions morning and evening. Rules of thumb to help me ensure I was living positively and purposefully. Ways to manage situations and relationships that are toxic and time management with that. It helped me realise that I only need to read 10 pages a day… that’s all just 10 pages… do you know that’s 36,500 more pages of information by the end of the year from only a 15 minute routine every morning! CRAZY! It made me start to think about the compound effect of finances, life choices, relationships, self talk, training and so on! I was EMPOWERED! So yes you get the gist, if you are struggling to get into reading and Before I keep rambling on here is my TOP 10 Books I recommend for you to really impact and empower your life!
I am here to tell you not a lot of us haha! I got asked the other day, Jayne what is your 5 year plan and for the first time in a long time I froze and panicked! OMG I do not know what my 5 year plan is anymore, I have been DRIFTING!!!!!!!!!! I am a massive planner, like I know its frustrating for others how much I need to know what’s going on. I am not very good at just going along with day to day without a structure and plan in place. The key thing being because I just don’t want to miss anything. People, moments, work, training, food haha (yes you laugh if I don’t plan in food I might get too busy and forget). I like to fully live life and have a plan so I can see everyone In my life but sometimes it gets too much and I panic.
How many times have you found yourself there? Lost in the darkness unsure of where it is your life is steered. At 30 sometimes I despair at where my life is going, am I on the right path, trying to get back in sync with my vibe and ensure I am “flowing”. Oh yes, we have all heard it, get in your flow and everything will be okay… be patient everything is a work in process… your prince charming is round the corner… okay thanks… Mum that doesn’t help me right now (wondering if I may actually be the real life Bridget Jones) **haha chuckles of laughter**…. Okay we laugh, Maybe a little bit of an exaggeration but sometimes if you don’t laugh you might cry so it is always best to laugh and smile and maybe have an (awkward silence) but you get the gist. Any ladies or gents out there you may know this feeling and even those in relationships and couples. Are you in the right place, are you with the right person. Or career wise, are you In the right place? Are you on the right path? Are you working to live or living to work?
I adore the people in my life who seem to have it all figured out, their aura so strong and powerful with satisfaction and focus. The relationships of couples I know where all your feel there is pure love and complete adoration. I sometimes struggle at wondering if that will eventually be me one day and if someone will be able to put up with my complete stubbornness to loving to have a plan and meticulous and annoying drive for grabbing everything with 2 hands and going full pelt…. But what is the plan? THIS IS BREAKING NEWS Ladies and gents and I am here to tell you something BIG…. Are you ready for it?
THERE IS NO PLAN!!!
I know…. “WHAT?? NO PLAN” I hear you say… what are we all going to do? Surely this is how we base life… But the plan is you CREATE your own plan and your story! Wow… I know… I find it crazy writing that (crazy planner woman over here) but each day is an opportunity to create your plan. To write your story, to find your path, to make a change, to improve your life, to find love, to be love, to LIVE! What a great thing that each morning you wake up, you breathe in fresh air and have the opportunity every morning to do something with your life, to inspire others with your life, to help others, to help yourself and most importantly to find your power in yourself. This is part of the opening to my new book. Find Your Power which is currently in the process of the plan… and yes this plan has been sitting there for 10 months. It’s taken me 10 months to get round to reminding myself I am at my happiest creating. I am assuming you have all seen PS. I love you? The part of the movie that she is telling Gerry she was born to create. This sounds ridiculous but as I watched this movie in December for the first time in years this quote has stuck with me, the theme song and everything has given me some weird sense of creativity back, like a chord struck. Writing is my creativity and I love it and it helps me help you guys and girls, it also helps me create speaking content to deliver epic talks and speeches. It helps me remember who I am, what I stand for and who I want to be. What is your creativity? Where do you want to go?
Key Thing: It isn’t about the perfect plan, the perfect life, the perfect Flow, the perfect image, the perfect balance. It’s about just being. Something I am trying to do… just be! Its about accepting that you have flaws and understanding what you can do about it, but embracing that you can’t always be perfect. It’s about knowing that no matter what judgement comes your way, you can only be true to who you are. It’s about accepting what will be will be. You can’t force situations, you can only nourish them. It’s about being patient, when you want to rush, and about being calm when you want to blow! It’s about being present right now in this moment and embracing its all step by step, moment by moment, day by day, week on week, year by year.
What is the point in this blog for you? To help you relax, to calm, to flow, just as much a post for me as it is for you. If you are reading this and you are in a momentary lapse of – I am not at the right point in my life. I am not where I need to be… STOP! Don’t panic! You are exactly where you need to be right at this moment in time. Whatever confusion you are going through, whatever success you are feeling, whatever pain you are potentially going through, what is it teaching you? It’s not a negative, it is there for a reason to help you grow, to help you flow and to help you understand what you need more of in your life or less of in your life, people, hobbies, places, air. Whatever you are up to this Wednesday, take time to understand your silence. Take time to get comfortable in it. Time to understand it is good for you. Time to understand the more silent you are the more you can hear, the more you can create, the more you can become clear and the more you can get comfortable in being yourself. Remember you are 90% of how you react to the 10% of life you cannot control. Life is too short to live in fear and doubt and a lack of self love. I am on this journey with you the whole way. Take some time out to create your silence and find some peace.
Sweat… the love hate relationship most people have in life – Do we want to sweat? Do we not want to sweat? Do we enjoy the pain? Do we not enjoy the pain? The relationship that as trainers we try to help you get positive connotations with the fact that is it not just good for you body but also your mind too! Every time I take on a new client or teach a class, clients cannot believe how good they feel after, mind, body and spirit! woohooo!
Yes, you may look at me and my energy and sigh because yes I have had it lucky, exercise is an engrained part of my life, it always has been and always will be since I was a little tot, setting myself time goals when I was 6 to how quick I could run to the end of the street and back like a loser!
The hardest part of it all is forcing yourself to get out and do it… and that’s just it so many of us just don’t do it! For some of us exercising comes naturally and it takes a little more time. For me that’s things such as retaining information – such as at school I had to study for weeks and months to try and retain information it just wasn’t natural for me! I only ever wanted to be doing sport. It’s the same sort of thing if you aren’t natural to fitness but you can train yourself to understand and love it because SWEATING is so good for you! Scientifically has been proven to reduce your stress and anxiety! There is so many ways you can get into a community and environment too. I get quite a few of you messaging me regarding training, classes and anything fitness related. I am going to breakdown my top 5 training sessions in London for you on here that will enable you to break down your barriers to fitness!
Easy and Convenient: Running
There are so many awesome parks in London that you can start your fitness journey. 2 Benefits you are getting outdoors and embracing nature. You can take it completely at your own pace. My favourite places are at Battersea Park and Hampstead Heath. I have Started doing some track sessions also at Paddington Track which is all for FREE! How incredible is that. If you want more guidance on running please get in touch on email@example.com.
Group Community & Overall Body Goals: F45 Training (Kensington Olympia)
Obviously I am biased here but I only got introduced to F45 when I took on my position. When I first went to try an F45 I wasn’t so sure but once I went and trained up and looking at exactly how it is all programmed at HQ I was so impressed at the amount of detailing goes in. What I love personally about our studio is the community environment we have managed to create. I have such an incredible team of trainers who want to make your experience the best yet!! With different workouts on different days, we target each of your training systems to ensure you have a really good full body workout everyday!
Yes you have all seen on my instagram the LOVE for the Versa Climber! Why?? Because it’s something that is SO good for your cardio vascular system without the impact of running or for me the boringness of running and yes its tough!! But its so good! The music and the vibe in the classes are unreal with carefully thought out playlists which is incredible and motivating! Honestly if you haven’t tried this class you need to try it! You can buy a Trial Sweat Pack here. I would say you need to do at least 3 climbs to get into the swing of it but I promise you… once you get it you will be wanting to get back for more and the whole facility is just incredible. Get down and check it out and you might even find yourself signing up for the Vertical Mile Challenge!
For the Fitness Fanatic: Barrys Bootcamp West
I was introduced to Barrys by a dear friend of mine when I was going through a bit of a tough time in my life. When I started at Barrys I was like WOW this is literally incredible! It was THE ultimate stress buster for me mostly because I just love the treadmill, but the workouts were literally pushing me to my absolute maximum and my favourite instructor Connor knew when I was slacking so he wouldn’t let me slow down! Everyone around me was so fit aswell which was amazing. The good thing about Barrys is the different levels that are on offer to you, beginner, intermediate and advanced for both the treadmill and the weights. If you are feeling intimidated don’t be worried there are different levels for you to start on. The instructors are all amazing: Connor, Jason, Izy, Jay C just to name a few – I think If you haven’t tried one I would recommend going down to see what all the buzz is about.
For the stress head: Kobox
What I love about Kobox is the opportunity to go HARD on the bags but also get a full body workout too. If you haven’t tried boxing before then this is a great place to start. It is non intimidating, the instructors and staff are super friendly and it’s a great combination of on the bag and off the bag. The classes are intense, but again are adaptable to all levels so please don’t let this put you off. They have an intro pack aswell on their website so even just try a couple of classes out.
Key things from this post:
There are so many opportunities to sweat around you! Not all of them you are going to like so find what one works best for you. Neutralise the serotonin levels in your body and feel better with the endorphin release you get from exercising. Sweat is sexy, its makes you glow, it makes you look good! Don’t be afraid. If you need a gym buddy you will find me at all of these places so get in touch and I will hook you up! So this week – work with the sweat! Feel it, embrace it, challenge it and find what works best for you! Come and check us out ASAP at Kensington Olympia – I promise you we will provide you with the friendliest and most fun environment yet. Lots of love,