Finding My Power

Ever heard of that saying… “tell the negative committee in your head to shut the f up and sit down?” Yessss! I realise probably most of us have had that thought and had a small chuckle to yourself there. But I read it again in a book a couple of weeks ago while trying to do a little soul searching and it HIT me smack bang in between the eyes – STOP!

“Jayne Nisbet – WHERE HAS YOUR CREATIVITY GONE?”

We jest, but I have had writers block for maybe a year now. In the space of that time I felt like I lost my voice a little, not in a bad way, but more in a way of questioning where I wanted to position myself. Working out who was I trying to reach out to. What I wanted to share. Who did I want to share that with. Then, the big old doubt bubble would come surrounding my brainwaves and say… “yes, but who even cares what you have to say anyway so…. what’s the point?” Has anyone met our friend, Mrs doubt?

That’s were I have been in terms of my writing… on a big old journey of redefining my creativity… Life Status: I’m in an extremely happy, positive and loving place – the BEST, and also physically, psychologically and work wise – which is another reason why I had to realign my reasons to write. I realised I needed some time and space away from socials and from blogging to figure out where my space was and also what I had to say was valuable for the people I wanted to help. Because let’s be honest, the reason we blog, the reason we post, the reason we believe in something, is because we want to share and utilise our experience and expertise to help others, right?

So let’s touch on the above. When we honestly take a step back and look at what we are posting and who are we posting for… who is it? What are we actually trying to achieve? I’ve really been delving into this recently with some of my coaches I help online – engagement doesn’t always mean business if it isn’t for the right thing – we can sometimes get caught up in that negative bubble of posting on socials for self gratification. Checking how many likes you get, how much engagement you have got, slipping into that slippery slope of not getting what you need from elsewhere, and trying to fill that void with social media. This is why we need to remember not everything we see on social media is real – BUT what is real on there, is everyone is facing the same battles – no matter how big or small your following is – everyone, to an extent, is driving for perfection. That’s where, around this time last year, it changed for me. This time last year my eyes opened – “Am I posting with my followers in mind? Is this post actually achieving what I want it too? Or, is this an expression of my frustration? A flight for attention? A dig? Am I actually seeking emotional fulfillmet through social posts, comments, likes, a flurry of messages to check I was okay? Ummm…reality check. Am I part of the pity party?” I’d had enough. What sort of cycle was that to be in? A dangerous one, and I wasn’t a buyer anymore, time to step out. Time to step back from the social game and go inwards. Time to workout what the HELL was I playing at.

Lets Break Down a couple of things here that were going on amongst all of this and the reasons why I think I felt the way I did:

  • I was turning 31 last summer – should, at my age, I be playing around in these games on social – and for what? It didn’t make me happy, more critical on myself and a higher need for reassurance.
  • I wasn’t sure of the reasons behind my posts, which meant every post wasn’t from the heart but more from a point of frustration. Therefore I didn’t feel I was contributing anything of value.
  • I questioned if what I had to actually contributed even mattered to the world, if the things and feelings I had been through that I wanted to help others with mattered, based upon likes…and so on.

Silly right?!

Fast Forwarding MANY MONTHS

After taking some time away, it really gave me a chance to actually find fulfilment in my day to day, in my personal relationships, in my work, in my passions, in my hobbies, at home, in my cooking… THE LIST GOES ONNNNN and onnnn! So now feel I am ready to be creative again. A more older, wiser, creative Jayne, whom can relate (I hope) to many others adapting to their 30s in a world where the image of “perfection” is rife.

Just a little side note – in the midst of taking a step back and actually taking time for me and learning to appreciate the silence, the inner peace and the self approval, out of nowhere it felt like a king in shining armour rode in to my life… more to come from this later – but just a little sign for anyone out there reading this that needs to hear this: “You as YOU are enough.”

In line with all this, I also took a look at my books and realised I didn’t relate to them anymore, at all! Therefore they have also come through the growth and rebrand and I hope this rebrand can help you, especially in times like these where life can potentially get a little bit too much, and some of your fears and anxieties can creep back in.

To mark this moment of growth and refinement, for the next 48 hours I have made Free-ed available for download on Kindle for free.

Head over to Amazon and check out both my diary and book.

Have a read, take pictures of the most helpful parts, and tag me along the way to see if I can help you on your journey.

I hope in times like these I can help YOU break away from some of those self sabotaging doubts, sit that negative committee right back down and refind yourself amongst the madness.

All my love,

Jayne xx