I have been talking for a while about doing this post to many of my female single friends, or those stuck in relationships or situations you aren’t taking power of the situation, and it wasn’t till 2 weeks ago that I bumped into a female friend on a night out, and she had been going through some guy issues, that we had a full on motivational conversation with her about how to take control of her life back, then I thought – I really need to get this post out to the world: The Single Girl in the Modern World.
Modern dating is so messed up! From both sides – both male and female. 30 years ago you met someone, you would “court them”, PHYSICALLY write letters to each other, not know what was going on in each others lives, marry early, have kids, work through your career and that was life. NOW you chuck in social media, media pressures, women and their careers, female empowerment, male empowerment, constant access, flights, cars – EVERYTHING is so modernised it complicates the true concept of what finding your soul mate actually means. It is hard now adays to even pick up the phone yet alone write letters and wait days. Whats wrong with a bit of old fashioned romance?
In this day and age to actually admit you like somebody seems to be like a crime, “oh they like me” I am going to run 10000 yards in the opposite direction because I don’t actually want to face my feelings – EVEN when you like the person back too. Then we have those that have been stuck in relationships, but not brave enough to leave, even though they aren’t quite sure how happy they are, but they know they can get away with going out on the weekends and have their bit on the side and arrive back home to a warm bed at 5 in the morning and blame it on the taxi. Honestly – this world baffles me and these 16 months have really opened my eyes up. Do you like someone or do you not? Are you committing or are you not? Are you already in a relationship or are you not? Simple questions, simple answers, simple ways forward.
I am writing this because I am so frustrated at seeing people around me getting hurt because people don’t know how to and don’t actually deal with their emotions…. why not? As it is too easy now a day to hide behind a text message, run away disappear, but the main thing is the only person losing out is you. I want to help you take your power back, stop sabotaging yourself in relationships, men and women think differently – this is a fact, but if you spend 24 hours a day thinking about why it isn’t moving very fast or why they haven’t messaged back, I can assure you they aren’t and mostly don’t seem to understand why females get so upset about this issue. WE NEED TO TAKE BACK OUR EMOTIONAL CONTROL! (This is both male and females FYI because this situation can be flip reversed females to males) Only YOU chose who can affect your happiness and that decision can be made in 1 instant in a split second moment, so why not decide to take it back? If someone can’t be bothered to message you back – who’s losing out? It’s neither parties issue – but you have to remember it not yours, maybe they don’t value what you bring to the table. That’s okay – there will be another person out there that will 100%.
A lot of people I meet now that I haven’t seen in over a year say my presence in a room is 100000 times different, more prominent and present than 12 months ago… and yes it is – do you know why? Because I took control back in my life. This goes for both males and females – neediness, showing feelings and actually demanding attention will get you no where in this life. I have been reading an incredible book called “The Art of No Contact”. Some of the words in relation to modern dating are incredible! You may not want to play games – but to get what you want you need to cut someone out to win them back – I mean how ridiculous is that????
So here are my 3 top rules for the single girl in the modern world:
1: Don’t be afraid of who you are
Trust me – I have been there – you can ask my nearest and dearest – I have never been more open and honest with myself as to who I am now than I EVER have been. What does that bring along? exuberance? You attract in like-minded people – you feel invigorated – you started making choices based on your happiness, your level of happiness increases, you excel in work, you excel in your personal life – You Literally by being yourself at all times – you can only attract in what is going to value you as your true person in life! Learn to be comfortable with whom you are and whom you want to be – Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. When you start radiating self-worth and self-love – you will attract love and attention from the right people – Just start believing.
2: Don’t Make yourself emotionally unavailable
What does this mean you ask? Unless you know you are 100% not looking for anything – Stop blocking the potential love of your life walking through your door. Wasting your time on people who you are not going to commit too you – they are going to make you emotionally unavailable to the potential partner of your dreams walking down the street. We all have this nasty habit of liking the ones who bring so little into our lives. These are the ones we want to chase STOP! Question if you are having to chase someone – how much should they actually be there? REMEMBER you are a diamond – you are the ONLY you – you are unique, perfect and amazing in your own human – it is their loss and they will realise it and if they don’t again – that’s okay – they just aren’t right for you.
3) Stay true by your feelings
If you like someone – just blooming tell them – I mean don’t declare your undying love for them after 2 dates – read the signs, but too many people just pussy foot around situations in life now – not saying anything – HOW do you expect to get anywhere in life if you don’t tell people how you feel. If they don’t feel the same – it is a lot of wasted time and energy on your behalf saved. Be True to you, to your feelings and know that whatever you feel is amazing and as long as you are honest you don’t need to beat yourself up. If you tell someone how you feel and they don’t say it back then it is a short-term pain but much easier to live with and know where you stand than just wondering. So be upfront and confident in your feelings – and LADIES always trust your intuition. ❤
Be Yourself – Love Yourself – Find Yourself – Be Your Best Version ❤