Enhancing your mind

“Reading…? I mean who has time for that?” Used to be me, as I sat and watched endless episodes of breaking bad and prison break on an evening when returning from a busy day with clients. I hadn’t read a book in years apart from skimming university books for my masters degree for the knowledge I needed to know. I was literally letting my brain and life be consumed by reality tv. Didn’t have much substance behind me and I found myself being the joke of the party again just like I was at school for being the non intelligent one. Great! I really hated being that person. One of my friends had given me a book called “The Slight Edge” by Jeff Olson for my 26th Birthday and for 1.5 years… I didn’t it up. I thought why on earth has someone bought me a book I HATE reading, I don’t have time to read, who has time to read and what on earth can I learn from a self development book that I can’t learn by just being out and about and talking to people. Truth is, I was never very academic. My attention span was so low I would just get distracted. But when you looked at every element I would spend hours scrolling through social media, watching rubbish TV, when really I could pick up a book and develop my mind for 10 minutes. It took me to hit a real low point in my life at the end of 2016. I just felt completely lost, confused, alone, didn’t really get where life was going, didn’t really know where I fitted in but I knew I needed to make a change. But where did I start? I mean when I describe this low… I wrote a message to mind in an alert as I didn’t feel I had anywhere else to turn. I truly started to Hate who I had become, the choices I was making, the life I was choosing for myself. I had lost complete sight of who I was. I ordered a “Happiness Planner”… I thought yeah good place to start. But it wasn’t enough, then this book which has sat in my drawer for 2 years I was like I will give it a go. I don’t want to be out every night, I didn’t even want to talk to anyone, I just wanted to figure things out and figure out what I needed to change. I started researching some of the greatest world renowned motivational speakers the likes of Tony Robbins and Robin Sharma. Education and reading seemed to be a key so off I went on my journey to the Slight Edge. It was life changing. This book gave me so much insight into what was going on in my head I couldn’t believe it. I read it again straight away before picking up another book which has been sitting on my shelf for years… The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters. This book BLEW my mind! Our brains are so complicated and unless we manage irrationality it will rule our lives! Before moving onto another recommendation The Compound Effect and this book literally changed my view on EVERYTHING! This book helped me implement strategies to help me manage my emotions morning and evening. Rules of thumb to help me ensure I was living positively and purposefully. Ways to manage situations and relationships that are toxic and time management with that. It helped me realise that I only need to read 10 pages a day… that’s all just 10 pages… do you know that’s 36,500 more pages of information by the end of the year from only a 15 minute routine every morning! CRAZY! It made me start to think about the compound effect of finances, life choices, relationships, self talk, training and so on! I was EMPOWERED! So yes you get the gist, if you are struggling to get into reading and Before I keep rambling on here is my TOP 10 Books I recommend for you to really impact and empower your life!

  1. The Slight Edge by Jess Olson
  2. The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma
  3. The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
  4. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers
  5. The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
  6. The Chimp Paradox by Dr Steve Peters
  7. The Universe Has Your Back by Gabriella Bernstein
  8. Shine by Andy Cope and Andy Whittikar
  9. Start with Why by Simon Sinek
  10. Light is the New Black by Rebecca Campbell

All Reviews Will Be Uploaded by Saturday Evening.

Who has it all figured out anyway?

I am here to tell you not a lot of us haha! I got asked the other day, Jayne what is your 5 year plan and for the first time in a long time I froze and panicked! OMG I do not know what my 5 year plan is anymore, I have been DRIFTING!!!!!!!!!! I am a massive planner, like I know its frustrating for others how much I need to know what’s going on. I am not very good at just going along with day to day without a structure and plan in place. The key thing being because I just don’t want to miss anything. People, moments, work, training, food haha (yes you laugh if I don’t plan in food I might get too busy and forget). I like to fully live life and have a plan so I can see everyone In my life but sometimes it gets too much and I panic.

silence ❤

How many times have you found yourself there? Lost in the darkness unsure of where it is your life is steered. At 30 sometimes I despair at where my life is going, am I on the right path, trying to get back in sync with my vibe and ensure I am “flowing”. Oh yes, we have all heard it, get in your flow and everything will be okay… be patient everything is a work in process… your prince charming is round the corner… okay thanks… Mum that doesn’t help me right now (wondering if I may actually be the real life Bridget Jones) **haha chuckles of laughter**…. Okay we laugh, Maybe a little bit of an exaggeration but sometimes if you don’t laugh you might cry so it is always best to laugh and smile and maybe have an (awkward silence) but you get the gist. Any ladies or gents out there you may know this feeling and even those in relationships and couples. Are you in the right place, are you with the right person. Or career wise, are you In the right place? Are you on the right path? Are you working to live or living to work?

I adore the people in my life who seem to have it all figured out, their aura so strong and powerful with satisfaction and focus. The relationships of couples I know where all your feel there is pure love and complete adoration. I sometimes struggle at wondering if that will eventually be me one day and if someone will be able to put up with my complete stubbornness to loving to have a plan and meticulous and annoying drive for grabbing everything with 2 hands and going full pelt…. But what is the plan? THIS IS BREAKING NEWS Ladies and gents and I am here to tell you something BIG…. Are you ready for it? 

Drumroll please…

THERE IS NO PLAN!!!

I know….  “WHAT?? NO PLAN” I hear you say… what are we all going to do? Surely this is how we base life…  But the plan is you CREATE your own plan and your story! Wow… I know… I find it crazy writing that (crazy planner woman over here) but each day is an opportunity to create your plan. To write your story, to find your path, to make a change, to improve your life, to find love, to be love, to LIVE! What a great thing that each morning you wake up, you breathe in fresh air and have the opportunity every morning to do something with your life, to inspire others with your life, to help others, to help yourself and most importantly to find your power in yourself. This is part of the opening to my new book. Find Your Power which is currently in the process of the plan… and yes this plan has been sitting there for 10 months. It’s taken me 10 months to get round to reminding myself I am at my happiest creating. I am assuming you have all seen PS. I love you? The part of the movie that she is telling Gerry she was born to create. This sounds ridiculous but as I watched this movie in December for the first time in years this quote has stuck with me, the theme song and everything has given me some weird sense of creativity back, like a chord struck. Writing is my creativity and I love it and it helps me help you guys and girls, it also helps me create speaking content to deliver epic talks and speeches. It helps me remember who I am, what I stand for and who I want to be. What is your creativity? Where do you want to go?

Key Thing:
It isn’t about the perfect plan, the perfect life, the perfect Flow, the perfect image, the perfect balance. It’s about just being. Something I am trying to do… just be!
Its about accepting that you have flaws and understanding what you can do about it, but embracing that you can’t always be perfect.
It’s about knowing that no matter what judgement comes your way, you can only be true to who you are.
It’s about accepting what will be will be. You can’t force situations, you can only nourish them.
It’s about being patient, when you want to rush, and about being calm when you want to blow!
It’s about being present right now in this moment and embracing its all step by step, moment by moment, day by day, week on week, year by year.

What is the point in this blog for you? To help you relax, to calm, to flow, just as much a post for me as it is for you. If you are reading this and you are in a momentary lapse of – I am not at the right point in my life. I am not where I need to be… STOP! Don’t panic! You are exactly where you need to be right at this moment in time. Whatever confusion you are going through, whatever success you are feeling, whatever pain you are potentially going through, what is it teaching you? It’s not a negative, it is there for a reason to help you grow, to help you flow and to help you understand what you need more of in your life or less of in your life, people, hobbies, places, air. Whatever you are up to this Wednesday, take time to understand your silence. Take time to get comfortable in it. Time to understand it is good for you. Time to understand the more silent you are the more you can hear, the more you can create, the more you can become clear and the more you can get comfortable in being yourself. Remember you are 90% of how you react to the 10% of life you cannot control. Life is too short to live in fear and doubt and a lack of self love. I am on this journey with you the whole way. Take some time out to create your silence and find some peace.

Happy Wednesday 🙂

Love Me xx


Sweating it out: My top 5!

Sweat… the love hate relationship most people have in life – Do we want to sweat? Do we not want to sweat? Do we enjoy the pain? Do we not enjoy the pain? The relationship that as trainers we try to help you get positive connotations with the fact that is it not just good for you body but also your mind too! Every time I take on a new client or teach a class, clients cannot believe how good they feel after, mind, body and spirit! woohooo!

Yes, you may look at me and my energy and sigh because yes I have had it lucky, exercise is an engrained part of my life, it always has been and always will be since I was a little tot, setting myself time goals when I was 6 to how quick I could run to the end of the street and back like a loser!

The hardest part of it all is forcing yourself to get out and do it… and that’s just it so many of us just don’t do it! For some of us exercising comes naturally and it takes a little more time. For me that’s things such as retaining information – such as at school I had to study for weeks and months to try and retain information it just wasn’t natural for me! I only ever wanted to be doing sport. It’s the same sort of thing if you aren’t natural to fitness but you can train yourself to understand and love it because SWEATING is so good for you! Scientifically has been proven to reduce your stress and anxiety! There is so many ways you can get into a community and environment too. I get quite a few of you messaging me regarding training, classes and anything fitness related. I am going to breakdown my top 5 training sessions in London for you on here that will enable you to break down your barriers to fitness!

Easy and Convenient: Running

There are so many awesome parks in London that you can start your fitness journey. 2 Benefits you are getting outdoors and embracing nature. You can take it completely at your own pace. My favourite places are at Battersea Park and Hampstead Heath. I have Started doing some track sessions also at Paddington Track which is all for FREE! How incredible is that. If you want more guidance on running please get in touch on jayne@jaynenisbet.com.


Group Community & Overall Body Goals: F45 Training (Kensington Olympia)

Obviously I am biased here but I only got introduced to F45 when I took on my position. When I first went to try an F45 I wasn’t so sure but once I went and trained up and looking at exactly how it is all programmed at HQ I was so impressed at the amount of detailing goes in. What I love personally about our studio is the community environment we have managed to create. I have such an incredible team of trainers who want to make your experience the best yet!! With different workouts on different days, we target each of your training systems to ensure you have a really good full body workout everyday!

You can sign up for your 1 week free trial here

High End Boutique: Sweat by BXR London

My Squad at Versa Climber with Alex Nicholl

Yes you have all seen on my instagram the LOVE for the Versa Climber! Why?? Because it’s something that is SO good for your cardio vascular system without the impact of running or for me the boringness of running and yes its tough!! But its so good! The music and the vibe in the classes are unreal with carefully thought out playlists which is incredible and motivating! Honestly if you haven’t tried this class you need to try it! You can buy a Trial Sweat Pack here. I would say you need to do at least 3 climbs to get into the swing of it but I promise you… once you get it you will be wanting to get back for more and the whole facility is just incredible. Get down and check it out and you might even find yourself signing up for the Vertical Mile Challenge!

For the Fitness Fanatic: Barrys Bootcamp West

I was introduced to Barrys by a dear friend of mine when I was going through a bit of a tough time in my life. When I started at Barrys I was like WOW this is literally incredible! It was THE ultimate stress buster for me mostly because I just love the treadmill, but the workouts were literally pushing me to my absolute maximum and my favourite instructor Connor knew when I was slacking so he wouldn’t let me slow down! Everyone around me was so fit aswell which was amazing. The good thing about Barrys is the different levels that are on offer to you, beginner, intermediate and advanced for both the treadmill and the weights. If you are feeling intimidated don’t be worried there are different levels for you to start on. The instructors are all amazing: Connor, Jason, Izy, Jay C just to name a few – I think If you haven’t tried one I would recommend going down to see what all the buzz is about.

For the stress head: Kobox

Ian Streetz and the girls at Coyo Event last weekend

What I love about Kobox is the opportunity to go HARD on the bags but also get a full body workout too. If you haven’t tried boxing before then this is a great place to start. It is non intimidating, the instructors and staff are super friendly and it’s a great combination of on the bag and off the bag. The classes are intense, but again are adaptable to all levels so please don’t let this put you off. They have an intro pack aswell on their website so even just try a couple of classes out.

Key things from this post:

There are so many opportunities to sweat around you! Not all of them you are going to like so find what one works best for you. Neutralise the serotonin levels in your body and feel better with the endorphin release you get from exercising. Sweat is sexy, its makes you glow, it makes you look good! Don’t be afraid. If you need a gym buddy you will find me at all of these places so get in touch and I will hook you up! So this week – work with the sweat! Feel it, embrace it, challenge it and find what works best for you! Come and check us out ASAP at Kensington Olympia – I promise you we will provide you with the friendliest and most fun environment yet. Lots of love,

Jayne xx

Don’t want to waste another day

Life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it…. so when life gives you lemons you need to make lemonade. What this means is we are all going to get situations that are chucked at us and are not in our control of happening… For example at some point in your life your car will break down, you will walk into a room of people and feel uncomfortable, you will experience heart ache, you will experience death, you will experience new life too, you will have to work with negative people or you will miss you bus and it then starts to rain! Wowsers the worst but what you can control is how you react to it! When your car breaks down – is the whole world ending too, or do you logically think about it and think strategically about how to get the car back on the road, and then do you go onto thinking further well there was a reason this happened… what is it teaching you? Why did you get your flat tyre? Were you rushing? Did you hit a kerb? When you walk into a room of new people and feel uncomfortable how do you react? Do you go into your shell and retreat? Do you automatically think they are judging you? OR do you just own it! When was the last time you experienced heart ache… wowsers it really can be the worst pain… The worst I have ever felt was. only about 9 months ago where It literally felt like someone had ripped my heart out my chest… almost like a mourning which seemed so far fetched and shook me so much…. BUT I used to to help empower me to focus on making me happy! The thing is all the time things will happen to us, ALWAYS, every day – but how do you wake up and smell the coffee? What is it you are going to do today that’s going to make you react better? Remember you have an impact on everybody you meet! Yes everybody! Everyone you cross paths with on a day to day basis will be influenced and impacted by you… so what is the impact you want to leave? Positivity and enthusiasm, encouragement and excitement or just plain bland boring, negative moaning Minnie? The best compliment I have ever had was someone telling me they felt happy around my aura because it shone with positivity and happiness – how nice is that!

Think of these 4 things: Trigger, Feeling, Behaviour and Outcome.

Trigger
What triggers your mood, the situation or whatever is about to happen… for example the weather! Its a gorgeous Monday morning, the skies are blue, the sun is beaming and everything is merry, apart from the fact it is 2 degrees Celsius outside… Scenario one: You focus on the sunshine and blue skies and tell everyone what a beautiful morning is it… the sun is shining, the birds are singing, gorgeous scene with frost ridden ground and crisp fresh air…. you share this positivity with another and they look at it from another perspective. Scenario two: The sun is shining and skies are blue but all you worry about is the fact that its 2 degrees Celsius and you are freezing you absolute buttocks off and couldn’t give a flying rats arse to whether it was sunny or not you JUST want it to br summer ran d w arm again…. but will probably then continue to moan that in the summer its too hot or its raining. Wow well hello Negative Nancy… I know the person I would rather be around!!

Which leads us onto Feeling
Lets look at our scenarios above – straight away you can see exactly which person is about to have a better day… and why because its all about how they see things, their perspective and outlook on things! Focus on the sunshine, it will bring you light, they will bring you light!

Leading onto behaviour
Which behaviour is going to have a more positive impact on those around them? Scenario 1! You might have a little giggle at it and think yes but dear is is still freezing cold.. yes it is but now you are focusing on the sunshine and the blue skies it takes away the element of the focus being on the cold and we all have a much brighter mood, happier outcome and more positive behaviour. Scenario 2 is going to leave you there thinking… wow its freezing, I may aswell lock myself away and miss the beauty of the day, because there is no beauty in being cold…. Do you know what guys and girls someone times you just need to dance in the rain, feel the cold and embracer the moments.

Outcome.
As you have guessed by now the outcome for scenario 1 is a positive happy fulfilling day…. the outcome for scenario 2 is spreading negativity and unhappiness to all those around them


Moral being… lets start looking at things with what the trigger is… As we know 10% of what we get challenged with is out of our control… but WE are in control of 90% of how we react… infact you are in control of 100%! SO whatever you are doing this week ask your self: how can I change this into a positive? How can I control this behaviour in a positive light? Lets shine, inspire and motivate others to do the same.

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Need to find that “off” switch? *Hands up* My off switch isn’t very good… like ever! haha I love to be busy and filling up my life with being busy!  But I am also very good at using busy as a coping mechanism to hide emotions and feelings, it’s a distraction method many of us use to hide potentially a few things: stress, anxiety, fear, depression, hurt, worry, heartache and loneliness. I was speaking to someone just the other day and its only been recently that I can sit and watch part of a movie on Netflix without feeling “guilty”. HOW ridiculous is that and unlogical does that sound really haha but its true! I told you I was daring bare! It’s actually something we are SO bad for in society and it then means it actually makes others feel anxious for not being so busy and its this massive vicious cycle – I remember once I got asked out on a date and my response was I am actually not free till October 10th…. and that wasn’t a joke! I had filled in every weekend and free evening with something! Poor guy I used to be such a woman on a solo mission I have got better over the years haha.  

Anyway back to the point: busyness! Why do we fill our lives with being busy rather than embracing moments? Put pressure on situations rather than just letting them blossom? Create scenarios in our heads that are not even truly valid. I have been reading the book the art of being brilliant (in fact I have been reading a lot again recently which has Brought back my creative flow – its my meditation) but we are all so busy that we miss things, we miss living and we miss nurturing our relationships and ourselves. Reading this morning about busyness brought up this topic. With our lives being so much busier than ever there is only so much our brains and neural system can process and yep you guessed it – it chooses what it wants to hear and what it doesn’t. Have you ever had that grumbling feeling that you don’t want to hear something so you pretend that you didn’t? Like when you were a kid and you were told to tidy your room…. yeahhhh mum sure I will do that – until your dad threatens to chuck all your clothes away in black bags if it isn’t done by the morning – OH now your listening.

Information passes through 3 systems:
1. Deletion
2. Distortion
3. Generalisation

Deletion

Have you ever read a sentence or read your own work and missed out the 5 extra “the” in your paragraph? But its only because your mind automatically deletes those words, its busy it doesn’t have time to consume them so automatic deletion happens. Sometimes I would question when you think you have had a conversation but your mind deletes that it has… almost like when you “forget” the conversations you had when you were drunk hehe just a little joke. Deletion takes away the information we don’t want to see. For example, if you are saying oh what a beautiful day it is…. and someones response is but its cold… they are deleting the positive of the fact its glorious sunshine!!!! WHAT?? Lets look on the bright side of life… we live in the UK its going to be cold from November – March lets embrace the sunny days and feel the rain for what is it.

Distortion

This is where we change the view of a situation to fit our values rather than looking at it with open eyes. I wish I was better at actually distorting, but I am not. What I try and do is always look at it from what is called in coaching: the Pillar method. Your opinion, Their opinion and someone from the outside looking in . Rationalising the situation and then making a decision on the next best approach. The worst thing about understanding and nurturing psychology is knowing there is reasons for everyones reactions BUT obviously it helps you help others. Your body distorts images or situations based on what you want to see not necessarily for the truth.

Generalisation

This is the worst! MY GAWD how many times have we ALL generalised a situation based on past feelings or emotions? HANDS UP I am guilty. This is human nature and a protection mechanism, but actually not everyone has the same intentions or want to hurt you, or lie to you or drop you! This I would say is the one thing we all need to get better at. Generalisation ruins friendships, relationship and careers because you automatically think something will happen because it did In the past… so I am here to tell you something… it blooming well will if you think like that because guess what……. drum roll…. that’s exactly what you are attracting because that’s exactly what you are looking out for.

So why do we need to switch off more? It stops us with the above, it enables us to slow down and process things, discover ourselves, find peace and not jump to conclusions. Find your silence hobby and ensure you do even just 5 minutes a day, whether is journalling or reading or mediation or exercise. Silence your mind and heal your head, heart and soul. So would you lie with me and just forget the world? I hope we can all start.

Becoming Human

That process, sometimes where you need to lose yourself. To allow yourself to feel out of control and go with the flow. Something that comes very unnaturally for me. It’s been almost 5 years since retiring as an “athlete” and I still reminisce in those days and what they meant and how they shaped me as a person. Creating my superhuman thinking, that I can achieve and be anyone I want to be. What we struggle with transitioning into “normal” life is a change of identity from one life to another life. It’s a moment a lot of us get lost, but it’s the time to get lost and explore and start the next chapter of whom you are becoming. I know I have struggled to leave that identity behind me, and I still find myself beating myself up if I miss a session or if I eat badly and drink too much. As usual the athlete mindset of perfectionism towards areas of control can kick in and everything can get too much where you step back and reevaluate. It’s a process of trial and error, in all areas, work, relationships, pressures and friendships.

 

For me I made a massive life move to London 2 years ago and it has turned out to be the most adventurous and best move I have made. For the first time in years I feel like I belong again. I have a social life that keeps me happy, a fitness life that keeps my body and my mind fresh and currently work that I absolutely adore. But it’s been a major process… a long old process which you can still at times beat yourself up about. I can find myself judging my life against others and angered at myself I am not at different life phases BUT then I remember I need to breathe and look at what I focused my life in my 20’s on instead. If you are currently struggling to find your human, I want to tell you it’s a journey and its a process. It’s a constantly process of learning and understanding you, as truly you, naked, stripped and as nature intended, taking a deep step into your soul and asking what truly makes you happy.

 

Everyone has an opportunity to change their life in the blink of a moment but so many of us are going through life with our eyes closed – OPEN THEM! You might miss your opportunities that are right In front of you. Why I am writing this? I get a lot of you messaging me regarding how in control I am, busy and focused and how do I stay so positive all the time…. ? True answer is because I am learning to trust the process. The heart aches, the let downs,  the mistakes, the failures, the sad days, the positive, the proud moments, the anxieties I sometimes I feel, the friendships I make daily, the people that pass through life, they are all there for a reason, to help shape you… EMBRACE THEM. They are either a lesson or a blessing, follow your gut instincts and lead with your heart and open your mind to the possibility that all of us are struggling in some ways. The key being: how do you look at the outcome? The positive happy people are the ones who look at everything with opportunity to grow and learn. It doesn’t mean we don’t have down days, we have just learnt how to use them positively. Always bounce back, and always learn. Take your time out to tune into you,  and when you are ready…. become your human – your raw, unapologetically beyoutiful you! Welcome back to my Blogs… all my love Jayne xxxIMG_2871.JPG