Yes… ME! Learning to let the waves come to me and not chase them! Meaning I need to learn to be patient… and learn to stop time incase I miss things. Life is so precious and we spend so much time chasing things… Career Success, Love, Money, Glory, Image, Perfection – how often do you take time to just be in the moment? How often have you been impatient and its caused things to break down, or you have missed a vital piece of information, or been misinformed because you haven’t waited for the whole picture before jumping to conclusions? How often have you wanted the answers NOW and not waited for them to find you? Yes I am guilty of all the above. Of putting career before relationships. Of chasing perfection rather than embracing what I have. For fearing hurt/abandonment and jumping to conclusions in relationships. None of us are perfect but what we can is recognise these things. Take time to just watch the waves.
Take time to allow the waves to come to you, see the full picture, understand the process. Work on what you love while you do it… learn to embrace you and your time. Be alone in your head and it not be scary. Embrace your space, laugh with your friends, worry less live more! Work hard but remember that you need to play too. Be brave enough to be vulnerable, be brave to trust what your gut is saying without jeopardising your worth. Be brave to say you are worth the wait to achieve great things, but you have to go through process. There is no short cuts, so stop chasing the waves. They eventually reach the shore in a calm, beautiful manor!
So for now… laugh in the confusion, embrace the moments, live your life, but still visualise your dreams. Be patient in the process and dance your way to happiness, all in the knowing that the waves will eventually reach the shore, in the right time, in the right moment exactly the way it was meant to be.
Are you a sufferer of perfectionism? I know I am! Something I battle on a day to day basis. From striving to be a top 2%er and striving for excellence in everything (work, life, friendships, relationship) I have to try and not allow my mind to overthink it, over plan it and overanalyse everything. Sitting writing this as my flight Is delayed in the airport for a solo escape to get some rejuvenation and refresh my mind and body. We can be a nightmare to live with or be friends with. My major level of perfectionism is planning everything down to smallest T. I hate starting my day without a plan. Plans keep me motivated, keep me regimented and keep me on time! But from time to time we mess it up, the plan doesn’t happen, you have a rough day, you feel not so positive, but what do you do? You bounce back – usually with massive vengeance. I struggle sometimes to embrace when times are a bit tougher or I am hurting… mostly due to the fact that I like to be that beacon, that hope, that light and positive smile. You can inspire more people by being real and sharing you experiences than pretending it is all okay. I love this phrase above, you were born to be real, not to be perfect. So here is me being real. I am taking a few days out from life to get my soul right and rest my head and heart. Ill be back bigger and better with a fresh outlook, positive mindset and renewed energy! It’s okay to admit it and it’s okay to take a step back and put yourself first.
If you are struggling at the moment to find calm within you. It is okay to just be real. Speak about it, talk it through, write it down, ride the waves of emotions and remember to take time for you. Take time out to remember who you are, what you need and how you can keep a smile on your face.
So fashion – let’s talk about it. It is featured in our day to day lives. It is how we express ourselves, how we feel, how we portray who we are. Fashion can create first impressions and can be very defining for you. I remember when I first worked in an office and I put on my suit to go to work… the moment walking down the street I felt empowered, strong and successful. The same as what you wear in terms of how it shapes you and how you dress yourself. The best thing about fashion and beauty is that it is your way to express your personality but this scares people. They hide away and don’t express themselves because they don’t want to stand out. Part of “beyoutiful u” is trying to work with YOU to enable you to dress beyoutifully U according to your personality, your body shape, your skin tone and how you want to be viewed. I am going to be interviewing experts in the industry on what their hints and tips would be for you in terms of outfit choices, colours and shapes to suit who you are and what impression you are going to give. Here are some of my choices from the past month:
My Favourite: Networking Event
At a networking event you want to give the right impression. You need to decide what statement you are trying to make and what you want out of the event. For a recent networking event I wore this strong and bold jumpsuit. This jumpsuits highlights my curves in all the right places and it is a statement print meaning – I mean business and want to stand out. I know that monotone suits my skin tone and I brightened up the outfit with red lippy. POWER COLOUR.
Saturdays are all about looking fresh, having fun and being fashionable for me. This summer has been all about the sparkly trainers. I LOVE them. I am sad that this is coming to an end. But I love on weekends to look fresh, make a statement but still seem casual. I like to make sure that I am like: Hey I love fashion but today I am just chilling.
When you wear a statement dress and colour you are saying Hello World I am here. When I am feeling really strong and powerful in my mind, body and soul I like to step it up and be bold. Alot of people are afraid of being bold because they don’t know what people would say. I wouldn’t of dreamed of wearing ANYTHING this bold 4/5 years ago as I wanted to hide away. As I have worked on my mind and sould I have felt more and more confident expressing how I feel through clothes. You can too!!
Find your way to fashion freedom with my book: Free-ed: Stop Self Sabotage and start living your life again. OUT October 16th 2017. GET IT ON AMAZON NOW
When people talk about eating disorders and body dimorphic, if you don’t understand it, or haven’t been through the extremities your natural reaction would be,
“Why Can’t They Just Sort Themselves Out”
Trust me – you question yourself that numerous times – why can’t I just get rid of this? Why does this need to consume me? My parents would question themselves? Friends wondering why you put yourself through it? Everyone in your closer network is affected. But I am here to help and say it is okay, you can do this, and you will ALL live happier lives!
More the 1.6 million are directly affected with eating disorders yearly, and did you know that out of all psychiatric disorders – Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate? Probably not, as this illness has been the unspoken sin, the illness that no one realises how serious it is, or how much it can affect your life. It isn’t just someone who won’t eat, or binge eats, or manipulates their diets. It is a whole plethora of mental problems that affect this person entirety in mind, body and soul.
“The Health and Care Information Centre published figures in February 2014 showed an 8% rise in the number of inpatient hospital admissions in the 12 months previous to October 2013. The Costs of Eating Disorders report found that this is indicative of the trend in increasing prevalence over time: a 34% increase in admissions since 2005-06 – approximately 7% each year. ” (www.b-eat.co.uk)
With issues and costs on the rise, something needs to be done to help reduce these issues.
Luckily I am one of the survivors, but some others are not that lucky.
Why is this?
It could be numerous things – I just knew that I wanted and I deserved a better life than what I was giving myself, and I was determined to beat it to enable myself to fulfil happiness and others around me because I was pulling them down!
“Research suggests that around 46% of anorexia patients fully recover, a 33% improving and 20% remaining chronically ill. Similar research into bulimia suggests that 45% make a full recovery, 27% improve considerably and 23% suffer chronically.” (www.b-eat.co.uk
Wouldn’t it be amazing to turn around in 5 years time and say 60% make a full recovery? No longer will 20% die prematurely from this illness because more people will be able to approach and get help earlier? It isn’t just the complications that you have when you are in the depths of illness, it’s any complications you may have after and long term – like teeth corrosion, brittle bones, ulcers in your stomach, hiatus hernia in your oesophagus, stomach lining damage – we could go on but here is a glimpse and short story on my recovery.
Short Picture Story of My Journey from Admitting to Full Recovery
My recovery time from admission – 5 years!
My story is only one of a few that have fully recovered and made a new life for themselves. In pictures you can see the changes in my body throughout each phase. My story will be published next year in my book: Free’ed.
I now live a happy, confident and life that I want to help others realise how amazing they are and that they can make something of their lives – no matter what illness they are facing, life troubles or low they have got.
You have got the strength to pull through and you can do it!
On December 18th I am chucking myself out of a plane from 10,000ft to help raise awareness of the amount of support there is out there to help sufferers of Eating Disorders, but not just ED, any illness that consumes your life – you have the power to bring yourself back to a point that you realise your worth again.
And help me provide help from other sufferers out there who are struggling to find their inner strength.
“Standing there, on my home turf, in front of my home crowd. Feeling strong, powerful and ready. That’s when I heard the crowd roar – and that was the moment I knew… I had made it – I was free’ed”. Jayne Nisbet (CWG 2014)
Strong word… but so relevant as to how you live your life. What impact do you have on a day to day basis? Positive influential or negative and energy sucking. Do you step in a room and provide a presence, or do you you shy away and hide in the corner? Do you believe in every word you say, or are you nervous to put your words out there.
Every interaction you have leaves a lasting impact. What impact do you want to leave on people?
“You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do make a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”
Do you strive daily to leave a positive impact on the people around you or are you not aware of your surroundings? When you start to open up and become aware of how much your conversations and interactions affect not only your day but those you are around it shows you how important it is choosing the people you spend the most time with. When your conversations don’t flow openly these are not your people. Have you ever been in one of those situations where you are in endless conversation where you don’t want the evening to end? I love those conversations. It could literally come out of nowhere, but you walk away having learnt so much and it makes you think how much impact that person has had on you. Be aware and conscious of your words. Choose positive words, positive body language, positive smiles. Even when your days are feeling down, try and think how you can boost it. Today and this week think about your impact. Think about how you want people to feel around you, think about how you can help inspire someone to make a change, or help someone overcome something going on in their lives. Be open, be present and make a difference. Inspire others by how you deal with imperfections rather than focusing on being perfect. Get out there make a change, make a difference, help others, inspire others, show others the path, stick by people you love, help a stranger, help an elderly person across the road, stand up and shout proud knowing you are making a difference. Happy Sunday ❤
How often do you take on others problems and try to help them solve them? So often we take on the toils of others out of pure love to ensure they are safe and out of harm. When you work in an industry where helping people is your main trade you tend to bring this into your personal life too. Part of the hardest thing about being in industries where helping other is your key focus is where do your create that boundary. People are drawn to you because you are a helper, you are nice but then tend to drop you as soon as you are unnecessary. As humans its a natural instinct to be wanted to be needed. We like the idea that someone wants us or needs us. Especially as females we are providers, that what we are created for, to create little humans and provide for them. What I tend to find is I get too emotionally involved in those I care about, I feel their pain when things go wrong, I want to carry and nurture them to make sure they are pain free, but what you have to remember is everyone has to carry their own backpack. One of my friends pulled me aside the other day. With a lot of change happening in my life right now, it causes major unsettlement with emotions which causes you to over worry, over think and over emotionalise everything. She told me this story about your own backpack. Everyone has their own life backpack they have to carry. Everyones each individual backpack is pretty heavy, its full of everything in your life, your worries, your fears, your emotions, your trophies, your winnings, your dreams – everything. Everybody has one of these backpacks and everyones backpack is pretty darn full. You can’t unload someone else backpack onto yours, because how will you then be able to climb the hill? All you can do is hold their hand, support them, and encourage them to the top. SO here is my weekly motivation for you. If you are trying to help someone else unload their backpack. STOP. Support, cry with them, hold their Hand, encourage them BUT you cannot take on their backpack as well as your own. What I suggest for you this week is to support. If you can feel someone struggling, reach out. Ask them if they are okay, let them know you are there to support. Let them know that we can all talk about our backpacks, and we can all support each other. But remember you have enough in your backpack alone. You need to focus on that.
Change… the period of stepping out your comfort zone to challenge yourself in something new. This can be change in yourself, change in your life, change in your career, change in your focus. Change mostly petrifies people and causes an anxiety, as humans we are creatures of habit. We like to know what’s happening, what the next step is and to know we are in control of everything. Heard of the saying nothing happens when you sit inside the comfort zone. Magic only happens when you reach out and challenge yourself for something new.
Petrifying isn’t it… but what do you want to achieve with your life. Those that know me know I love to push a boundary. From major life changes and movements, I will always more than likely take the risk to reach for the chance to reach my wildest dreams…. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t but all the time at least I’m not sitting there on my butt waiting for. the magic to happen. SO change – what scares you? What excites you? Are you bored? Do you sit and dream about living your life a specific way and are too scared to leap… so “here’s to my dreamers, the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” — Steve Jobs, 1997
Make a leap, focus on what you want, embrace change, adore it, role with it, challenge yourself and live your dream daily. It all starts with one small step. Im about to embark on a new journey and change… I cannot wait!
Ladies and gents, one thing that’s always a hot topic is body confidence and body image. For many years I was completely obsessed with having THE perfect body, or having THE leanest because that’s how I felt people judged me. Don’t get me wrong I find it hard in my 30’s not to wonder if the reason I’m single is I feel myself have the body of a child still and a lot of the time struggle to accept exactly how I look, but that’s another matter that I will come on too. But the bottom line is, yes we all want to strive to look a specific way and yes we may want a bigger bottom, a smaller waist or want abs, but with all these different body shapes come all sorts of beautiful people. Really what is the essential matter is what lies within yourself. The words you tell yourself, your words you tell others, the patience you give yourself and the kindness you give to yourself and others. I became so frustrated at my body this year I even decided I was DEFINITELY going to go and buy myself some boobs. Had the consultation, got everything sized up and then I stopped myself for a moment. What were the reasons I was doing it? It was because I was struggling to accept myself the way I was. I looked at all these woman around me, who looked like woman, and I couldn’t accept that I didn’t look like that. But what I represent and what I do is about helping others embrace their bodies and shining through from the inside. So I took a moment, roughly around about the time I went to Tenerife to take a step back and reflect on things. What are the things people tell me: – I have incredible legs – I have a pure heart – I care about everyone – I am passionate – I am inspiring – I have an amazing smile – The best one I have ever had is I can light up the room with my positive aura.
When I stepped back I thought, if I was to get that done, I had to be doing it for me, not because It made me worry I wouldn’t meet someone who would accept me. Then it clicked, Someone who is meant for you will accept you exactly the way you are through everything. When I had the consultation and looked at my body with them I was like it looked weird. It looked weird because I spent so much time accepting my body as this tall, lean, athletic and thin looking human. For the first time in many years I was actually really healthy and happy with everything, especially in my approach to food. Other things were booming for me, my career, my friendships so really why was I standing there beating myself up about having a body surrounding a heart that can give so deeply to everything I do. So why am I writing this. I am writing this because we all face these issues. We all face times we just think I hate my body, I wish I was a specific size, I wish I had smaller this or bigger that. STOP… what I want you to do is take time out today to tell yourself what’s positive about you? What would you never give up about yourself? Who are you? What amazing things are happening for you right now? What do others say they would love about you? Focus on the positives, not physically but emotionally. Beauty and Bodies are only skin deep. Beauty fades, bodies change and when you are old and wrinkly you don’t want to look back and say I spent 30 years of my life hating on myself and not living life with vigour, fun and confidence. So go out there today, stop worrying about everyone else, start Walking proud whatever body shape you are, smile in the knowing that you are you, and that is the best version you could ever be.
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”
Vulnerability – I hate the feeling of being vulnerable I don’t know anyone who doesn’t. It makes me feel exposed, fearful and anxious. But when we enable ourselves to be vulnerable we can create this incredible journey of facing our fears because let’s be honest most of our fears make us vulnerable. Usually one area of fear can have a massive uptake for the rest of our days – we need to remember bad moments should only be a moment not an entire day. I have been feeling very fearful lately of putting myself out there. My entire life this fear held me back from so many areas, and every leap forward really was facing so many fears. I had always been so afraid of being set up to be completely taken out with embarrassment – which lead back to an experience I went through at 6 (in my book), but even though I worked through it with a therapist I still battle with this idea of being made a joke of and being embarrassed with who I am. My way of dealing is setting a goal so large and absolutely smashing it out of the park so I tend to then create this empowerment trip to prove myself that I am not that person, which becomes very tiring and then we go round in this circle of self doubt, criticism, vulnerability, facing fears, creating empowerment, building strength and then restarting to doubt again as I envisage I am being the joker or irritating (which is exhausting and I tend to need a time out) and then the next empowerment trip starts (tiring reading it isn’t it). I get so many of you message me asking how I manage to seem to have it all together. Honest truth is – I don’t. No one really has everything together, but what I am really good at is creating a strategy and path and being completely authentic throughout the whole process. Sometimes being honest doesn’t earn me the best brownie points as I tend to say what I think – something I used to be so afraid of to fit in…. WHAT is the point in trying to fit in when we are all meant to be unique? So here is my little Monday motivation for you. Everyone is facing a battle you might not know about – whether thats relationships, self esteem, career, body, mind, loneliness, fears, mental health… what we can all do is be more authentic? Be vulnerable, be the courage. Don’t inspire others by being perfect, inspire others by how you deal with your imperfections. Just listen… to your heart, to your head and be kind to yourself and those around you ❤ Happy Monday!
Strategy to Taking Control of Your Fear
Remind Yourself That You Can Handle Anything
Remember bad moments are only a moments
Feelings and emotions are temporary
You can only manage what’s in your control – other people are not! Focus on all that only you can control and that is your own emotions and headspace.
“Reading…? I mean who has time for that?” Used to be me, as I sat and watched endless episodes of breaking bad and prison break on an evening when returning from a busy day with clients. I hadn’t read a book in years apart from skimming university books for my masters degree for the knowledge I needed to know. I was literally letting my brain and life be consumed by reality tv. Didn’t have much substance behind me and I found myself being the joke of the party again just like I was at school for being the non intelligent one. Great! I really hated being that person. One of my friends had given me a book called “The Slight Edge” by Jeff Olson for my 26th Birthday and for 1.5 years… I didn’t it up. I thought why on earth has someone bought me a book I HATE reading, I don’t have time to read, who has time to read and what on earth can I learn from a self development book that I can’t learn by just being out and about and talking to people. Truth is, I was never very academic. My attention span was so low I would just get distracted. But when you looked at every element I would spend hours scrolling through social media, watching rubbish TV, when really I could pick up a book and develop my mind for 10 minutes. It took me to hit a real low point in my life at the end of 2016. I just felt completely lost, confused, alone, didn’t really get where life was going, didn’t really know where I fitted in but I knew I needed to make a change. But where did I start? I mean when I describe this low… I wrote a message to mind in an alert as I didn’t feel I had anywhere else to turn. I truly started to Hate who I had become, the choices I was making, the life I was choosing for myself. I had lost complete sight of who I was. I ordered a “Happiness Planner”… I thought yeah good place to start. But it wasn’t enough, then this book which has sat in my drawer for 2 years I was like I will give it a go. I don’t want to be out every night, I didn’t even want to talk to anyone, I just wanted to figure things out and figure out what I needed to change. I started researching some of the greatest world renowned motivational speakers the likes of Tony Robbins and Robin Sharma. Education and reading seemed to be a key so off I went on my journey to the Slight Edge. It was life changing. This book gave me so much insight into what was going on in my head I couldn’t believe it. I read it again straight away before picking up another book which has been sitting on my shelf for years… The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters. This book BLEW my mind! Our brains are so complicated and unless we manage irrationality it will rule our lives! Before moving onto another recommendation The Compound Effect and this book literally changed my view on EVERYTHING! This book helped me implement strategies to help me manage my emotions morning and evening. Rules of thumb to help me ensure I was living positively and purposefully. Ways to manage situations and relationships that are toxic and time management with that. It helped me realise that I only need to read 10 pages a day… that’s all just 10 pages… do you know that’s 36,500 more pages of information by the end of the year from only a 15 minute routine every morning! CRAZY! It made me start to think about the compound effect of finances, life choices, relationships, self talk, training and so on! I was EMPOWERED! So yes you get the gist, if you are struggling to get into reading and Before I keep rambling on here is my TOP 10 Books I recommend for you to really impact and empower your life!