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It’s not the future you are afraid of… Dealing with an Anxious Disposition

Insecurities… our biggest cause of anxiety in the world. It can ruin even those that seem the most confidence and come across as if they are unstoppable. But what does it mean:

• Uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence:

◦ “she had a deep sense of insecurity” .

• The state of being open to danger or threat; lack of protection:

◦ “growing job insecurity”

Insecurities can come from when we face are unsure of our position and where we stand:

• Job

• Relationships

Or From rising social status of the need to find perfection and the perfect life:

• Social Media Influence

Unfortunately in this day and age it is hard to escape the pressures that surround us on a day to day basis, meaning that our lives have become very stressful and the external pressures we face to be a specific way and live a specific way have become extremely high. The other thing being is no one can escape the reality of what they do. You can see everything about everyones lives. No one can escape a non response of an email as you can instantly call them, whats app them, voice mail or instagram message… Its crazy. But why do we all get so anxious about everything? I have been doing a lot of thinking and analysing over the last few weeks as I have found myself being drawn into social media and starting to doubt myself and what I bring and if everything I am doing to raise awareness and support is helping anyone at all- its crazy. But what are the insecurities you face in these situations – why do you become anxious and frustrated?

I saw a fantastic quote yesterday that inspired me to blog about this:

Its not the future you are afraid of… it’s the fear of the past repeating itself that haunts you.

Take a moment to really think about this?

What in the past have you not dealt with that is following you into the future and sabotaging you moving forward?

Is it the fear of rejection? We have spoken about the confidence cycle quite a lot (see above). Rejection and the feeling of unwontedness can spark major triggers in your confidence. We need to address these issues first from the red circle to the green circle so you know what you bring and whom deserves it. If you have the stimulus of suffering from any form of mental health issue: depression, anxiety, eating disorders – your automatic cycle will be crisis. That is okay it’s the process of accepting this is your natural reaction and working towards always the green box.

Every time I feel myself moving to the red cycle, I need to take time out to reflect, because a lot of the time it is actually myself creating the situation, the doubt and the fear in my head based on the reality of potential a previous situation or traumatic situation that has emotionally scarred me.

This all sounds a bit overwhelming I know but it is the reality a lot of us face. If you are struggling with anxiety and your confidence, remember it is good to talk it through with someone to help you see the rationale. Spend time working out 1) why you may potentially feel the way you feel, 2) what previous situations have caused you to feel this emotional trigger of self doubt, 3) What enables you to stop the doubt from settling in? 4) Have you communicated your fears with yourself and created a plan to deal with them?

Just remember even the most confident people have times they doubt, but what they are really good at is reflection and understanding why they feel that way. We can bounce back quickly without showing much doubt because we address and nip it in the bud. TAKE some time today to answer the questions above. I will work with you too and address my own fears.

Take time daily to remember what you bring and who you are.

Take time to love yourself and take time to help others find themselves.

Don’t stop giving love because you are afraid of hurt and rejection. It’s true the ones who love the most hurt the most because you give so much of yourself away, BUT we are in control of who we give it too an in control of how we react to it. Be Strong and start rewiring your triggers now.

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