Category: Life Coaching

Growth Mindset

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“If we are what we repeatedly do, then excellence is not an act, but a habit”

Aristotle

It’s said to take 10,000 hours to become a master of a skill…. athletes spend hours, weeks, days and months to get to that elite level and hopefully eventually reach their pinnacle performance. Years of behind the scenes, hurdles along the way, ups and downs, months of planning and preperation and YEARS of progressive QUALITY overload to become a master of their trade. The same can be said with a business, as a trainer, as a marketer, as a teacher, it may take thousands of hours and experience to claim yourself as a master. So let’s take a look on the maths of that – 10,000 hours is approximately 417 days. If you devote 3 hours per day it would be approximately 3333 days or a little over 9 years…. are you willing to do that? Or do you give up when it doesn’t all happen straight away? Or try something new and then come back? The all or nothing approach! That’s the problem we face in this day and age – it’s the age that we expect things to happen, we think we are putting in the hard work, but do we actually have the staying power to see it through? I talk about it alot – THE COMPOUND EFFECT. Doing small positive purposeful actions daily will over time create an upward curve. Its like the added up hours of what you have been practicing all of a sudden cumulate and you take that big leap forward. For example let’s take a high jumper. You spend months over your winter training period, doing conditioning work, strength training, loading up plyometrics, improve your power output and elasticity, and also technically working on different cues to get the small wins on your performance. You may spend years, and I mean years working on all the positive small things, for only maybe what seem like the smallest marginal gains. You may of jumped your Personal Best in say 2011, then been working on these small changes, and growth in strength, and technical queues that will enable you to jump higher, then the next year you don’t physically jump higher in competition. You go back into your winter season another gruelling year, then the next summer you see a 1cm increase, you think whats the point? Is all this training worth it, then you remind yourself why you started, you do that winter, and push it to the max and ensure you leave no stone unturned, then all of a sudden you see a 4cm improvement that season, which is the difference between going and not going to a major championship! Imagine you stopped the year earlier in frustration?

What does your best performance look like? This is relatable to all industries and in many areas of your life, whether it’s as an athlete, a dancer, a business owner, a personal trainer, a marketing expert, a life coach….. the list goes on – but being THE best they can be at their chosen discipline looks different from them all but actually the small instrumental methods and techniques you use in the interim to get to your best performance actually don’t differ greatly based on fundamentals.

Growth is hard, because growth means you have to expand, you have to step out of your comfort zone and feel uncomfortable. Growth is where you make progression, improve your business, improve your performance. Growth is learning how to maximise what you are doing by listening, reading, talking and implementing what you Think is the best solution for you. Growth isn’t linear, is isn’t all singing and dancing roses and sunshine. BUT growth is where you will understand how to perform better, interact more efficiently, increase your capacity and adapt to the uncomfortable feeling of being out of the safety zone. Many give up in that zone, because the growth isn’t as easy and as linear as you hoped it would be… so what do you choose? To perform to your best capabilities and grow… or are you content with where you are at?

The choice is yours!

Practice being excellent at where YOU want to excel, and your excellence will become a habit!

Motivation: How do we get motivated and stay motivated?

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How do we get it? How do we keep it? How do we understand it? Something I have always been super interested in. Why do we have days where we literally CBA and other days where we are literally crushing it on every angles. What are the stimulus and what are the drivers? I’m going to dive into motivation, common myths, motivational drivers and how to maximise them, create a plan and get yourself motivated daily! I recorded this on the weekend with the intention of posting it at a time where as humans are notoriously low on motivation – mid morning on Wednesdays! Now I’m not perfect, there is days I struggle too. But I hope by understanding them more you can get yourself in a positive mindset and understand what is driving you. ••• As this is a long video I have broken down the below for you so you know where everything is. ••• What is motivation: 00.00 – 01.50 Misconceptions: 01.54 Motivational drivers: 03.04 How to get motivated: 07.19 Optimal Motivation: 12.57 If you don’t have time now: save it, share it and like it if this will help you and let me know your thoughts 💫 #motivation #optimal #mindset #businesscoach #worklife #business #motivationalthoughts

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Busyness syndrome

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Have you ever been that person who has bragged about how busy they were?

Funnily enough I know a lot of us do, and I have been guilty of this in the past to. It’s as if being busy gives us validation for our existence. But let me ask you this? How much happiness has busyness brought you? Let’s be honest most of us at our busiest are under heightened stress, heightened emotions and just physically running off adrenaline until we crash and burn… but thats success right? …..recognise yourself?

Actually typing about this gives me slight anxiety. Busyness to me, was very much a part of my validation. I created busyness and almost chaos which enabled me to hide away from other things, because I was just too busy to have to deal with it. Being busy meant at least to most, came across that I was winning and really successful and proactively improving. Actually for many years, I stood pretty stagnant because I was juggling too many pots. I was over burdening my diary which constantly meant I kept missing things, I felt unfulfilled, panicked, chasing everything, minimising sleep, and eventually ending up in a total burnout… then I kept repeating the pattern. I had a sense that as long as I was busy I was achieving. I actually would frown upon those that weren’t busy, thinking ,”gosh, come on, get up and do something with your life.” Being constantly busy can be somewhat of a status symbol, but all in all it’s mostly hiding underlying route causes. But what are they? What are you afraid to face?

I’ve reflected on this the most during the past 3 months. I actually made a really bold statement that, I panic that I achieved so much in my 20’s i’m scared I won’t achieve the same in my 30’s which makes me cram everything in. I sickeningly would envy those that were more busy than me, and ensure I made myself busier to make myself feel more accomplished – Sad right? Most of you that have known me or followed me for years, the amount I was fitting into my day was sickening! It actually gives me palpitations thinking of it. When I moved to London, all new to the big bright city, I was living off almost only £15 per week food shop. Yep – Mad right! But somehow I managed to actually do it, but to live a live in London, get out and meet people, I had to work extra hours to earn extra pennies, which included my full time job which was commission based and then teaching from 9 – 5 every weekend, plus socialising Thursday – Saturday evenings having a minimised amount of sleep of maybe 3 – 4 hours sleep per evening… and I wondered why my body broke down on me 5 months into Living in London… Sure! Being busy, created stress, but it also enabled me to feel like I had a purpose, so also my mechanism for when stressful periods arose I would then create busyness to deal with the stress adding extra stress, but it didn’t matter because at least I had a purpose…. ever heard of a busy fool? That was me! Hello!

I wanted to write about this as it is something I witness and myself have known and guilty of, and its so prevalent in our day to day society and something I am trying to improve without feeling guilty… constant busyness! How many of you have felt less stressed, more connected to your partner/relationships/family, more fulfilled, skin and bodies feel fresh, and you can actually have time to do some hobbies too since lockdown? Vast majority of most people! Maybe coronavirus was a blessing in our fast paced world thats killing our environment that we need to take more time to be mindful and more connected to whats going on around us. Being busy and over scheduling our diaries is something that can actually have harmful effects on many areas of your life: health, relationships, longevity, mental wellbeing. Maybe it’s time to take a step back and identify why you are creating so much busyness in your life.

Identifying Busyness

A few months back, I had started delving back into self development. I had gone through quite a stressful period at the back end of 2019 that meant I had really started to ramp up my busyness through many means – personal training, appointments, teaching, exercising and also ensuring I gave time to my amazing other half. My days would go like this, wake up at 4.45am, run to Barrys Bootcamp for 6am, Do Barry’s Bootcamp, Go to work for 8am, leave work by 4.30pm, clients/students till 8pm, travel home, cook dinner, spend time with my other half from September, bed by midnight, then repeat, followed by every 2nd weekend teaching courses. This had been consistent from May to end of October. Compounding months of trying to just get through, but stay busy. I had got to the point also if I didn’t have something in my diary, I would panic and book something in. Then alot of the time for social situations i’d be so exhausted from keeping up a front I wouldn’t be able to make it, or i’d only be there in body not spirit. What sort of life is that? Then my body woke me up. I physically couldn’t stay away. I had to take 3 weeks out. 3 weeks!!! I know those that are reading this – it panics me too. But I also realised, I need to stop this trend – being busy is great BUT also you need to appreciate and learn that not doing things is also great too and will benefit you also in the long run. So who wants to beat the feeling of guilt that comes with it all?

How to deal with feeling of guilt if you are not busy

This is something I am still learning, but also something I am greatly aware of. When others have said I am just so busy, my first initial reaction is, “URGHHH shit, I am not doing enough, I need to plan and get a million things done right at once,” then I take a moment to breathe and remind myself that, there’s no point being a busy fool. How do I deal with it: write out the things I would be happy to achieve today. Put end dates on things, and prioritise in those orders, rather than promising everything for that moment, within a couple of hours. I also put a priority on things I know make me feel accomplished such as running, so that needs to be a priority in my day – so how do I start every morning – doing exercise. Then I set myself the task to not sit at my desk before 8.30 and when I do I spend my first 10 minutes just going through my task list and picking out the things that need to be done that day, but not over burdening with 2 page worths of MUST DO NOW. The overall result – achieving so much more, feel happier, look happier, eat better, sleep better – okay who doesn’t want that?

So if you recognise yourself in the above, I want you to give yourself permission to slow down, relax and enjoy your life a little more. This is harder than it seems, especially if you are someone who is heavily involved with social media. Make a commitment to being more intentional in your life regarding your efforts, and choosing what you want to be a part of is crucial. You will also need to find your inner “no” and become comfortable with the idea that you don’t have to be part of everything, you are not the only one who can do things, and people won’t think less of you for choosing to sit something out.

What I want you to take away from this. It is okay to enjoy life, in-fact its more than okay! It’s EXCELLENT and life is there to be enjoyed and also work hard, BUT don’t compromise your livelihood and longevity by chucking away these years and being super busy all the time. Slow down a little, try and save more AND by saving more, means you can actually take more breaks and get aways. You are here for the long run, sometimes you need to be kind to yourself as well as pushing yourself and you make life the best experience it can be… don’t let years pass without finding happiness in your day to day. Life is for living.

Would you rather turn round at 90 and say, “I can’t believe I did that” or “I wish I did that”. It’s time to embrace balance and know that it’s okay to give yourself permission to switch off.

All my love,

Jayne x

True to You

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“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let out true selves be seen.”

Brene Brown

There is a reason Michael Jordan is one the most successful sportsman of all time…. he was uniquely authentic to who he was, no matter the situation. This is reiterated in one of his famous quotes, “Authenticity is about being true to who you are.” Okay, yes of course, especially when you watch back some of the footage… he was an INSANELY talented basketball player, but being talented doesn’t make you successful. It is mad when you think about it… he is one of the most successful sports people ever in an era way before social media and our modern technology. He created a brand for himself that still makes him stand out above the current generation of athletes. His authenticity and passion towards what he did created the legend that he is, and the same with Usain Bolt. He was making waves just by being true to who he was and what he believed in – no gimmicks, no materialistic needs, just him, his team and undeniable passion. With this leads to the fact now they are not just sportsman. Their sport lead them to become truly successful businessmen and their brand becoming huge. When we think about Jordans deal with Nike – he showed loyalty and built a relationship over time through trust and authenticity which sees 36 years later after he first signed with Nike in 1984, to the current day, he has just hit 3.1 billion in profit last year just from Nike alone. That’s from the franchise of Jordan in 2004.

People LOVE authenticity. When people put on the Jordan shoes they want to be like Michael Jordan – I think even more so now after the last dance Netflix documentary. This is what you need for your business, when people step into your business you want them to be like, ” HEY, I’m part of this business, I’m proud, I wan’t to tell everyone that I’m part of it,” and how do we do that? Through authenticity, trust and building strong relatable relationships with whom your customers are.


So when we think of authenticity to who you are, and authenticity to your consumer, providing information for what your consumers needs and wants are…. Your brand needs to be authentic to the needs of your clients. For example as a coach, we speak about what is it that your clients struggle with, what are their pain points, what is it they ask you the most that they want to know… there is your marketing strategy right there. Help your audience through their pain points, by

So here is a question for you….

How often have you gone to say something/post something/write an email/text and thought and paused for a moment and thought, “I’m not going to say that because…. 1) they will probably think it’s a ridiculous idea, 2) Will this person disagree, 3) People will just think what a know it all 4) fill the blank.”

Essentially how many times have you stopped yourself from saying or doing something out of the fear of what someone else might think? YES, I can see all those hands up, we have all done it… then How many times have you regretted that you didn’t do or say anything because now YOU don’t feel like you are being authentic to you? YES, I can see all those hands going up again.

These above are all just little stories going around in your head. I got this of one of my best friends and amazing life coach – www.lucyspicer.com. I did a session with Lucy, as I still sometimes feel those fears and those stories now, so I have to take some time every so often to remind myself that being authentically me is how I need to be. If you have something you want to say that you genuinely believe could be of value or help – just say it. Obviously of course, if it is going to genuinely upset someone maybe have more tact how you approach it. Just be assured that people will respect you so much more for doing that AND you also set the boundaries for yourself in any relationships because people know where they stand and then everything is all just a little bit rosier. Michael Jordan for example – I don’t know if any of you have watched his latest documentary (if you are reading this and you haven’t I highly recommend you do), but the reason he was so awe inspiring as that he was just himself, upfront, straight to the point, some people liked him, some were afraid BUT everyone knew where they stood with him and he became one of the most well recognised sports stars in history.

So here’s the next question: If there was one thing you could do right now that you have held back on and not voiced what would that be? Is there something you have been wanting to say or shout about but you have been afraid to do so? Why don’t you take this as your sign to take the leap and do it. Is it something to do with something amazing you have achieved this week – literally could be as simple as you are really pleased because this week you have done exercise every day, OR this week I stuck to my spending budget, or this week I really focused on my turning my passion into my career and it’s really starting to come together.

For so many years, while I was stuck in my eating disorder I created habits that would tell me I wasn’t good enough, right through to walking out onto the pitch for Glasgow 2014, I still had moments of doubt that everyone thought I was a joke. Something I have learnt to cope with and create methods and strategies to deal with it, BUT alot of that is about just being authentically you. That means on every level – social media, family, friends, work because the more you accept you and are kinder to you (and I mean not over criticising yourself every 2 seconds and reminding yourself you are worth your vo ice). So if you are reading this and you, right now, hold back a little, and dull yourself down to blend in… im here to say STOP! You have blended in for too long, and you need to relearn how to shine, and be authentically you because thats where you are going to be your happiest. So take some time over the next week, assessing whats holding you back from truly being your authentic most happiest self, but also take some time identifying what does truly make you happy. Do you ever have that feeling of wanting something more?

Task

I want you to try the below: The Bus Task from page 50 of my book, Free-ed.

Spend 10 – 15 minutes on each bus. Right now we are going to envision what it is you want to feel, see, the energy you want to emit and attract.

Bus 1:
Right now what makes you readjust yourself and be inauthentic – write in all the seats those things.
– ideas for example: inadequacy, fear, stress, and so on.
Then identify where those come from finance, friendship, work etc.

Identify situations you can change and ones that may just need adjustment. What about those stresses causes you to be inauthentic and why? Go on – WRITE it down.

Then write down now how you want to feel, how do you want your days to be, what your friendships will be and on bus 2 I want you write down what that looks like.

Bus 2
I want you to identify what would you need to do have on your team to be authentically you, authentically happy.

I know this task will be eye opening for a lot of you. From each of these tasks you then have the basis of your action plan. From there you can start to make small goals to get from Bus 1 to Bus 2.

Remember YOU deserve to live the life you imagine.

Final Words:
Authenticity isn’t about how popular you are, it isn’t about the number of likes on social media or the number of friends you have, trust me the more authentic you are the more genuine the above will be and you will watch yourself blossom and bloom.

If you are afraid and trust me I know this can be scary, here’s my quote for you:
“You attract the right things when you have a sense of who you are.” Amy Poehler

Just remember that, when you know who you are, you attract the energy you put out.

Sending all my love,

Jayne xx

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real

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Fear is a prevalent part of our day to day lives. If we aren’t living in it, we know someone else that may be, and it can sometimes be the thing that controls whether we take the leap or we don’t. I came across this topic this morning, as I was listening to Mel Robbins – Take Control of Your Life, and she talks about perfectionist in this part of the audiobook. How perfection, and the fear of not being perfect in our production of something can mean actually we never ever take that leap of faith, because it paralyses us. It sparked something in me that I wanted to write about it so here I am.

Imagine Neil Armstrong never took that leap to be the first man on the moon out of fear? It’s crazy to think that our fears can be SO powerful that they stop us from doing the things we potentially want to the most. It’s that knot wrenching feeling when you are about to take that leap, its the feeling of discomfort, it’s that feeling of not being good enough or being rejected, so you take a little step back because it’s more comfortable that way. It’s exactly the same as overcoming things such as mental health – it’s scary, because in the process you need to uncover alllllll these things you didn’t realise were affecting you.. but on the other side when you understand it all, your triggers, your pain points and create an understanding of how you can deal with them, then actually you are MUCH stronger, even though that journey is very painful. Fear normally comes from a situation you have faced previously that has left you with a unwanted mark, and unwanted feeling and behaviour you never want to feel again. When it happens your cortisol levels rise for about 90 seconds you have the opportunity to decide whether you are going to face that thing or you are not. It might take you a few attempts. But imagine this… the very thing you are fearing right now about making that next change in your life… imagine you didn’t face it? Imagine you didn’t create that life you wanted, speak to the person you wanted to tell them how you feel, apply for that job, speak up and show your ideas to your boss, pick up the phone and say sorry to someone, take that course, move to that city…. the list goes on… but just imagine… how would you feel if in 5 years time you didn’t take that leap right now to face that fear? One thing we have to focus on is not allowing your fear to take away your power.

Admitting your fear – it’s vulnerable. It can cripple you, and make you feel inadequate. Have you identified a fear? Everybody faces fear to some level, even the most powerful people in the world. So the acronym FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real. Most are fears are from evidence that caused pain in us when we were about 6 or 8 years old… Madness or a traumatic experience that you have gone through. Fear of failing and fear of embarrassment I think are super strong ones with most people. Listening through Mel’s podcast this morning took me back to a couple of things that stimulate on of my old fears – and also to an extent something that still causes me great discomfort, the fear of being ridiculed and being wrong, there bringing on a fear of asking for help. This goes WAY back to my childhood days, and something I speak about in my books, but a moment that is probably emphasised in my mind, but something that tormented me for a while, but didn’t come out till I had therapy for my eating disorder. After raising my hand in the classroom at 6 years old to ask for help, my teacher told me to not ask such stupid questions in front of the entire classroom. So firstly… you can imagine the shame, and you can imagine the laughs from all the other children surrounding me. I was 6 years old, how many 6 year olds ask enquiring questions? And how great is it that they want to enquire that what they are doing is correct? Fast forward 20 years… I was on an athletics course, and I remember messaging my mum after to say, “you will never guess what, I disagreed with something today on the course, and I knew I had 2 options, to sit still and allow the person to think they were right, or I raise my hand and put my point across… I raised my hand and validated my point, and guess what they agreed, and everyone else around me agreed with my point.” Can you imagine the backflips my stomach was taking while I raised my hand to this? OMG it was insane. My school reports every year said, “Jayne doesn’t contribute enough”, “Jayne doesn’t apply herself”, “Jayne needs to ask for help when she needs it”… I never ever did ask for help, even now, if I need support it’s deliberated over for a while before I reach out. Which is why writing a book and putting entire vulnerable self out there was SUPER scary. The day my book went to live, I was so nervous to hear about peoples views on it. You are setting yourself up to be torn down when you do that. But it proved to me that I was capable of being academic, and that prove to me that I had become a much stronger person. I felt the fear and I did it anyway.

Don’t let anyone else dictate your fears. I have been doing lots of reading recently as you have probably seen on my instagram, regarding personality types, and I have had many a giggle along the way, but this has enabled me to judge my personality more in different scenarios. I am VERY yellow – more yellow than I ever thought. But yellows can be the sort of personality that if you can’t please everyone or someone doesn’t like what you do, and they make it clear, you can take a real offence to it and want to ensure they do whatever it takes to please – something I need to work on and have been. So this leads me onto some fears, and why I am back. As many of you have messaged me to ask where I am on social media, and its been super nice to see me back on there which is lovely. Openly as I said in find your power blog 2 weeks ago – I have been living in the present and trying not to live through social media. I have found happiness and peace in life, with my home life and my job which is absolutely adore and has inspired me to be even more creative here. A lot of people have a fear of posting authenticity because of a fear that their life isn’t perfect but SO what if your life is or isn’t perfect, we would ALL rather see authenticity rather than the non real life. I used to be super open, honest and authentic as possible, but then something happened last summer that caused me to be embarrassed about my past, and think am I over sharing. Mostly a relation to my “history”. I was aware of any post I posted that it may of been ripped to pieces, and trolled, that the thing I was trying so hard to not be ashamed about and open up about was the one thing that was holding me back. The reason I started on social media in the first place was to try and help others overcome their past. Every-time I went to post, i’d always have a think do I want to post it, and I’d even go back through and delete if I thought was too much – ridiculous right. The thing I had been building up for so long – GONE! The community I had started to create GONE. Then one evening last October, I was out for dinner with a friend in the city and my boyfriend was working late, so I decided to stay on my own for a drink and do some work, while I waited for Ben to finish. A girl approached me across the room (I won’t say her name but she knows who she is) and said, “I know this is so random, but are you Jayne Nisbet, I recognise you, and I follow you on instagram. I just wanted to say thank you. You have inspired me to overcome my issues, and I ran my first half marathon 2 weeks ago, something I never thought I would do. Your daily videos inspire me, and I miss them. I hope you are okay.” This rang through me like a wake up call… The one thing I love doing is supporting and helping others to find their power, and there and then I was slowly losing mine. I missed writing, and I missed being creative. My boyfriend Ben, then reminded me. The reason I do these posts and the reason I write these blogs is that I want to help others overcome some of the things I may of gone through or or even currently going through. Which is exactly why I started.

SO here we are and here I am facing some of the fears again… So lets face the fears together…. What is it you are fearing at the moment?
Is it a fear of insecurity because of work? A fear of not being good enough? A fear of being rejected?

What do you want to achieve? What is stopping you? Messages on a postcard…. but let’s create a community together that enables us all to talk about those fears and work through them together… a problem shared is a problem halved right?

Head over to instagram: http://www.intagram.com/jaynenisbet and I will direct you to my Find Your Power Instagram Page which will be my little community.

All my love,

Jayne

Direction

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“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the girl who’ll decide where to go.”

Dr Seuss

Direction… What is yours?

I’ve found recently a lot of us, well at least those I know, are trying to address what their direction is. With the added downtime to our lives it gives us more time for reflection and that is INCREDIBLE but it can also be extremely overwhelming. Overwhelming to the point that it causes panic. When times get tough, the natural instinct is to survive, and at the moment a lot of that survival is “keeping busy”, “staying active”, “being proactive” and so on. I put these in inverted commas because they are short term solutions. Keeping busy is a distraction method, staying active without a purpose is a distraction method, being proactive is trying to keep busy sometimes and so the cycle continues. Why I head this as direction as, distraction is great, it is comfortable, it numbs the pain for a short period of time, but the issue with distraction is that it doesn’t get to the solution.

I was listening to a great podcast the other day with Ferne Cotton and Vex King, and they were talking point of Vex’s book – your vibrations and how the vibrations you emit obviously effect your mood. So If you are vibrating on a certain level then it can complete alter your vibe. For example if you are stressed and your vibrations and “stressy”, you will probably bringing back stress as you emit stressful signals to those around you, which causes more stress. Identifying methods of how to deal with stress can be super helpful, and a lot of the time stress can come from a lack of direction in many different elements and with stress can bring anxiety. Right now it could be a lack of direction in money, it could be a lack of direction in your career, in your passion, in your fitness – whatever it is, it can cause stress, which may me mean you are just vibrating on the wrong level.

What is it at the moment that you are thinking about most? Are you using a distraction method? Or are you being productive with your downtime and utilising in a positive manner? What normally happens in survival mode is we all go crazy survival, start doing everything under the sun to avoid the thing that stresses you the most and then you are distracted from that for a while, until you can no longer hide from it. A really good way I find on day to day to connect with my direction is book ending my days. I came across this method a few years ago in a book by Darren Hardy called the compound effect. He talks about how book ending and doing small simplistic positive things daily, over a long period of time have a compounded positive effect… FACT. Let’s use an example in fitness: So you start running. Lets picture it: Week 1… you set out to try and run a 5k…. but you get to 2k and you are really struggling. So you take a little walk breather, then you do another 500m, little walk and then do that until you get to the end. Next week you do the same but you manage to get to 3k before you need to do that. You consistently build this up and all of a sudden in 8 weeks you have run 10km without stopping… because you have just bitten of small chunks daily and weekly and been consistent. Its the same with your work and your career. Creating routines and habits, it takes 21 days to adapt, 42 to consolidate and 63 to master. So why do we give up in week 2? Small consistent positive steps daily equal massive results in 60 days, in 180 days, in 1 year for example if you just read 10 pages a day – thats 3650 extra pages of knowledge you would know this time next year… CRAZY right.

I digress as per usual.. So Book Endings. Book ending your days, by having small routines that start and complete your day, and helping you reflect and calming it all down, no matter what has happened. Make them small, make them manageable. For me reading 10 pages a day really helps me focus in the morning, it doesn’t take long, but I like to get up, make my breakfast, drink a glass of water and read my 10 pages – nice and chilled start to the day. My worst nightmare is rushing so I always prefer to get up early and start my day relaxed. That usually follows by exercise, but I am getting better at listening to my body, so I always have Plan A and Plan B depending on how my body feels. Then I normally write out what needs to be completed that day, prioritise in order and that includes work and play, then at the end of the day just spend 5 minutes reflecting, normally talking to my other half about everything in that day and then planning my next day. It doesn’t take long and its very rewarding. But this process helps me focus and stay on track. It helps me plan the next step, helps me breakdown any anxiety I have over that day because I’ve made it manageable and maybe it can help you too.

So what’s your direction?
How are you going to bookend your days to create that focus?

Key things:

  • Make it sustainable
    • There is no point in creating a bookend thats going to be unsustainable daily. I have the option if I am going to struggle for time I listen to an audiobook for 10 minutes – especially making sure I do this once I go back to work. I feel something to help you engage your brain is important.
  • Write down what you need to do and prioritise
    • And No don’t go for the easy option – actually prioritise. Some tasks take less time but that doesn’t mean they need to be done first. Break it down step by step. Have you ever read the book the 1 thing? It talks about taking your list all the way down to the 1 thing you need to focus on for that period of time – so for the next hour what is the 1 thing you are going to focus on.
  • Do something that makes you feel good – if thats going for a run, maybe writing a blog, journaling, exercising, yoga, cleaning – whatever it is do it.
  • If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed Go back to step number 1!
    • Make it sustainable – what can you remove, or what doesn’t need to be done right now and what can you do that will make you feel brighter and vibrate on a better level.

As Dr Seuss says above, you are the master of your direction. You wear the shoes, wherever you want to go you can, you can steer yourself in any direction you want… so what do you choose?

I’ve missed writing so much, and I hope this blog helps you.
Head over to my instagram for my IGTV that talks more about this too.

All my love,
Jayne xx



Finding My Power

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Ever heard of that saying… “tell the negative committee in your head to shut the f up and sit down?” Yessss! I realise probably most of us have had that thought and had a small chuckle to yourself there. But I read it again in a book a couple of weeks ago while trying to do a little soul searching and it HIT me smack bang in between the eyes – STOP!

“Jayne Nisbet – WHERE HAS YOUR CREATIVITY GONE?”

We jest, but I have had writers block for maybe a year now. In the space of that time I felt like I lost my voice a little, not in a bad way, but more in a way of questioning where I wanted to position myself. Working out who was I trying to reach out to. What I wanted to share. Who did I want to share that with. Then, the big old doubt bubble would come surrounding my brainwaves and say… “yes, but who even cares what you have to say anyway so…. what’s the point?” Has anyone met our friend, Mrs doubt?

That’s were I have been in terms of my writing… on a big old journey of redefining my creativity… Life Status: I’m in an extremely happy, positive and loving place – the BEST, and also physically, psychologically and work wise – which is another reason why I had to realign my reasons to write. I realised I needed some time and space away from socials and from blogging to figure out where my space was and also what I had to say was valuable for the people I wanted to help. Because let’s be honest, the reason we blog, the reason we post, the reason we believe in something, is because we want to share and utilise our experience and expertise to help others, right?

So let’s touch on the above. When we honestly take a step back and look at what we are posting and who are we posting for… who is it? What are we actually trying to achieve? I’ve really been delving into this recently with some of my coaches I help online – engagement doesn’t always mean business if it isn’t for the right thing – we can sometimes get caught up in that negative bubble of posting on socials for self gratification. Checking how many likes you get, how much engagement you have got, slipping into that slippery slope of not getting what you need from elsewhere, and trying to fill that void with social media. This is why we need to remember not everything we see on social media is real – BUT what is real on there, is everyone is facing the same battles – no matter how big or small your following is – everyone, to an extent, is driving for perfection. That’s where, around this time last year, it changed for me. This time last year my eyes opened – “Am I posting with my followers in mind? Is this post actually achieving what I want it too? Or, is this an expression of my frustration? A flight for attention? A dig? Am I actually seeking emotional fulfillmet through social posts, comments, likes, a flurry of messages to check I was okay? Ummm…reality check. Am I part of the pity party?” I’d had enough. What sort of cycle was that to be in? A dangerous one, and I wasn’t a buyer anymore, time to step out. Time to step back from the social game and go inwards. Time to workout what the HELL was I playing at.

Lets Break Down a couple of things here that were going on amongst all of this and the reasons why I think I felt the way I did:

  • I was turning 31 last summer – should, at my age, I be playing around in these games on social – and for what? It didn’t make me happy, more critical on myself and a higher need for reassurance.
  • I wasn’t sure of the reasons behind my posts, which meant every post wasn’t from the heart but more from a point of frustration. Therefore I didn’t feel I was contributing anything of value.
  • I questioned if what I had to actually contributed even mattered to the world, if the things and feelings I had been through that I wanted to help others with mattered, based upon likes…and so on.

Silly right?!

Fast Forwarding MANY MONTHS

After taking some time away, it really gave me a chance to actually find fulfilment in my day to day, in my personal relationships, in my work, in my passions, in my hobbies, at home, in my cooking… THE LIST GOES ONNNNN and onnnn! So now feel I am ready to be creative again. A more older, wiser, creative Jayne, whom can relate (I hope) to many others adapting to their 30s in a world where the image of “perfection” is rife.

Just a little side note – in the midst of taking a step back and actually taking time for me and learning to appreciate the silence, the inner peace and the self approval, out of nowhere it felt like a king in shining armour rode in to my life… more to come from this later – but just a little sign for anyone out there reading this that needs to hear this: “You as YOU are enough.”

In line with all this, I also took a look at my books and realised I didn’t relate to them anymore, at all! Therefore they have also come through the growth and rebrand and I hope this rebrand can help you, especially in times like these where life can potentially get a little bit too much, and some of your fears and anxieties can creep back in.

To mark this moment of growth and refinement, for the next 48 hours I have made Free-ed available for download on Kindle for free.

Head over to Amazon and check out both my diary and book.

Have a read, take pictures of the most helpful parts, and tag me along the way to see if I can help you on your journey.

I hope in times like these I can help YOU break away from some of those self sabotaging doubts, sit that negative committee right back down and refind yourself amongst the madness.

All my love,

Jayne xx

30 things I’ve learnt being 30

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So with less than a month till I’m no longer just 30, I was doing a little bit of reflection and I thought id type a little blog about some of my lessons this year. I was going to do as a video… but I’ve run out of time to edit soooooo here we go with a blog – I may video for release on my 31st…. OMG 31! I was reflecting over the last year over the weekend and how much has changed in my life and lessons I have learnt. It’s crazy when you look at it how much you can grow as a person in a year so here’s a little insight:

30 things I’ve learnt being 30:

  1. age is definitely just a number – you don’t feel any different all you might do is just adjust your outlook on a few things to remind yourself your not 21 anymore 😁
  2. Being single is okay!! Especially in London. I remember leading into my 30th I felt this massive pressure to be in a relationship again and I was panicking and thinking oh shit.
  3. 30 is definitely the new 20! It’s been the first year I’ve really started to feel I’ve come into my own person and own that. You stop worrying about all the other stuff that used to cause you upset and remove it.
  4. You can just keep improving your fitness. This year I have probably become the fittest I have ever been in my life even more so than when i was an athlete – just all rounded and not lost any strength.
  5. Real friendships last no matter the distance and miles. I think we get older, friends start to marry off, move away but the ones that are real are always there. I do not miss the days of being a teen and having to go through all the girl bullshit we all did when we were at school.
  6. You only live once so eat the cake, drink the wine and actually live your life – it won’t have that much impact on you if you do everything in balance.
  7. Don’t take life so seriously: in my 20s I was so focused on being an elite athlete I took EVERY element of my life so seriously including sleep. Having a couple of nights where you maybe stay out later is actually good for your soul.
  8. Happiness doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It’s being perfectly happy and accepting what you have while striving to improve.
  9. Laugh more with people you love
  10. Consistency over volume. I read an article the other day actually which backed this up. As you get older consistency is more of the key rather than caning your body all the time!!
  11. Nightclubs are not for me hahaha I used to force myself to go out to clubs and this year I sort of realised crowded dark rooms are not fun for me. In my 18s-30 I barely went clubbing because I was training pretty much full time and in long term relationship. I much prefer drinks and dinner or a boozy brunch and in bed by 12 haha and that’s okay 😁
  12. Trust needs to be earnt
  13. You don’t need to have it al together. I think at 30 you feel is an anticipation you need to have it all together… it’s okay everyday is a journey.
  14. Being yourself is the best thing you can be and it’s the most attractive thing you can do. You will only attract people into your life who get you rather than moulding yourself to fit it (it will never work)
  15. I enjoy and thrive of being busy. I used to get stick all the time about being busy but I actually thrive of it. I spent time trying to strip life back and I hated it. You gotta do what works for you.
  16. Your never too old to just have fun…. dance in the rain, jump in the sea… you are only as young as you feel
  17. Others people’s judgements of you are definitely their judgement and insecurities. Take everything with a pinch of salt and move forward
  18. Heart break does get easier…. emotions are temporary and the feeling will pass
  19. You don’t need to be married, want to have kids right now or even be in a relationship… it doesn’t define you
  20. Time on your own is amazing. Never be afraid to travel and escape on your own. I’ve found these trips some of my most creative and productive in spending time working out what I want and who I am.
  21. Life is definitely better when you are laughing so make sure you take time every day and week to do something that makes your heart smile.
  22. You need to live more present in your life. Put your phone away in social situations and just live in the moment.
  23. Stop worrying about finding the right person, the right job, having the right body. Just be you and you will attract the right things in.
  24. Mistakes and hurt are genuinely just lessons that help you grow.
  25. Being kind hearted doesn’t make you week it makes you extremely strong
  26. Everybody has a story that you might not know about spend time trying to understand what they are going through rather than thinking it as a judgement of yourself.
  27. Creating busyness doesn’t mean productivity: learning to stop creating busyness and start being productive and accepting that rest is good
  28. You will always be enough for the right person
  29. Your smile and mindset has the power to influence, change and help others make a change. By sharing your story and by standing up it is helping others even when you doubt it is.
  30. Life is too short to live in regret, fear or anger. So forgive, face your fears and let go of anger. Focus on what makes you happy and rock it 😉

Be Your Own Sacred Space

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So I have been pretty quiet over the last couple of months. I wasn’t sure how to portray this into words, and I just felt like I had nothing to say, while trying to keep my shit together and carry on with life. Everything I had thought in something felt like it had turned out to be based completely on lies. I am a very upfront and honest person so when people lie I struggle to understand at times why they would do it. Ive spent the past couple of months just silencing my mind of overthinking and hurting myself and refinding me. London can be crazy, it can consume you and pull you in and sometimes you just need to take a step out. Its been a couple of months of transition, change, letting go, learning to trust in the process, learn to forgive when you don’t get an apology, learning to understand and accept me for me embracing everything I bring and owning it. Its been a journey that I have learnt a lot about my own resilience and learnt a lot about how much I have to give… and understand If I have this amount of heart to give to someone who takes it for granted I am so ready to give it to someone who really deserves it… its been a time to find a sacred space for myself. A time where I have really had to remove myself from a lot of things and focus on the things I know bring me peace in my mind, body and soul and focus on only me. I posted on mental health awareness week about how we all deal with mental health differently and we all have stigma about mental health and what it is. We all face mental health on a day to day basis just by how you deal with life. Some of us are talkers, some of us are not. I am certainly a person who likes to take some time out, understand it, analyse it, make peace with it and then move forward in silence. We can all find it hard to find that sacred space where you can heal. Heal from the race of life, heal from the words going through our heads, heal from the situations that break you heart. Heal from lies you have been told and knowing you will never find out the truth. I truly have some great concepts regarding Find Your Power – that’s what my soul searching does – helps the creative process. But the most important thing in this process is understanding what is your sacred space and helping your own mind and body be your favourite place to be.

In one of my last blogs I wrote about a non comparison of yourself to others. At the time I was experiencing a situation that I had ended up judging everything about who I was, my body, my mind and my soul. Questioning if I was good enough and if I would ever meet someone who accepted me exactly as I was – lets be honest I am a bit of a dork haha. I am a great believer in being kind and understanding everyones situation for what it is. The hardest thing with this is seeing the best in people and situations. The weakness with this is at times, you forget not everyone lives with such an open mind and open heart. Allowing toxicity into your mind causes the effect of a negative loop in your confidence. Even the strongest people can allow this to happen at times. All it takes is one small trigger to set it all off. What it takes is knowing how you can switch it off and get yourself back on track quicker. It’s having strategies for yourself, understanding yourself, being at peace with yourself. How often do you take time out just to reflect? Reflect on what makes you feel peaceful, where are you when you feel peaceful? What inspires you to make a change? If you are in a rut how can you get out of it? When you start really negatively talking to yourself, what has caused this? Is it unhappiness in yourself or is it a trigger for what someone else has said? For me the key message here for you is… you are in that head of yours a lot. We live there 24/7 so we need to ensure its a nice place to be. To create this we need to find time to create a sacred space, so when you are on your own in there its a peaceful place to be. When we create it, that’s when the magic happens, when your energy changes, when you radiate what you want back, when you shine brighter than the sun and everything feels easy. When the right people appear in your life and you learn to let go and realise what really matters to you. Write it out… State. what you want and make it happen. Take your time and find your peace. It’s not always going to be an easy journey, but when you get there, and you have created that sacred space, everything feels lighter and clearer. You deserve it… remember we are all human, good things take time. Sometimes you need to get lost to rediscover and remind yourself you can Create your own sunshine.

All my Love xxx

Impact

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Strong word… but so relevant as to how you live your life. What impact do you have on a day to day basis? Positive influential or negative and energy sucking. Do you step in a room and provide a presence, or do you you shy away and hide in the corner? Do you believe in every word you say, or are you nervous to put your words out there.

Every interaction you have leaves a lasting impact. What impact do you want to leave on people?

“You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do make a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”

Jane Goodall

Do you strive daily to leave a positive impact on the people around you or are you not aware of your surroundings? When you start to open up and become aware of how much your conversations and interactions affect not only your day but those you are around it shows you how important it is choosing the people you spend the most time with. When your conversations don’t flow openly these are not your people. Have you ever been in one of those situations where you are in endless conversation where you don’t want the evening to end? I love those conversations. It could literally come out of nowhere, but you walk away having learnt so much and it makes you think how much impact that person has had on you. Be aware and conscious of your words. Choose positive words, positive body language, positive smiles. Even when your days are feeling down, try and think how you can boost it. Today and this week think about your impact. Think about how you want people to feel around you, think about how you can help inspire someone to make a change, or help someone overcome something going on in their lives. Be open, be present and make a difference. Inspire others by how you deal with imperfections rather than focusing on being perfect. Get out there make a change, make a difference, help others, inspire others, show others the path, stick by people you love, help a stranger, help an elderly person across the road, stand up and shout proud knowing you are making a difference. Happy Sunday ❤

Lots of Love

Jayne xx