As someone said to me the other day, “Jayne remember never let anyone dull your sparkle,” it was light another light switch going off in my head. I spend so much time and energy working on mindset management that sometimes I don’t recognise situations instantly that are “dulling” my sparkle. Since I have started working towards a more life coaching approach to clients, to help them look at inner peace – basically stopping self sabotage – its really started me thinking how many people allow others to dull their positivity. I have literally flung myself this last 6 months into mindset management, and creating your best life, inside and outside, with my main success goal as finding complete happiness within myself – as a whole. Success and happiness looks so different for everyone, and everyones priorities are different, everyones goals are different, so the first thing you need to learn to accept is never judge anybody on what their goals, visions, life of happiness, life of success looks like, because what do you know? It might not be your ideal, but if they are happy then thats amazing. You also need to think before you speak, verbally attack or ridicule someone for their choices. You don’t know what turmoil someone is going through, gone through, what struggle in their mindset they are having, the impact of what you say, your words – written or spoken that can affect their headspace. Your actions and ignorance to someones well being. Fact is – everyone is guilty of it, and how does it make you feel when someone says something about you, to you, at you without knowing the full picture and dulls your sparkle?
Truth is – and alot psychologists have found that truely when people verbally ridicule, attack or justize you – it is due to lack of self confidence in an area that you are strong in. It is a reflection of what they lack that they ridicule. Take a professional sports player – fans and media – when the sports player is having a bad run, or a bad day, makes one mistake or something is going on externally, that that fans and media don’t think twice about the words and affect this has on the sports star and its purely a refelction of the persons unhappiness – but think twice before you say anything – because elite sports people are not robots – they are living humans, who have feelings, who have lives, who can see everything people post about them – and its horrific. Think about the last time you said something out of spite, jealousy or rage to someone and didn’t think about the consequences that could have on that person?
But how do you stop self sabotage from other peoples actions? How do you stop people dulling your sparkle? Mind Stress Management: have an action plan to how you deal with stuff. I have been doing alot of reading on how the brain functions and reacts with each part. Have your plan in place:
Remind yourself –
- Who is in charge of your thoughts? YOU ARE
- AMP – Accept – Move on – Plan
- Accept what that person has said and remind yourself that it is just a relflection of how they feel about themselves
- Once you have got your emotions and anger and frustration out about the situation or words said (sometimes it is good to have a cry/punch a pillow/ do whatever you need to do to get out your upset and anger)
- Plan how you will alter your emotions to counteract what has happened
- Positive Affirmations
- Journal frustration and write your action
- Remind Yourself of all the positive things about you and how much value you bring to yourself and other peoples lives.
Remember you are the boss of your thoughts. You in an instant and in a moment can change your thought process. You allow others to affect you and only you can stop that.
Shine today – never let anyone dull that sparkle.